"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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do women judge a man’s desirability by how well he reads and respond to flirting?

Pumax

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Even tho you guys know I'm a bit on the autistm spectrum, it's something I came to understand lately.

I saw how it works IRL, and so I've asked myself "how does a woman gauge how desired, desirable, and "high-value" a man is..how does she determine that a man is experienced, attracts women, and is actually getting laid?

As far as I can tell, I thought, she based that on how he responds to her flirting.

Let’s look at some examples.
If a woman flirts with a man, it can play out in two ways:

1) He’s "too autistic", like me, and misses even the most obvious signals.
He doesn’t respond to the flirtation, or rather, it falls flat because he takes everything literally.
She doesn’t feel "understood" because he answers the literal question she asked, rather than the underlying intent.
At the same time, this shows her that he’s a serious guy who doesn’t like to play games. He’s focused on his life and on being authentic.
Usually, these are guys like me, mature men who have their lives together and are successful, but who consistently miss these kinds of social cues.
But, at this point, she feel that if this man cannot read women flirting, there must be something wrong with him, and so, he has low value, even tho he is attractive and own his sh1t togheter.(This happened to anyone in life, and we also have an entire 3d for it, so this might not be an "autistic man only issue" https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/most-obvious-come-on-that-was-missed.13316/ )

2) He responds well to the flirtation. She feels understood because he realizes she’s "playing", he’s able to read between the lines of her "questions" and grasp her true intentions.
In that moment, he’s managed to step outside the framework of "real life" to engage with whatever playful nonsense she’s brought up.
She feels a greater sense of rapport with a man like this.
Consequently, a woman will assume that, even if he’s less physically attractive, and he doesn't own his sh1t, this man is the one who’s sleeping with more women, has higher value, and makes her "feel better", "understood".

There have even been extreme instances of "Case 1."
In such cases, rather than attempting to flirt, the woman might declare her feelings outright or ask the man out on a date. If you’re curious, you can find examples online: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2ylpi
In "Case 1," the woman might feel rejected, or perhaps simply conclude that the situation is too embarrassing, or that the man lacks the self-confidence to be direct and negate her.

In "Case 2," however, if she is negated, she perceives the man as having the guts to say things to her face.

It would be awesome to find out what you guys found out to be true in your experince
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Pumax

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Also, think about it.

Which of the two men will most likely have problems in LTRs when women are having emotional problems, because they don't feel "listened to," and thus resentment builds?
And which of the two guys would be willing to eat more sh1t and be more disrespected by her?

For example, I would expect to be the man 1 to whom she is communicating something with intent, but not being able to understand what she wants unless she actually verbalizes it. However, I can't imagine being disrespected or eating her sh1t, which Man 2 might do, because he finds it fun and it's part of his game, while he could probably understand what is going on
 

BaronOfHair

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@Pumax "It would be awesome to find out what you guys found out to be true in your experince"

We're all constantly scanning one another for indicators as to whether or not someone will align with us, whether we recognize that we're doing so or not. Women are no different when assessing a man's desirability
 

BackInTheGame78

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I mean, I've never been more embarrassed to read how many men on Reddit stories post about how they "asked a woman if they could kiss her".

Thank God I read a post that some guy was incredulous because a woman actually told him "That's not something you ask, you just do".

And most guys think this is "asking for consent" and defend it.

It's honestly fvcking pathetic...guys with no testosterone and no social skills to be able to read women and their reactions or human interactions to understand how this actually works reporting to having to "ask". I mean they might as well be a little kindergartner raising their hand to use the bathroom to women, because that's what they look like.

So if they are waiting for a man to know how to flirt, they are going to be waiting a long time. They don't even know how to know how to know if a woman wants to be kissed.
 
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zekko

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I mean, I've never been more embarrassed to read how many men on Reddit stories post about how they "asked a woman if they could kiss her".
Forget about asking, did they fill out the proper consent forms?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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zekko

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I saw how it works IRL, and so I've asked myself "how does a woman gauge how desired, desirable, and "high-value" a man is..how does she determine that a man is experienced, attracts women, and is actually getting laid?

As far as I can tell, I thought, she based that on how he responds to her flirting.
You know, I've honestly never thought about this before, but I think you may be on to something. I know I've been clueless any number of times about a woman coming on to me. Women's signals can be so subtle, they can go right over your head. But if you're a guy who's especially tuned into that sort of thing (which, I confess, is not me), you might be seen as a guy with a lot of experience, a guy who "gets it", and a guy with high emotional intelligence, all things which are attractive to most women.
 
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