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Divorced Dude (Not losing yourself)

rart

Don Juan
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We did it with no attorneys. Everyone I know who has used attorneys got raked over the coals with them billing them for every little thing and racking up 20-30K before all was said and done. They want nothing more than to drag it out and it make it as contentious as they can on both sides so the parties dig their heels in against each other and fight so they can go back and forth forever and make as much money as possible off them. It's a racket.

The most fooked up thing is that the only thing needed to get the ball rolling is for one side to say "I'm getting a lawyer" and it snowballs from there. I spent a pretty coin to keep the custody of my kinds, the money I could have spent on the kids.

Count yourself lucky you didn't have kinds with her. And for the future be damn sure about a women you have kids with. Of course it's easier said than done.
 

rart

Don Juan
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As an attorney myself I can tell you that contrary to popular belief here on SS and in the world at large, we aren't all money-sucking fiends that are only out to benefit ourselves at the expense of our own clients. You attorney sounds like he/she is having a difficult time getting a hold of the other side which is technically not their fault. That forces them to use the court for intervention when you can't make simple agreements and that stretches out the proceedings exponentially. And please don't try to do the divorce yourself.

Now, as far as not letting it ruin your attitude, I have also been where you are. I wouldn't let it affect you. The divorce does not have a major impact on you day to day since you have no children together. Be thankful for that. Most women you are dating casually are not going to care. It can interfere with a potential LTR possibly but this is fresh enough you probably aren't thinking about that anyway.

I would not say that any individual attorney is like that, but the whole system is surely is and attorneys make a decent living out of it.
 

BackInTheGame78

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The most fooked up thing is that the only thing needed to get the ball rolling is for one side to say "I'm getting a lawyer" and it snowballs from there. I spent a pretty coin to keep the custody of my kinds, the money I could have spent on the kids.

Count yourself lucky you didn't have kinds with her. And for the future be damn sure about a women you have kids with. Of course it's easier said than done.
What do you mean? I had 2 kids. That has nothing to do with anything. When 2 people have the ability to act like mature adults and make decisions that are best for the kids, you just do it.

Typically one side is out for blood tho and all it does is cost them 50K they could have split between them. How does that make any sense.
 

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