Did I just get rejected?

[brad jarry]

I like this girl and I told my best friend the story behind it and everything. Her and her boyfriend broke up about a month ago, so I figured I could take my shot. Two weeks ago, my best friend talked to the girl and mentioned my name.

The girl said "He s cool but I just got out of a relationship and I m still healing". Fast forward to today, I m still thinking about her and thinking about finally getting her number and talking to her. But I can t help but think about what she told my best friend.

Isn t what she said a rejection? Isn t that just a nice way of saying no? Cuz I bet if I was the best looking guy in the school, that d she say yes and forget all about "healing". Am I overthinking things?

 

[Shift]

Yes. Having a friend go talk to a girl for you does not project confidence. There are too many girls in the world to worry about one. Move on, and be a man next time and go talk to her yourself.

So what if she shoots you down? There's always more.
In the words of Pook, rejection is better than regret. Approach

 

[brad jarry]

Yes. Having a friend go talk to a girl for you does not project confidence. There are too many girls in the world to worry about one. Move on, and be a man next time and go talk to her yourself.

So what if she shoots you down? There's always more.
In the words of Pook, rejection is better than regret. Approach

yes, i'm overthinking things? or yes, I got rejected? sorry

 

[Dan Bautista]

I'm not sure what you mean by "mentioned your name" but you cannot know whether you were rejected or not when you haven't even interacted with her just yet. Until you interact with her, do not come to a conclusion otherwise they will just be based off assumptions, like what you've done here.

I'd advise you to talk with her and ask her out. If she gives you the "healing" excuse, she's not interested in you. If she agrees to go out, you go on from there.

Go ask her out, you're overthinking things.

 

[Shift]

As you are new, please start here:
http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/

 

[brad jarry]

I'm not sure what you mean by "mentioned your name" but you cannot know whether you were rejected or not when you haven't even interacted with her just yet. Until you interact with her, do not come to a conclusion otherwise they will just be based off assumptions, like what you've done here.

I'd advise you to talk with her and ask her out. If she gives you the "healing" excuse, she's not interested in you. If she agrees to go out, you go on from there.

Go ask her out, you're overthinking things.

By mentioned my name I meant she said to her "hey my friend would be a good match for you and I know you're single etc. so..?" and then she said what she said about still healing.

 

[dustmuffin]

yes, i'm overthinking things? or yes, I got rejected? sorry

Stop apologizing! Never say you're sorry!

 

[Dan Bautista]

By mentioned my name I meant she said to her "hey my friend would be a good match for you and I know you're single etc. so..?" and then she said what she said about still healing.

Many times both men and women won't admit liking someone to someone else, unless the other person does so first. So even if she does like you and you do like her, she may not be willing to be the first to express herself. So you'll have to figure her interest yourself by asking her out.

Since you've never really interacted with her, you can't really know about her interest level. She may be highly interested in you once you BESTOW her with your other-worldly presence. It's like finding a hot chick on a dating website and when you actually go on a date with her, you just don't like her even though she's pretty.

Refrain from having your friends talk to a girl to set you guys up in the future. It usually happens in settings such as schools but when you move out of school, what'll you do then? You'll get so used to having a friend introduce you to a woman that you won't be able to find women by your own. Also, it does show your lack of confidence, as Shift mentioned before.

The worst thing that'll happen is she'll give you the "healing" crap — which is automatically a sign of low interest level. She will probably be polite, so as to not hurt your feelings so don't worry about getting your feelings hurt. And even if it wasn't so, you'd have to suck it up and try your luck elsewhere.

The best case scenario is her going out with you.

Don't think too much about this girl, though. Regardless of the outcome, you've learnt something, right? Don't forget to read the DJ Bible.

 

[brad jarry]

You guys are so helpful! Thanks so much

 

[Dan Bautista]

You guys are so helpful! Thanks so much

No problem, pal. We're all here to help each other and ourselves out. Do share the outcome with us, if you want, that is.

 

[wifehunter]

There is a high probability that she is still into the other guy, and possibly hoping for a reconciliation. You just don't do it for her, right now. Give her space and time.

And yes, you don't want to go though friends. You need to find out if you actually like this girl. Talk to the ladies, next time. Friends can also screw things up. From now on make it between you and her.

Go out and meet as many ladies as you can. You may surprise yourself.

 

[narcissist]

It may or may not have been a rejection. Jus ask her out and you will find out. Stop doing this indirect gossip nonsense.

 

[brad jarry]

Hey everyone. Not sure if you guys are familiar with snapchat but on it, you can post something for all of your followers to view for up to 24 hours. The girl just posted something saying "someone text me!". I was gonna wait to see what this week holds and finally get her number on Friday but could this be my chance to ask for it? I read part of the DJ Bible and it said something about just going for your chance and not overthinking things and "rejection is better than regret" yet here I am overthinking whether I should ask for her number right now.

Is this like the perfect chance to get it? and even if I did get it what would I say to keep the conversation going and seeming like "the great catch"

I have a day from now to make a decision on whether I should respond to her snapchat asking for her number.

 

[brad jarry]

No problem, pal. We're all here to help each other and ourselves out. Do share the outcome with us, if you want, that is.

Hey everyone. Not sure if you guys are familiar with snapchat but on it, you can post something for all of your followers to view for up to 24 hours. The girl just posted something saying "someone text me!". I was gonna wait to see what this week holds and finally get her number on Friday but could this be my chance to ask for it? I read part of the DJ Bible and it said something about just going for your chance and not overthinking things and "rejection is better than regret" yet here I am overthinking whether I should ask for her number right now.

Is this like the perfect chance to get it? and even if I did get it what would I say to keep the conversation going and seeming like "the great catch" like the DJ bible puts it? Thanks

 

[Dan Bautista]

Hey everyone. Not sure if you guys are familiar with snapchat but on it, you can post something for all of your followers to view for up to 24 hours. The girl just posted something saying "someone text me!". I was gonna wait to see what this week holds and finally get her number on Friday but could this be my chance to ask for it? I read part of the DJ Bible and it said something about just going for your chance and not overthinking things and "rejection is better than regret" yet here I am overthinking whether I should ask for her number right now.

Is this like the perfect chance to get it? and even if I did get it what would I say to keep the conversation going and seeming like "the great catch" like the DJ bible puts it? Thanks

She wants attention, after having ended her relationship, though she may/mayn't be interested in another just yet. Send her a message to get her number (most use the number-snatching within the first 2/3 messages rule) and ask her out on a date.

As you're contemplating about sending her a message or not, someone else may already have. You're losing your opportunity by the second.

Don't worry about appearing "cool" to her over text. YOU ALREADY ARE THE GREAT CATCH. Being cool is "subjective", you'll do something you think is cool but it won't end up being as cool for her so just be yourself and funny. Don't send her text messages all night, though, because YOU ARE THE GREAT CATCH. Make the conversation brief. Get her number (and fix a plan to meet up).

It seems to me that you're waiting for the best circumstances before you actually ask her out but that most probably won't happen. If you want to date her, it's up to you to ask her out, NOW.

 

[brad jarry]

She wants attention, after having ended her relationship, though she may/mayn't be interested in another just yet. Send her a message to get her number (most use the number-snatching within the first 2/3 messages rule) and ask her out on a date.

As you're contemplating about sending her a message or not, someone else may already have. You're losing your opportunity by the second.

Don't worry about appearing "cool" to her over text. YOU ALREADY ARE THE GREAT CATCH. Being cool is "subjective", you'll do something you think is cool but it won't end up being as cool for her so just be yourself and funny. Don't send her text messages all night, though, because YOU ARE THE GREAT CATCH. Make the conversation brief. Get her number (and fix a plan to meet up).

It seems to me that you're waiting for the best circumstances before you actually ask her out but that most probably won't happen. If you want to date her, it's up to you to ask her out, NOW.

Well I took the chance but she opened my message and hasn't responded. I doubt she will. Mission failed. Rejection does feel better than regret, right about now though lol. I still feel kinda trashy

 

[Dan Bautista]

Well I took the chance but she opened my message and hasn't responded. I doubt she will. Mission failed. Rejection does feel better than regret, right about now though lol. I still feel kinda trashy

Don't feel bad about the "rejection". There are two possible outcomes to this scenario now.

1. She is busy at the time being and will get back to you later in the day.

2. She will not reply.

If she gets back to you later in the day, you go on from there.

If she doesn't, then oh well, at least you tried your best, yeah? You may try to explain the "rejection" to yourself at a later point with what ifs — "what if I'd texted her sooner?" "what if I'd not asked my friend to set us up?" — but do not fall into that trap. You did great and made progress today. You're far off from where most men stand right now. Right now, while you feel relieved what you did what you could, there's thousands of men out there struggling to make the same decision you just did so be proud of yourself.

You may not have her number at the end of the day but for least you won't waste hours before going to sleep contemplating about (how to) ask her out and whatnot. You've done your part and if she isn't interested there's nothing else you can do.

Never forget that YOU ARE THE GREAT CATCH.

 

[Mike32ct]

Being "fixed up" (to use a phrase older than dirt lol) NEVER works in my opinion.

Once someone else tries to set you up with a girl, the (target) girl almost ALWAYS pulls back and is suddenly not interested. I'm not sure why* and won't write a book here, but trust me on that.

Nothwithstanding all that, she doesn't sound interested anyway. But it was a good try. Don't let it bother you.

1. Move on.

2. Even though your friend had good intentions, it's critical that you get set up with women yourself and not through a third party.

*My guess is that women have way too much pride to be fixed up and would rather it "just happen naturally." Men don't usually mind though. Being introduced by a third party is fine, but if she senses that she is being fixed up, she will generally run the other way.

 

[dude99]

I like this girl and I told my best friend the story behind it and everything. Her and her boyfriend broke up about a month ago, so I figured I could take my shot. Two weeks ago, my best friend talked to the girl and mentioned my name.

The girl said "He s cool but I just got out of a relationship and I m still healing". Fast forward to today, I m still thinking about her and thinking about finally getting her number and talking to her. But I can t help but think about what she told my best friend.

Isn t what she said a rejection? Isn t that just a nice way of saying no? Cuz I bet if I was the best looking guy in the school, that d she say yes and forget all about "healing". Am I overthinking things?

Ask her directly yourself. Do not use hearsay.

Her answer to you not anyone else will be everything you need to know.

 

[dude99]

By mentioned my name I meant she said to her "hey my friend would be a good match for you and I know you're single etc. so..?" and then she said what she said about still healing.

Again. Ask her directly yourself.