Did I just dodge a bullet?

[darklucifer]

Dumped a girl I'd been dating.
We all know rose coloured glasses can cloud judgement.

Red flags:


Tattoos, piercings, dyed hair
Clingy/Controlling
Tells me how she pranked her dad with wrist cutting (WTF?)
Self harm- for fun/during arguments
Divorced parents
Sadistic stories against an ex
Bitching about other girlfriends/exes/relatives she knows
Creepy talks about murders/dead people/cemeteries/suicides/castration

Teens be whack these days.
What just happened?

 

[derricklerrick]

Shouldn't be a question.

 

[soulforge]

you avoided a complete disaster there fam.. you did the right thing there

 

[bigneil]

Says someone named Dark Lucifer.

 

[QuadDeuces]

A bullet would at least have been merciful.

 

[lizardking82]

You avoided a bloodshed there, man, like...creepy talks about cemeteries and dead people LOOOL

 

[darklucifer]

A bullet would at least have been merciful.

I don't know about that. I know women are emotional. But wtf kind of emotions are these?

 

[bigneil]

These were demotions.

 

[devilkingx2]

she sounds... like you're probably going to get murdered for dumping her

 

[logicallefty]

The bunnies are boiling as we speak.

 

[darklucifer]

A couple of people say it's BPD/Daddy Issues, can anyone relate?

 

[Polysix]

Are you kidding or asking for applause for dancing with her? It doesn't matter what the name of her issues is, leave that to a shrink. Just be happy that you're out early enough, because yes, you did dodge a bullet to answer your main question.

 

[xstang77]

A couple of people say it's BPD/Daddy Issues, can anyone relate?

It could be a number of issues, I see A lot of posts pertaining things like this from girls on fb,funny thing is there all single and brag about this stuff. It's not your problem man don't let her take up your head space she sounds immature as ****.

 

[SuckItUp]

Better question is why did you starting dating her at all?

 

[darklucifer]

Better question is why did you starting dating her at all?

I'm not here to justify anything.
A couple of months in the beginning were great. None of the crazy.
Then soon enough I could realise something was off with her stories which made no sense.
Felt like she's lying about the weirdest things, things which don't need to be lied about.
I became paranoid, call it being gaslighted, then I saw her family people being nuts as well with her mother with her own daddy issues and a sister with self harm tendencies as well.

I think I definitely dodged a bullet recalling all this.
Just going to focus on self improvement and myself now.

 

[Atom Smasher]

dl, I'm asking this sincerely in order to gain insight. With your forum name and your initial attraction to this girl, how do you present yourself to the world? Do you have that "Goth" look (I'm not even sure if that's a relevant term anymore), or a sort of dark, bad-boy image? Are you normally attracted to tattoos, piercings, dyed hair?

Again, not trying to make a point here. This is simply curiosity.

 

[darklucifer]

dl, I'm asking this sincerely in order to gain insight. With your forum name and your initial attraction to this girl, how do you present yourself to the world? Do you have that "Goth" look (I'm not even sure if that's a relevant term anymore), or a sort of dark, bad-boy image? Are you normally attracted to tattoos, piercings, dyed hair?

Again, not trying to make a point here. This is simply curiosity.

I appreciate your curiosity.
I do have several tattoos and disregard of other people in general, I won't call it being a bad boy.
I'm intrigued by cunningness, genius manipulations, thrills and sociopathic traits to imbibe them myself for gains.

My attraction to the girl wasn't based on her tattoos or piercings. I didn't see them before I slept with her and considered her the sweet girl she acted to be.

My perspective was and still is that nothing anybody else does affects me.
Call it having extremely strong boundaries. I stood up to her at every moment she tried to violate MY OWN boundaries.
Her reaction to this was to go nuts and show her crazy side to piss me off.
I absolutely don't care what anybody else does as long as it doesn't affect me directly.

I started reading about daddy issues and BPD here and could see the patterns fit.

Abandoned father
Self harm
Insecure around good looking females
Drama
Compulsive lying
Long history of exes
Guy friends 'who weren't really guy friends'
Obsession with gore and cute things both
Talking about stalkers
Bitching about other women/Drama

I think my biggest mistakes were not setting HER boundaries but unfortunately I find that as being weak. I believe if a girl respects me she won't automatically do anything to hurt me, if she does, off she goes.

Extricated myself quick knowing she might screw my life up and it would get harder if I stayed longer even though I had feelings and posted this.

 

[SuckItUp]

I'm not here to justify anything.
A couple of months in the beginning were great. None of the crazy.
Then soon enough I could realise something was off with her stories which made no sense.
Felt like she's lying about the weirdest things, things which don't need to be lied about.
I became paranoid, call it being gaslighted, then I saw her family people being nuts as well with her mother with her own daddy issues and a sister with self harm tendencies as well.

I think I definitely dodged a bullet recalling all this.
Just going to focus on self improvement and myself now.

The only reason I asked is that in almost every case with crazy women there are always small fissures in the facade that men typically miss or ignore, which if observed and thought about should lead the man to the conclusion that the woman has no long term viability as a relationship partner.

Part of a woman qualifying herself, isn't really discussed. Yes, it's an attraction switch but it is also a way to see if a woman is worthy partner.

Women always joke about the first date being an interview, but men should be asking questions that can elicit certain responses or behaviors to weed out low quality women just like an interview. It's similar to how a woman has her ***** shield up. Men should have their low quality radar on at all times.