Theminatar
Don Juan
How would I know if I'm depressed? Or simply down?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I only have 1 question for Tolle.n00bPimp said:Thinking too much leads to depression. I always feel for guys like you because I was once there. Anyways do yourself a favor and watch this. Also research Eckhart Tolle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeaWC6y0jFc
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Your future is determined by your present actions, thus; you can determine your future without resisting the moment.Theminatar said:I only have 1 question for Tolle.
How am I supposed to determine my future if I don't constantly think about it?
@Bible_Belt:
I sort of think that way, I look at the dark side of everything, I say what's the point in trying because I'm going to fail anyways. Also a lack of motivation.
Idk..
You're wise for a 15 year old.NorwegianDJ said:Your future is determined by your present actions, thus; you can determine your future without resisting the moment.
You must adapt a new mindset. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you're gonna fail, then you'll probably fail.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Deep stuff though, it makes sense.Theminatar said:You're wise for a 15 year old.
Many people believe that thinking about their future is the same as planning for it. Its not the same thing. You can plan for your future and make a contingency plan in case something doesnt work out. Thinking about your future involves dwelling on the possibility of the negative outcome (aka. failure). This thought of failure overpowers you in the long run and you will end up dropping your plans and failing. You only fail when you give up.Theminatar said:I only have 1 question for Tolle.
How am I supposed to determine my future if I don't constantly think about it?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Stop what your doing right now and just stand back and observe your feelings. You'll quickly realize that you really have no problems right now at this moment.Theminatar said:How would I know if I'm depressed? Or simply down?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.