backseatjuan
Banned
What is happiness?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Please elaborate.Value production + value reflection = happiness
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
We cant define your happiness. Only you can.What is happiness?
Happiness is an emotion that approximates to being successful, more than just surviving, but thriving. Since man cannot rely solely on his automatic reactions to survive, such as the case of animals, or in the case of children where adults look after them, he must guide himself independently using his own mind; living things require values, and man requires ethics. Values are universal to each particular species, to all known living things on Earth except man. Therefore each human being must achieve his or her own values independently by productive means.Please elaborate.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That's certainly not everybody. I know some (as well as myself) that define happiness (achieving my values) as building a business and being influential.Happiness is the ideal and futile pursuit of mediocrity.
'Happiness' is certainly over-rated. People feel they have the right to be happy... as if it doesn't come with certain achievements in life. this breeds disappointment and resentment in the mass of people.happiness is overrated and only comes in moments. life is suffering. people chase being happy to no avail. true happiness is being close to God and mastering yourself and knowing you are fulfilling your purpose
Yes, but you have goals beyond 'happiness'. That sense of achievement/ happiness comes from reaching your goals.That's certainly not everybody. I know some (as well as myself) that define happiness (achieving my values) as building a business and being influential.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That's called hedonism. I suppose that's a short term happiness, but really just serves to make the person less happy in the long run.Sadly, it's the drug addict, or the consumer of pornography, that falls victim to wanting to feel happy right here, right now... leading to an addictive and destructive habit.
this kind of 'happiness/ bliss' is just temporary escape, or the temporary obliteration of the conscious rational self.
Yes, just edited my post before.That's called hedonism. I suppose that's a short term happiness, but really just serves to make the person less happy in the long run.
Maybe the solution to that is to be in competition with other people. That way you have to be your best or else you run the risk of losing it all.Yes, just edited my post before.
But I think there is this logic in the pursuit of happiness as an end in itself that leads to hedonism. Without a set of higher ideals, there's no ability to discriminate between mere [animal] pleasure and 'happiness'. Sadly, this logic without ethical constraints leads to all manner of vices. Gluttony, greed etc.
And then the flip-side of this must be true - virtue leads to happiness. 'Vir' as in manliness.... virility.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.