backseatjuan
Banned
What is happiness?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Please elaborate.Value production + value reflection = happiness
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
We cant define your happiness. Only you can.What is happiness?
Happiness is an emotion that approximates to being successful, more than just surviving, but thriving. Since man cannot rely solely on his automatic reactions to survive, such as the case of animals, or in the case of children where adults look after them, he must guide himself independently using his own mind; living things require values, and man requires ethics. Values are universal to each particular species, to all known living things on Earth except man. Therefore each human being must achieve his or her own values independently by productive means.Please elaborate.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
That's certainly not everybody. I know some (as well as myself) that define happiness (achieving my values) as building a business and being influential.Happiness is the ideal and futile pursuit of mediocrity.
'Happiness' is certainly over-rated. People feel they have the right to be happy... as if it doesn't come with certain achievements in life. this breeds disappointment and resentment in the mass of people.happiness is overrated and only comes in moments. life is suffering. people chase being happy to no avail. true happiness is being close to God and mastering yourself and knowing you are fulfilling your purpose
Yes, but you have goals beyond 'happiness'. That sense of achievement/ happiness comes from reaching your goals.That's certainly not everybody. I know some (as well as myself) that define happiness (achieving my values) as building a business and being influential.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That's called hedonism. I suppose that's a short term happiness, but really just serves to make the person less happy in the long run.Sadly, it's the drug addict, or the consumer of pornography, that falls victim to wanting to feel happy right here, right now... leading to an addictive and destructive habit.
this kind of 'happiness/ bliss' is just temporary escape, or the temporary obliteration of the conscious rational self.
Yes, just edited my post before.That's called hedonism. I suppose that's a short term happiness, but really just serves to make the person less happy in the long run.
Maybe the solution to that is to be in competition with other people. That way you have to be your best or else you run the risk of losing it all.Yes, just edited my post before.
But I think there is this logic in the pursuit of happiness as an end in itself that leads to hedonism. Without a set of higher ideals, there's no ability to discriminate between mere [animal] pleasure and 'happiness'. Sadly, this logic without ethical constraints leads to all manner of vices. Gluttony, greed etc.
And then the flip-side of this must be true - virtue leads to happiness. 'Vir' as in manliness.... virility.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.