Dealing with an indecisive girl

[redpiano]

Hi All, was wondering if anyone experienced such a situation or a girl. I’ll try to keep it short as possible. This girl I barely know her for a month but we’ve been playfully flirting and she seems to be comfortable with light phyiscal touches.

- I asked this girl for her number. She totally freaked out. Only a few days after no contact she literally screamed out for my contact.

- Had a little chat with her via text. Never initiates anything and very reserved but very responsive

- A week later I gathered my courage to ask her via text. I seldom get to see her in school so that was my easiest route. She rejected me nicely with those stupid emojis saying she’s busy

- I asked her out again a few days later via text that I would like to treat her to a meal or something. She said no and it feels like I’m pressuring her out and suggested it’s better we stay purely school mates.

3 months later of no contact and avoiding her at all cost. I lost 10kg, got a new wardrobe and a chest, shoulder full sleeve tattoo.

Recently she seems to be orbiting near me. I believed her friends told her about the changes to my appearance. For these past couple of days she actually joined us for group study. ( for a year in class she never once joined us only recently). She seems to be everywhere. She sits in front of me face to face or besides me. Never once I talked to her, I totally ignored her but when I caught a glimpse of her face. Damm , looks like she ate from the toilet bowl.

I’m ignoring her because I still have very strong feelings for her and trying to move on. I respected her rejection but she isn’t helping. What should I do? She’s killing me inside by orbiting, I don’t want to cause a drama and leave the group study because of her.

 

[Glassguy]

- A week later I gathered my courage to ask her via text. I seldom get to see her in school so that was my easiest route. She rejected me nicely with those stupid emojis saying she’s busy

- I asked her out again a few days later via text that I would like to treat her to a meal or something. She said no and it feels like I’m pressuring her out and suggested it’s better we stay purely school mates.

Good for you for making a move and asking her out but I will say that I would have NEVER asked her out the 2nd time after she blew the first attempt off. That is extremely needy and you are chasing.

Also.......

Why in the world do you have such "strong feelings" for someone who not only shot you down 2 times but you have nothing invested in and vice versa?

 

[Alvafe]

I don't know about you guys, but... reading this I started thinking in a teenager, not a 36 YO guy

 

[redpiano]

Good for you for making a move and asking her out but I will say that I would have NEVER asked her out the 2nd time after she blew the first attempt off. That is extremely needy and you are chasing.

Also.......

Why in the world do you have such "strong feelings" for someone who not only shot you down 2 times but you have nothing invested in and vice versa?

To be honest, I have no idea why I like her so much. Probably another case of oneitis but trust me I’ve hang out with other chicks but I cant forget having that flirty fun with her before even though it was just a month.

Should I try avoiding her further? I feel like she’s feeling regretful on rejecting me. She probably heard I’m a person of higher status in a MNC company. I don’t know but my friends told me she’s a very realistic girl.

 

[redpiano]

I don't know about you guys, but... reading this I started thinking in a teenager, not a 36 YO guy

Well.... it just that I’ve never experienced such a situation. That’s why I’m just asking for advice.

 

[marmel75]

Treat her to a meal?? Dude dont ever say those words to a woman again.

 

[Mike32ct]

I’ll try to help.

1. She must be playing hard to get*.

*State of the art advice from 1977.

2. She doesn’t care about your looks, only your game. Be ****y and funny.**

**2004 advice

3. The is no escape from friendzone. Forget about her and move on.***

***Classic, timeless advice

Go with #3.

 

[Ranger]

To me, orbiting is a go sign. Stop asking her out. TELL her to meet you some place. Or just say, “I’m going to go get some coffee(whatever)” and hold out your hand to let her take it.
If she doesn’t...just point out that her hovering is weird. “Your constant hovering is rather odd.”

 

[marmel75]

Also, she isnt indecisive, simply very uninterested.

 

[Fugitive]

Interesting that you lost 10kg, got a new wardrobe and tattoo, all very admirable but the post is still about the same girl? Just a question is she the only girl in your city?

Get a new girl and she will be a distant memory.

If it's affecting you that much you should find a new study group. Whenever you come across her, leave the scene and be cold and distant to her without being a d*ck.

 

[lamath]

To me, orbiting is a go sign. Stop asking her out. Tell her to meet you some place. Or just say, “I’m going to go get some coffee(whatever)” and hold out your hand to let her take it.
If she doesn’t...just point out that her hovering is weird. “Your constant hovering is rather odd.”

You might be right there, however after asking her 2x he should not go for a 3rd time imo

If she is interested let her make the 1st move and invest in him.

If things end up going in that direction , i would not make it as easy for her.
Id make her work for it a little bit


I think her inrest level is medium atm need to get it to a higher level

 

[redpiano]

Also, she isnt indecisive, simply very uninterested.

I don’t know. I feel she’s playing hard to get too badly. Her rejection felt like a “@&$ test. I bet she didn’t expect I took the rejection seriously and now she’s seems to be trying hard to get my attention.

If she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t even bother to be near me. She has her own study group of Chinese peeps. Most annoying thing is she always find ways to sit directly in front of me or besides me.

I’m not going to give her any power over me. I’m just going continue to ignore her till she gets tired of her silly games

 

[marmel75]

I don’t know. I feel she’s playing hard to get too badly. Her rejection felt like a “@&$ test. I bet she didn’t expect I took the rejection seriously and now she’s seems to be trying hard to get my attention.

If she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t even bother to be near me. She has her own study group of Chinese peeps. Most annoying thing is she always find ways to sit directly in front of me or besides me.

I’m not going to give her any power over me. I’m just going continue to ignore her till she gets tired of her silly games

Sure...believe what you need to believe to protect your fragile ego.

 

[Ranger]

I’m not going to give her any power over me. I’m just going continue to ignore her till she gets tired of her silly games

Or it’s not really a “game” she just wants a man to get hold of her. Lead. If you’re going to keep your power you need to conjure up some assertiveness. Put your butt on the line. The idea is to find out once and for all so there’s no question one way or the other.

If she rejects you then you win and just move on. Be sure to tell her that her constant hovering is rather weird and seems a little too needy for your tastes. Say it with a smile. You win with this type of rejection especially. You free up your mind for more important things.
Besides, you said her face looked like she ate out of a toilet.

 

[redpiano]

Sure...believe what you need to believe to protect your fragile ego.

It’s really not about the ego. I don’t know how to explain the situation clearly in words. It’s just too damm obvious.

 

[Tilex]

I’m ignoring her because I still have very strong feelings for her and trying to move on. I respected her rejection but she isn’t helping. What should I do? She’s killing me inside by orbiting, I don’t want to cause a drama and leave the group study because of her.

You're ignoring her because you have strong feelings for her? WHAT?!?
That's an incongruent contradiction.

If you have feelings for a chick, your body is going to act erratic when you're near her.
It's something you cannot hide.
The body never lies when it comes to attraction, and she can see you bleeding for her like a damn chump.
You need to find someone else to think about and get her out of your head.
You're stuck in quicksand and you're just going to drive yourself crazy every time she keeps toying with you.

 

[redpiano]

Or it’s not really a “game” she just wants a man to get hold of her. Lead. If you’re going to keep your power you need to conjure up some assertiveness. Put your butt on the line. The idea is to find out once and for all so there’s no question one way or the other.

If she rejects you then you win and just move on. Be sure to tell her that her constant hovering is rather weird and seems a little too needy for your tastes. Say it with a smile. You win with this type of rejection especially. You free up your mind for more important things.
Besides, you said her face looked like she ate out of a toilet.

Haha yeah. She isn’t our clique with our group. She suddenly has been popping up to chat with them after a year? Lol. I’m just wondering what on earth does she want to prove? I feel she’s trying too hard and it’s making me uncomfortable. I walked out of the room today for a puff and return to sit away from her. Man the look on her face was creepy.

You guys must be wondering what an idiot I am to like such a girl but sometimes attraction isn’t really a choice. Feelings just come. She has a very cute side which gives me butterflies in my stomach

 

[Ranger]

Haha yeah. She isn’t our clique with our group. She suddenly has been popping up to chat with them after a year? Lol. I’m just wondering what on earth does she want to prove? I feel she’s trying too hard and it’s making me uncomfortable. I walked out of the room today for a puff and return to sit away from her. Man the look on her face was creepy.

You guys must be wondering what an idiot I am to like such a girl but sometimes attraction isn’t really a choice. Feelings just come. She has a very cute side which gives me butterflies in my stomach

Look, if you’re not going to fuk her take a picture and send it to me. If I think she’s cute enough, I will fuk her for the both of us.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Haha yeah. She isn’t our clique with our group. She suddenly has been popping up to chat with them after a year? Lol. I’m just wondering what on earth does she want to prove? I feel she’s trying too hard and it’s making me uncomfortable. I walked out of the room today for a puff and return to sit away from her. Man the look on her face was creepy.

You guys must be wondering what an idiot I am to like such a girl but sometimes attraction isn’t really a choice. Feelings just come. She has a very cute side which gives me butterflies in my stomach

Dont you realize that "cute" side is fine tuned to reel in guys? Any guy.... Find her devil...

 

[Ranger]

Dont you realize that "cute" side is fine tuned to reel in guys? Find her devil...

She does need sex and attention. She has to have some lure to bring in coks.