Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Dating Viability for Men in their 40s

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Pierce Manhammer

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As has been discussed it’s doable if you can score with women your age group that are top tier you should be able to score with younger gals. Not all will be into you though. You need to have everything on point and you definitely need to be in top physical shape.
 

corrector

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Always get the "tell me something I don't know" feedback on these types of threads.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Reyaj

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Yeah that's kind of what I'm getting at... So we know online dating is a thing... Let's say a guy is handsome, dresses well, good pics with a nice car and is 45 years old.

If he lists his age on his profile do you think he will be more viable than a guy in his 20s who also looks decent minus the wealth?
 

SW15

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Yeah that's kind of what I'm getting at... So we know online dating is a thing... Let's say a guy is handsome, dresses well, good pics with a nice car and is 45 years old.

If he lists his age on his profile do you think he will be more viable than a guy in his 20s who also decent minus the wealth?
No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
 

allergictobs

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I know several colleagues/high status men who have met their wives and had their first child at age 40-50. Their wife/girlfriend at the time was 25-30. So it's really not that rare, although all of those men are high status and wealthy, which probably helps a lot.

There is really nothing groundbreaking to this. Throughout history, successful men have always attracted the top women. If you are a successful man in your 40s or 50s, the top women still want to be with you.

The biggest hurdle is how to meet the younger women. It has to be through your social circle or within your professional field (e.g. a young nurse dating an older doctor).
 

Hamurabimbi

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No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
Skip the car pix. Or anything that makes you appear wealthy. I also did not include job or university. Tinder was (2019) fantastic for meeting much younger women.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Young OG

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Let's just use 45 as an example...

How likely is it to procure a woman of prime age between 24-27?
It can be done but you will most likely need to meet them in person, not online. It also helps if you take care of yourself and look younger then you are.

I'm 40 and I look like I'm 28-32. I can still get plenty of attention from younger women in public but online is harder because most younger women will reject me because of my listed age
 

Reyaj

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No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
Yes I agree and I think I have found this out with experiment also... Even in person, I almost feel like you need the woman to be attracted to you first before revealing your age.

I know several colleagues/high status men who have met their wives and had their first child at age 40-50. Their wife/girlfriend at the time was 25-30. So it's really not that rare, although all of those men are high status and wealthy, which probably helps a lot.

There is really nothing groundbreaking to this. Throughout history, successful men have always attracted the top women. If you are a successful man in your 40s or 50s, the top women still want to be with you.

The biggest hurdle is how to meet the younger women. It has to be through your social circle or within your professional field (e.g. a young nurse dating an older doctor).
Yes this can be true, however in these scenarios these women are mostly after security and not so much the person you are. The advantages a younger man has in finding a partner who wants to grow together with him are not really mentioned on here.

It can be done but you will most likely need to meet them in person, not online. It also helps if you take care of yourself and look younger then you are.

I'm 40 and I look like I'm 28-32. I can still get plenty of attention from younger women in public but online is harder because most younger women will reject me because of my listed age
Yes looking good for your age is key. I've always looked younger but I think father time is starting to catch up a bit... I've had a lot of recent women guess my exact age or be pretty close to it.

Lie on your profile. You’re 32.

Honestly this has been my most successful approach. I'm still trying to figure out what listed ages will work on the women's age demographics. For example even 32 might not get swipes from 21-24 year olds.... I think there is something about a next decade number that turns people off. 30,40,50 etc...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Seems too much of a bait and switch for me. Doesn't quite set the right tone for a relationship
I'll probably try it if I'm having issues with dating younger
 

Who Dares Win

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Let's just use 45 as an example...

How likely is it to procure a woman of prime age between 24-27?
Unless you have a top 10% body (muscles, low body fat, very good hair) and a top 10% life style (includes both finances and activities) there are very few chances...the right country may help but surely not anywhere in a western country.

If you move to the 28-32 age range, the chances grow strongly while at 35+ you should make it if you are a decent man above average.
 

Reyaj

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Unless you have a top 10% body (muscles, low body fat, very good hair) and a top 10% life style (includes both finances and activities) there are very few chances...the right country may help but surely not anywhere in a western country.

If you move to the 28-32 age range, the chances grow strongly while at 35+ you should make it if you are a decent man above average.
Sounds about right...
 

GhostApe

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No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
Agreed - I'm in my thirties and I'm filtered out by most of the twentysomething chicks in my area, because it's a college town and they want "Chad."

In-person is doubly good because it shows you have social skills, calibration, confidence and have nothing to lose by approaching, as opposed to being the creepy lurkers online.

Plus, online dating in general is a crap shoot. Competition is stiffer because men outnumber women by a longshot and women are quick to categorize anyone older as being part of that contingent of creepy older men lying about their age and coming off too strong online. I had an FWB who showed me the kinds of trash available in her area, and it was nothing but greybeards and dudes with double chins and receding hairlines spewing weird chatter about their sex swings within 1-2 messages.

You're gonna get pigeonholed if you try that route past a certain age.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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