"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Dating Viability for Men in their 40s

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Pierce Manhammer

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As has been discussed it’s doable if you can score with women your age group that are top tier you should be able to score with younger gals. Not all will be into you though. You need to have everything on point and you definitely need to be in top physical shape.
 

corrector

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Always get the "tell me something I don't know" feedback on these types of threads.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Reyaj

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Yeah that's kind of what I'm getting at... So we know online dating is a thing... Let's say a guy is handsome, dresses well, good pics with a nice car and is 45 years old.

If he lists his age on his profile do you think he will be more viable than a guy in his 20s who also looks decent minus the wealth?
 

SW15

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Yeah that's kind of what I'm getting at... So we know online dating is a thing... Let's say a guy is handsome, dresses well, good pics with a nice car and is 45 years old.

If he lists his age on his profile do you think he will be more viable than a guy in his 20s who also decent minus the wealth?
No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
 

allergictobs

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I know several colleagues/high status men who have met their wives and had their first child at age 40-50. Their wife/girlfriend at the time was 25-30. So it's really not that rare, although all of those men are high status and wealthy, which probably helps a lot.

There is really nothing groundbreaking to this. Throughout history, successful men have always attracted the top women. If you are a successful man in your 40s or 50s, the top women still want to be with you.

The biggest hurdle is how to meet the younger women. It has to be through your social circle or within your professional field (e.g. a young nurse dating an older doctor).
 

Hamurabimbi

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No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
Skip the car pix. Or anything that makes you appear wealthy. I also did not include job or university. Tinder was (2019) fantastic for meeting much younger women.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Young OG

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Let's just use 45 as an example...

How likely is it to procure a woman of prime age between 24-27?
It can be done but you will most likely need to meet them in person, not online. It also helps if you take care of yourself and look younger then you are.

I'm 40 and I look like I'm 28-32. I can still get plenty of attention from younger women in public but online is harder because most younger women will reject me because of my listed age
 

Reyaj

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No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
Yes I agree and I think I have found this out with experiment also... Even in person, I almost feel like you need the woman to be attracted to you first before revealing your age.

I know several colleagues/high status men who have met their wives and had their first child at age 40-50. Their wife/girlfriend at the time was 25-30. So it's really not that rare, although all of those men are high status and wealthy, which probably helps a lot.

There is really nothing groundbreaking to this. Throughout history, successful men have always attracted the top women. If you are a successful man in your 40s or 50s, the top women still want to be with you.

The biggest hurdle is how to meet the younger women. It has to be through your social circle or within your professional field (e.g. a young nurse dating an older doctor).
Yes this can be true, however in these scenarios these women are mostly after security and not so much the person you are. The advantages a younger man has in finding a partner who wants to grow together with him are not really mentioned on here.

It can be done but you will most likely need to meet them in person, not online. It also helps if you take care of yourself and look younger then you are.

I'm 40 and I look like I'm 28-32. I can still get plenty of attention from younger women in public but online is harder because most younger women will reject me because of my listed age
Yes looking good for your age is key. I've always looked younger but I think father time is starting to catch up a bit... I've had a lot of recent women guess my exact age or be pretty close to it.

Lie on your profile. You’re 32.

Honestly this has been my most successful approach. I'm still trying to figure out what listed ages will work on the women's age demographics. For example even 32 might not get swipes from 21-24 year olds.... I think there is something about a next decade number that turns people off. 30,40,50 etc...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

M

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Seems too much of a bait and switch for me. Doesn't quite set the right tone for a relationship
I'll probably try it if I'm having issues with dating younger
 

Who Dares Win

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Let's just use 45 as an example...

How likely is it to procure a woman of prime age between 24-27?
Unless you have a top 10% body (muscles, low body fat, very good hair) and a top 10% life style (includes both finances and activities) there are very few chances...the right country may help but surely not anywhere in a western country.

If you move to the 28-32 age range, the chances grow strongly while at 35+ you should make it if you are a decent man above average.
 

Reyaj

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Unless you have a top 10% body (muscles, low body fat, very good hair) and a top 10% life style (includes both finances and activities) there are very few chances...the right country may help but surely not anywhere in a western country.

If you move to the 28-32 age range, the chances grow strongly while at 35+ you should make it if you are a decent man above average.
Sounds about right...
 

GhostApe

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No, the 20 somethings will have the advantage. A good percentage of women on a swipe app will screen out the much older men. You're going to need to do in-person approaching when you can't get filtered out as easy. A woman in-person will need to process your cold approach if you can get her attention to make one.
Agreed - I'm in my thirties and I'm filtered out by most of the twentysomething chicks in my area, because it's a college town and they want "Chad."

In-person is doubly good because it shows you have social skills, calibration, confidence and have nothing to lose by approaching, as opposed to being the creepy lurkers online.

Plus, online dating in general is a crap shoot. Competition is stiffer because men outnumber women by a longshot and women are quick to categorize anyone older as being part of that contingent of creepy older men lying about their age and coming off too strong online. I had an FWB who showed me the kinds of trash available in her area, and it was nothing but greybeards and dudes with double chins and receding hairlines spewing weird chatter about their sex swings within 1-2 messages.

You're gonna get pigeonholed if you try that route past a certain age.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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