I was on a third date, we were at her place and she asked if I mind if she smokes, I said I don't care. We are kissing after and the taste is kind of gross. What do I say if or when It happens again? She only smokes 3 or 4 a day, she didn't smoke on the first two dates. I've dated light smokers before, they must have used mouthwash or something because I usually didn't notice.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Dating a girl who smokes
- Thread starter Willard
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
This is a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't even go out on a date with a girl if I knew she smoked. Don't expect her to stop. Maybe she will a few times around you but don't expect to change her long term. Probably best you decide if you can live with it or not and go from there.
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
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Personally, I never date women who smoke. Once I find out, I eject. Hazardous to your health and just the constant smell of cigarettes on them, in their house, in their mouth and breath, yellow teeth, faster aging...ugh. Not for me.
You don't do or say anything to her. You decide if you can live with all these negatives or not. Simple.
You don't do or say anything to her. You decide if you can live with all these negatives or not. Simple.
Zapp Brannigan
Senior Don Juan
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That's a definite deal breaker, and like altec said don't expect her to stop. Usually the women who are smoking have other bad habits, and don't care about the damage it causes.
The younger they are, the worse they tend to be. The ones who are smoking that were brought up with all the anti-smoking campigns that still chose to do it, are trouble. They're constantly chasing a thrill/high and won't stop. A lot of them can't, and end up addicted to cigarettes and alcohol by their early 20s. It's sad, but I know several women like this.
If she's into wilder habits like smoking, stay away. In general if the chick is wilder than you, you'll never be able to keep up.
The younger they are, the worse they tend to be. The ones who are smoking that were brought up with all the anti-smoking campigns that still chose to do it, are trouble. They're constantly chasing a thrill/high and won't stop. A lot of them can't, and end up addicted to cigarettes and alcohol by their early 20s. It's sad, but I know several women like this.
If she's into wilder habits like smoking, stay away. In general if the chick is wilder than you, you'll never be able to keep up.
Did you bang her yet Willard? She should hold off the smokes until the date is over. Tell her straight out you prefer that she doesn't smoke in your presence. You're the man, so set the rules to your liking. If she breaks them and does it anyway, drop her since she broke your rules. At least fvck her once since you put in the effort for the 3 dates.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Thanks guys for the advice, it's probably best to drop her.
I think I will take your advice, I didn't bang her yet, I'm pretty sure she is following the third date bang rule, she is counting the days, the first meeting she doesn't consider a date since I was hanging with her and her friends.MAYALL said:
Willard said:
Make this next date count for the lay. Never put up with sh1t from women you don't want to. Just tell them what you expect. If they can't follow simple rules, that's a woman you don't want around. Since she smokes, it will be a problem kissing her with smokers breath if you move any farther. Good luck man and bang her hard.
archon8692
Don Juan
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Blah...dealbreaker...kissing is HORRIBLE with girls who smoke.