I was on a third date, we were at her place and she asked if I mind if she smokes, I said I don't care. We are kissing after and the taste is kind of gross. What do I say if or when It happens again? She only smokes 3 or 4 a day, she didn't smoke on the first two dates. I've dated light smokers before, they must have used mouthwash or something because I usually didn't notice.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Dating a girl who smokes
- Thread starter Willard
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
This is a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't even go out on a date with a girl if I knew she smoked. Don't expect her to stop. Maybe she will a few times around you but don't expect to change her long term. Probably best you decide if you can live with it or not and go from there.
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
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Personally, I never date women who smoke. Once I find out, I eject. Hazardous to your health and just the constant smell of cigarettes on them, in their house, in their mouth and breath, yellow teeth, faster aging...ugh. Not for me.
You don't do or say anything to her. You decide if you can live with all these negatives or not. Simple.
You don't do or say anything to her. You decide if you can live with all these negatives or not. Simple.
Zapp Brannigan
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That's a definite deal breaker, and like altec said don't expect her to stop. Usually the women who are smoking have other bad habits, and don't care about the damage it causes.
The younger they are, the worse they tend to be. The ones who are smoking that were brought up with all the anti-smoking campigns that still chose to do it, are trouble. They're constantly chasing a thrill/high and won't stop. A lot of them can't, and end up addicted to cigarettes and alcohol by their early 20s. It's sad, but I know several women like this.
If she's into wilder habits like smoking, stay away. In general if the chick is wilder than you, you'll never be able to keep up.
The younger they are, the worse they tend to be. The ones who are smoking that were brought up with all the anti-smoking campigns that still chose to do it, are trouble. They're constantly chasing a thrill/high and won't stop. A lot of them can't, and end up addicted to cigarettes and alcohol by their early 20s. It's sad, but I know several women like this.
If she's into wilder habits like smoking, stay away. In general if the chick is wilder than you, you'll never be able to keep up.
Did you bang her yet Willard? She should hold off the smokes until the date is over. Tell her straight out you prefer that she doesn't smoke in your presence. You're the man, so set the rules to your liking. If she breaks them and does it anyway, drop her since she broke your rules. At least fvck her once since you put in the effort for the 3 dates.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Thanks guys for the advice, it's probably best to drop her.
I think I will take your advice, I didn't bang her yet, I'm pretty sure she is following the third date bang rule, she is counting the days, the first meeting she doesn't consider a date since I was hanging with her and her friends.MAYALL said:
Willard said:
Make this next date count for the lay. Never put up with sh1t from women you don't want to. Just tell them what you expect. If they can't follow simple rules, that's a woman you don't want around. Since she smokes, it will be a problem kissing her with smokers breath if you move any farther. Good luck man and bang her hard.
archon8692
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Blah...dealbreaker...kissing is HORRIBLE with girls who smoke.