I was on a third date, we were at her place and she asked if I mind if she smokes, I said I don't care. We are kissing after and the taste is kind of gross. What do I say if or when It happens again? She only smokes 3 or 4 a day, she didn't smoke on the first two dates. I've dated light smokers before, they must have used mouthwash or something because I usually didn't notice.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Dating a girl who smokes
- Thread starter Willard
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't even go out on a date with a girl if I knew she smoked. Don't expect her to stop. Maybe she will a few times around you but don't expect to change her long term. Probably best you decide if you can live with it or not and go from there.
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
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Personally, I never date women who smoke. Once I find out, I eject. Hazardous to your health and just the constant smell of cigarettes on them, in their house, in their mouth and breath, yellow teeth, faster aging...ugh. Not for me.
You don't do or say anything to her. You decide if you can live with all these negatives or not. Simple.
You don't do or say anything to her. You decide if you can live with all these negatives or not. Simple.
Zapp Brannigan
Senior Don Juan
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That's a definite deal breaker, and like altec said don't expect her to stop. Usually the women who are smoking have other bad habits, and don't care about the damage it causes.
The younger they are, the worse they tend to be. The ones who are smoking that were brought up with all the anti-smoking campigns that still chose to do it, are trouble. They're constantly chasing a thrill/high and won't stop. A lot of them can't, and end up addicted to cigarettes and alcohol by their early 20s. It's sad, but I know several women like this.
If she's into wilder habits like smoking, stay away. In general if the chick is wilder than you, you'll never be able to keep up.
The younger they are, the worse they tend to be. The ones who are smoking that were brought up with all the anti-smoking campigns that still chose to do it, are trouble. They're constantly chasing a thrill/high and won't stop. A lot of them can't, and end up addicted to cigarettes and alcohol by their early 20s. It's sad, but I know several women like this.
If she's into wilder habits like smoking, stay away. In general if the chick is wilder than you, you'll never be able to keep up.
Did you bang her yet Willard? She should hold off the smokes until the date is over. Tell her straight out you prefer that she doesn't smoke in your presence. You're the man, so set the rules to your liking. If she breaks them and does it anyway, drop her since she broke your rules. At least fvck her once since you put in the effort for the 3 dates.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Thanks guys for the advice, it's probably best to drop her.
I think I will take your advice, I didn't bang her yet, I'm pretty sure she is following the third date bang rule, she is counting the days, the first meeting she doesn't consider a date since I was hanging with her and her friends.MAYALL said:
Willard said:
Make this next date count for the lay. Never put up with sh1t from women you don't want to. Just tell them what you expect. If they can't follow simple rules, that's a woman you don't want around. Since she smokes, it will be a problem kissing her with smokers breath if you move any farther. Good luck man and bang her hard.
archon8692
Don Juan
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Blah...dealbreaker...kissing is HORRIBLE with girls who smoke.