"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Daily Journal for Cold Approaches

jakethasnake

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jwhite,


Sorry about the PM situation - I emptied out my inbox, but the muthafukka keep says it's "full" what a piece of shiet. Anyways, you can say whatever you wanted to say right here, or wait until I sort that bullshiznit out.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jakethasnake

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Alrite - try one more time, jwhite. :cool: Sorry for making you type twice.
 

hannibal82

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dude, it's awesome that you are getting out in the field, and I think your opener is just FINE. Yes, David D knows what he is talking about, and its an opener I've been meaning to field test.
It seems like alot of the closes are flaking though. Keep up the good work bro
 

Ladiesssman

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I usually start a conversation first and get her laughing and enjoying before I find out if she has a boyfriend. This makes the girl more at ease. After a moment of convo,

Me: Are you married?
(some girls ask me 'why would I be married? I'm only 20') with a smile
Her: No
Me: Engaged?
Her: Nope
Me: Do you have a bf? (or in a serious relationship?)
Her: No.. bla blah

I do this in a teasing way. I always smile when I use these lines. All girls seem to find it humorous. The reason, because they are young and I know they're not married, but I still ask the same questions.

I am no Mater Don Juan, but it's my way to find out and the girls feels comfortable answering me.


At other times in the conversation, the topic of nationality come come.

Me: What nationality are you?
Her: I'm French/Chinese/Japanese
Me: Is your BF French/Chinese/Japanese too?

She usually either cracks up or smiles.


I could do this. But I haven't come to the point of asking a lot of girls phone #. I guess to be a DJ you gota get #.
 

milkman

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Great work, dude, I think I´ll copy your "project"....

Originally posted by jwhite17
Approach 27 on July 31, 2003
... I asked if she was single, and I got a yes. So, I got her number, but she did ask me if I was doing this for a project. ...
Yes, I am on a project... it´s called my life...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ryanvalmont

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Just to add something,back 3 months ago when i was on holiday and my confidence/ego were sooooo high,i was able to approach girls for the first time in my life.

the rush of emotion you get after you approach a girl for the first time is something i don't think i've ever felt before.

My throat seized up and kinda felt like crying after doing something i'd always dreamed of doing and was sooo scared of doing.

Problem is,now 3 months on my ego and self esteme is the lowest i've had for awhile...and i've forgotten how to approach.

The fear of approach has come back and hit me hard again :(

But i think i'm gonna have to go a destroy these stupid fears i have as there all in my HEAD,there's no evidence these fears will come true.
 

BarryIRL

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Im also going to copy your project. Really good stuff.

You say you had short conversations with them. For how long and about what? Whats going on in the area and stuff?

Peace
 

S0LID

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Dam dude, your making me look so half assed. American girls are alot easier though! if I ever make it to uni i'll be pimping it like you dude.
 

djbr

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What is really great about jwhite17 is the way he does his approaches. I like the "are you single?" question. This alone should cut your flake rate a lot.

You're allowing them to:
1) be sincere. (she really has a boyfriend)
2) tell you to fvck off without saying it.

Both of them are great :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bloke

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*bump*

Just wondering mate, when you first the a "walk-by approach", do you first approach them when they've walked past you or are still in front of you?
 

selfmademob

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Originally posted by Bloke
*bump*

Just wondering mate, when you first the a "walk-by approach", do you first approach them when they've walked past you or are still in front of you?
good question
 

bbestar

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ive been reading these forums for a couple months, but

this is by far the best help ive ever had from any thread.

I like the way one of the posters said about intuition

Some girls are into fate and horoscopes..crap

so implying that this approach is by fate kinda saves face at the same time feels its inevitable for her.

" Excuse me"
--yes
" I noticed you while i was walking/sitting/ and I had this funny feeling that I needed to meet you

Again thank you jwhite, youve helped me look beyond the door
 

avrilishot

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damn dude I think you are the man for sure. I like the advice you give on here its really good, and you make it seem so easy that its possible. Thanks alot and hell yeah im going to try this.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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r4zor

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great post! very inspiring!

just a question, what would you say if the girl dont want give her number? i mean this can happen sometime... like for example in situations like this:

ME: what's your number?
SHE: i dont give numbers to strangers...

or

SHE: i dont have phone (denies)
 

mrblack

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as a very introverted figure myself, congratulations. this post still lives on. Simple in it's content, yet brilliantly inspirational because of the perseverance involved to help change your previous character background.
 

brocollie

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holy crap

Hey, really nice thread :) , and really nice questions, though i'd like to see those answered since im wondering myself also. And I really like the "are you married?" stuff :D

im gonna uuuseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it!

(hope u dont have copyright on it)..

r3sp3ct
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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