"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Daily Journal for Cold Approaches

jakethasnake

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jwhite,


Sorry about the PM situation - I emptied out my inbox, but the muthafukka keep says it's "full" what a piece of shiet. Anyways, you can say whatever you wanted to say right here, or wait until I sort that bullshiznit out.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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jakethasnake

Master Don Juan
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Alrite - try one more time, jwhite. :cool: Sorry for making you type twice.
 

hannibal82

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dude, it's awesome that you are getting out in the field, and I think your opener is just FINE. Yes, David D knows what he is talking about, and its an opener I've been meaning to field test.
It seems like alot of the closes are flaking though. Keep up the good work bro
 

Ladiesssman

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I usually start a conversation first and get her laughing and enjoying before I find out if she has a boyfriend. This makes the girl more at ease. After a moment of convo,

Me: Are you married?
(some girls ask me 'why would I be married? I'm only 20') with a smile
Her: No
Me: Engaged?
Her: Nope
Me: Do you have a bf? (or in a serious relationship?)
Her: No.. bla blah

I do this in a teasing way. I always smile when I use these lines. All girls seem to find it humorous. The reason, because they are young and I know they're not married, but I still ask the same questions.

I am no Mater Don Juan, but it's my way to find out and the girls feels comfortable answering me.


At other times in the conversation, the topic of nationality come come.

Me: What nationality are you?
Her: I'm French/Chinese/Japanese
Me: Is your BF French/Chinese/Japanese too?

She usually either cracks up or smiles.


I could do this. But I haven't come to the point of asking a lot of girls phone #. I guess to be a DJ you gota get #.
 

milkman

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Great work, dude, I think I´ll copy your "project"....

Originally posted by jwhite17
Approach 27 on July 31, 2003
... I asked if she was single, and I got a yes. So, I got her number, but she did ask me if I was doing this for a project. ...
Yes, I am on a project... it´s called my life...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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ryanvalmont

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Just to add something,back 3 months ago when i was on holiday and my confidence/ego were sooooo high,i was able to approach girls for the first time in my life.

the rush of emotion you get after you approach a girl for the first time is something i don't think i've ever felt before.

My throat seized up and kinda felt like crying after doing something i'd always dreamed of doing and was sooo scared of doing.

Problem is,now 3 months on my ego and self esteme is the lowest i've had for awhile...and i've forgotten how to approach.

The fear of approach has come back and hit me hard again :(

But i think i'm gonna have to go a destroy these stupid fears i have as there all in my HEAD,there's no evidence these fears will come true.
 

BarryIRL

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Im also going to copy your project. Really good stuff.

You say you had short conversations with them. For how long and about what? Whats going on in the area and stuff?

Peace
 

S0LID

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Dam dude, your making me look so half assed. American girls are alot easier though! if I ever make it to uni i'll be pimping it like you dude.
 

djbr

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What is really great about jwhite17 is the way he does his approaches. I like the "are you single?" question. This alone should cut your flake rate a lot.

You're allowing them to:
1) be sincere. (she really has a boyfriend)
2) tell you to fvck off without saying it.

Both of them are great :)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bloke

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Jun 21, 2005
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Down under...
*bump*

Just wondering mate, when you first the a "walk-by approach", do you first approach them when they've walked past you or are still in front of you?
 

selfmademob

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Originally posted by Bloke
*bump*

Just wondering mate, when you first the a "walk-by approach", do you first approach them when they've walked past you or are still in front of you?
good question
 

bbestar

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ive been reading these forums for a couple months, but

this is by far the best help ive ever had from any thread.

I like the way one of the posters said about intuition

Some girls are into fate and horoscopes..crap

so implying that this approach is by fate kinda saves face at the same time feels its inevitable for her.

" Excuse me"
--yes
" I noticed you while i was walking/sitting/ and I had this funny feeling that I needed to meet you

Again thank you jwhite, youve helped me look beyond the door
 

avrilishot

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damn dude I think you are the man for sure. I like the advice you give on here its really good, and you make it seem so easy that its possible. Thanks alot and hell yeah im going to try this.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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r4zor

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great post! very inspiring!

just a question, what would you say if the girl dont want give her number? i mean this can happen sometime... like for example in situations like this:

ME: what's your number?
SHE: i dont give numbers to strangers...

or

SHE: i dont have phone (denies)
 

mrblack

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as a very introverted figure myself, congratulations. this post still lives on. Simple in it's content, yet brilliantly inspirational because of the perseverance involved to help change your previous character background.
 

brocollie

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holy crap

Hey, really nice thread :) , and really nice questions, though i'd like to see those answered since im wondering myself also. And I really like the "are you married?" stuff :D

im gonna uuuseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it!

(hope u dont have copyright on it)..

r3sp3ct
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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