Daily Journal for Cold Approaches

[Walden]

hehe I have a jar on my desk that's slowly filling up with those things.

 

[Wong Fei Hung]

jwhite17, that's a good idea. I recently visited NYC and the girls are so difficult in giving out phone numbers. I got all kind of excuses.

I always put a few clean white napkins in my pocket. So far, I got 76 phone numbers, 273 rejections, 1 cell phone, and 24 emails.

 

[JJ Cool L]

Can you tell me what you say when approach all these girls?

I'm guessing it goes like this.

You approach them, wait until she looks at you and then you say, "hi, how are you?"

She says, "fine, u?"

and you say, "fine thanks, oh my name's ____ what's your name?"

she says her name and then you shake hands and then start some small talk. Is that how it goes?

I need a detailed explanation because delivery is important right?

 

[jwhite17]

JJ Cool L said,
Can you tell me what you say when approach all these girls?

I will sum up what I do in a paragraph.

I walk around the campus, library, mall, bookstore, etc, but mostly on campus(most chicks!). Then I see a girl that I'm attracted to, ask, "Can I ask you a quick question? She says, "Yea", I then reply with "Are you single?" If she says "yes" then I say "Listen, I got to go, but I would really like to meet you sometime, what's your number" if she says "no" then I say "ok, have a good day" and leave.

This isn't rocket science. You don't need to have a conversation with a girl to get her number(you can if you want) but to set up a date you need to talk to her over the phone, so she has some idea of the guy you are like.

I'm thinking about making another cold approach journal or just continue with this one. Do you guys want to see this journal or another journal continued this Monday?
JW

 

[Mav]

Originally posted by jwhite17
JJ Cool L said,
Can you tell me what you say when approach all these girls?

I walk around the campus, library, mall, bookstore, etc, but mostly on campus(most chicks!). Then I see a girl that I'm attracted to, ask, "Can I ask you a quick question? She says, "Yea", I then reply with "Are you single?" If she says "yes" then I say "Listen, I got to go, but I would really like to meet you sometime, what's your number" if she says "no" then I say "ok, have a good day" and leave.

Great thread. One tip though; I'd drop the "are you single" part and replace it with something else.

Find the hottest woman you can find, a high 9 or a 10 (think model or actress) and ask her the three questions guys ask her all day long.

She'll tell you;

• Do you have a boyfriend?
• Are you single?
• Can I take you out sometime?

I've made it a rule now to never ask a woman these questions.

Mav

 

[Vigilante7]

Stop fuking asking if their single or not !!!!! EVERY GIRL IS TAKEN !!!!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Jwhite -- your approach seems to be short and too simple - you should add more flavor to it...

I'm going to give you the ultimate cold approach that is infallible, unless she is just not interested at all.

You can thank me later once you used it at least 5 times!!

Here it is..........................

if you see a girl walking by you can say...

i will regret it later if i let you walk by me and I did not acknowledge your presence - i most likely will not see you again - would it be terribly impolite to ask for your name and phone number

if she doesnt want to give you her phone number then just dismiss yourself politely by saying

"have a pleasant day and excuse my abrupt behavior but God designed us guys to do some crazy things" and then smile politely and walk away with your head high feeling like a man and proud that u have done your duty.

if she say yes i will give u my number (don't act startled - u deserved it) - then tell her "let me accomodate you with the means of transcription:...

then go through your pockets smoothly and not excitedly searching for the pen - dont find it too easily then it seems as though this was all planned and plotted as if u do it all the time and as if it was not an impromtu act - take a few seconds - and then have her write her number herself on a receipt or other paper that is not blank - again u dont want to make this looked planned - do not give her a lttle black book with other numbers in it - dont be arrogant be polite - then ask her "what would be the best time to reach you? " wait 2 or 3 days before u call - dont seem too eager

dismiss yourself with pleasantries - "have a pleasant day"

p.s. - dont forget to give her your name after she gives you hers.
also - if she is not walking by you then obviously u would have to use a different opening - such as, "i will regret it later if i left this place without acknowledging your presence...

hope this helps - let me know if it works for u - and of course make adjustments as u see fit and for what the situation allows. Use lwords you are comfortable with.

good skill!!

 

[jwhite17]

Mav said,
I've made it a rule now to never ask a woman these questions

Well, maybe for you it doesn't work as much as you would like, but I can get the number everytime(assumming she lives near CU) is she is single and get a date from at least 1/3 of them.

If you would look at the first page of this thread, you would see that I have a preference for single girls only.

PuertoRican_Lover,
I like you opener for a cold approach, but I will have to make some adjustments to make it seem more like me(because I don't talk like that). I got an idea! I can do a comparison between your opener and my opener and see which one is more successful. This seems like a science project to me.

I'll post tommorrow.
JW

 

[Mikelo2k]

PROPS

Great Stuff jwhite!!! Really inspiring.

This must be the best field report i've ever read Too bad u stopped



Mikelo2k

P.S - Post a picture of your current girlfriend already!?

 

[jwhite17]

Hello again guys!

Mikelo2k said,
This must be the best field report i've ever read Too bad u stopped

Thanks for the props, but I don't deserve it. All I'm doing is approaching chicks, getting numbers, going on dates, etc. I have to approach chicks cold because that is the only way I will get the chicks I want! And besides, it is fun to do because you are conquering your fear and opening up a part of your life that has been closed for so long. I feel so alive when I do this!

P.S - Post a picture of your current girlfriend already!?

Ahem, ex- GF as of now and forever....http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=34241&perpage=20&pagenumber=5

Since it is over between us(maybe I will be friends with her), I have decided to start up my cold approach journal again.

My technique has been used by someone else on the forum, and he hasn't had nearly the success I've gotten with it.

You can read about it here: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38839&perpage=20&pagenumber=1

Approach 31 on December 15, 2003

I was studying for my Accounting and Math Final(don't worry, I'm getting straight A's!) when I saw a blonde HB8 studying with her friend a couple of tables away. I glanced over at her a couple of times, and I know she caught me looking at her.

That didn't faze me because I was going to approach her. I couldn't go up to her and start talking like that because other people where studying for their finals, and I respect these strangers. I was thinking of a way to approach
her while her friend was sitting their, then it HIT me!

I remembered reading something on sosuave, a Mr. Fingers post, Shattering the Limits, and he said that he wrote a note to Ms. Bonita to go out with him and IT WAS SUCCESSFUL! I did a variation of this to my own personal style, I took a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote her a little note telling her
that "I would like to go out with you for some coffee" and if a "yes" send a response to [email protected] and if a "no" don't waste my time and play games with me. Well, turns out she didn't email me. Oh well! At least I tried.

Party on December 31, 2003

My roommates and I threw a party to celebrate the new year. The place was packed, and the drunk people were acting like idiots(which is why I don't drink to get drunk! And I rarely drink). I invited all my friends(male and female), and I acted like the host(thanks MOTU) and talked to almost every person their. I would be talking to a girl, and some of my friends(and some new people I met) would just start talking to me, and it gave me great social proof. It seemed like I have 100's of friends(which I don't).

At then end of the night, I exchanged numbers with this Asian chick(Woohoo! First Asian ever). And guess what, she called me two days later and asked me out ! We go on a little date to a nice little restaurant, and she paid(I offered of course)! I was like sweeettt, free meal, you can take me out anytime you want! But that bad thing is, she goes to school in Oregon, but lives in Boulder. I decided to just be friends with her. Bring on the next girl!

Approach 32 on January 14, 2004

I saw a cute blonde HB8 sitting on a bench outside the library(Don't worry I study!), and I'm with my friend. He doesn't believe I can approach random chicks. I didn't bet him anything; I just wanted to show him that I'm not imitimidated by anyone(espesically girls!). I walked straight up to her and found out she wasn't single, so I tried to back out of their, but she wanted to talk to me! I talk to her for a few minutes then I wish her a good day and leave.

Approach 33 on January 14, 2004

A little later in the day, and almost in the same exact spot as the last girl, I see another blonde(geezus, what's the deal with me and blondes). I approach her and find out all I need to know, and I try to bail out again. But, these damn chicks won't let me leave, they still want to talk. I chit chat with her and then leave.

Approach 34 on January 15, 2004

I'm about to go to lunch, and I see this hot brunette studying in a chair. I figured I should wait until she leaves before I make a move. I go on a computer next to the tables and wait a couple of minutes. Then I see her starting to put her stuff away. I thought to myself, "Well, it is now or never, let's have some fun!!" I go up to her, find out she is single, and get her name and number in about 10 seconds.

 

[Viodo]

Wow..this whole thread is amazing..it actually inspired me to me to post for the first time, I just have to say jwhite, you're posts are alot of help in overcoming the absurd and useless overexaggerations of how I might get rejected and shows how simple it is..

Thanks for this reality-check, and keep the approaches coming!

 

[jwhite17]

Approach 35 on Jan 16, 2004

I talked to some of my friends(that are girls), and I got bored and gazed over at this brown/black hair exotic looking beauty. At the time I was sitting down in the Food Court, and I told them I'm going to leave and go approach her. She looked up something on the computer and then I just walked up to her. No fear. No emotion. Desireless, sums up how I came across. She seemed a bit taken by my forwardness, but I still left with the number.

 

[Infinity]

Originally posted by jwhite17
Approach 35 on Jan 16, 2004

I talked to some of my friends(that are girls), and I got bored and gazed over at this brown/black hair exotic looking beauty. At the time I was sitting down in the Food Court, and I told them I'm going to leave and go approach her. She looked up something on the computer and then I just walked up to her. No fear. No emotion. Desireless, sums up how I came across. She seemed a bit taken by my forwardness, but I still left with the number.

Are you shytting me? I know we talked on PM and I believe in your approach, but this seems a bit simple. Can you go through how the conversation went? Did you use the "Are you single?" approach? Did you bother to build any rapport whatsoever??

 

[jwhite17]

Infinity said,
Are you shytting me? I know we talked on PM and I believe in your approach, but this seems a bit simple. Can you go through how the conversation went? Did you use the "Are you single?" approach? Did you bother to build any rapport whatsoever??

Short answer(to first Q): No

Long answer: This is a big misconception on this board; you don't need rapport to get a NUMBER. It isn't hard to get a girl to give you her number if she is attracted to you. Yes, I did use the "Are you single" approach because that is my style and it works for ME. I actually practice spontanious openers on different chicks(ex. in a line for food) and can get a convo going and possibly a number if I wanted, but I choose not to because I'm not attracted to them as much as I want(high standards!). I think of the number as a step leading up to a date and so on.

I know it is hard to believe, but it is definitely possible for anyone on this board(if she is attracted to that person). Also, I do establish a nice rapport with the girls once I get them on the phone and talk to them.

Sometimes I actually have a short convo with a girl(if I have plenty of time), but usually I don't because I got other things to do(study, classes, lifting, eating, reading, painting, etc.), so I don't want to stand their vomiting my emotions on a chick and then get her number(I have better things to do).

I remember over last summer; I stopped a HB8 chick walking by and got her number like in 20 seconds. Called her up, talked to her about herself with bits of pieces about me, and set up a coffee date with her a few days later. NO rapport on the first encounter(except names I guess), NO signals(eye contact, body language, etc) for me to approach, I gazed over at this beauty, and I decided I wanted to meet this woman, so I took action and walked straight up to her and got what I dream about!

This isn't studying to be a surgeon, it is as Pook always says to "embrace our nature as a MAN." Nature is complex but approaching women and getting a number are SIMPLE.

JW

 

[Porky]

PuertoRican, do you actually say some of these things you tell other people to say?

 

[THA REALNESS]

You shouldn't ask them if they are single half the time you can't tell and you won't ever really know. Girls keep guy rosters.

I like they way you approach ,you bail when your not feeling them ,you approach for practice ,you approach every chic you feel.

 

[THA REALNESS]

Hey jwhite,do you notice that most of the better looking ones are more receptive to your advances? While the ones that are not so hot get all b1tchy ...

 

[jwhite17]

Hey jwhite,do you notice that most of the better looking ones are more receptive to your advances? While the ones that are not so hot get all b1tchy ...

YES!!! Isn't it ironic how we come in we pre- conceived notions that the hot chicks get approached all the time and reject guys left and right, but so far, the hot ones have been some of the nicest and most receptive girls I have encountered.

Not all the "not so hot" ones are *****y though, some can be nice and some can be cold. Surprisingly, the hotter ones usually want to have a conversation with me.

 

[Don Ronny]

Originally posted by jwhite17

I was studying for my Accounting and Math Final(don't worry, I'm getting straight A's!) when I saw a blonde HB8 studying with her friend a couple of tables away. I glanced over at her a couple of times, and I know she caught me looking at her.

That didn't faze me because I was going to approach her. I couldn't go up to her and start talking like that because other people where studying for their finals, and I respect these strangers. I was thinking of a way to approach
her while her friend was sitting their, then it HIT me!

I remembered reading something on sosuave, a Mr. Fingers post, Shattering the Limits, and he said that he wrote a note to Ms. Bonita to go out with him and IT WAS SUCCESSFUL! I did a variation of this to my own personal style, I took a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote her a little note telling her
that "I would like to go out with you for some coffee" and if a "yes" send a response to [email protected] and if a "no" don't waste my time and play games with me. Well, turns out she didn't email me. Oh well! At least I tried.

The difference is that Fingz demonstrated value before he gave her that note. He was confident, funny, etc so the note packed more of a punch. You are doing great on these cold approaches but I sense you are not showing enough value (other than having a large set of balls)

I also see that you are letting groups mess you up. The way to get past this is to learn to address more than one person at a time, tell a quick story, get an opinion on something, whatever. Make eye contact with everyone EXCEPT for the target. Win over her friends and then move in for the kill.

Work on demonstrating more value before getting the number and I think you will be more successful. Great work so far. Keep it up!

 

[THA REALNESS]

Originally posted by jwhite17
Hey jwhite,do you notice that most of the better looking ones are more receptive to your advances? While the ones that are not so hot get all b1tchy ...

YES!!! Isn't it ironic how we come in we pre- conceived notions that the hot chicks get approached all the time and reject guys left and right, but so far, the hot ones have been some of the nicest and most receptive girls I have encountered.

That 's what i've experienced also.The ones i've asked have told me that usually it's because either A) the guy is also attractive B)they are flattered or in a good mood.

My gut tells me it's a combination of those things AND that they are more experienced with approaches than the average looking chic .