The LTR Questionnaire:
Keep meeting women until you find one who answers all these points to your satisfaction.
Is she available to commit to a relationship with me?
Do I love her for who she is right now, who she is today?
Does she blame her ex, kids, other people, or circumstances for her life situation?
Is this what I really want?
Am I afraid to be alone?
Does she talk too much (especially about herself) and tend to monopolize the conversation?
Does she appear to be poor listener?
Do I find myself wanting to “help” or rescue this divorced or divorcing woman because I see her potential?
Is she emotionally distant?
What kind of effort does she make to really connect?
Does she walk her talk? Does what she says about herself appear to match reality?
What am I most attracted to about her?
Do I find myself focusing on one important quality (sex, fun, humor, money, etc), while ignoring unmet relationship requirements?
Do we share values?
Is she pessimistic or negative about things that matter to me?
Does she appear to still be pining for her ex or another past relationship?
What do this woman and I have in common?
What are the glaring differences between me and my partner?
Am I avoiding looking at the differences, because of the important things that we have in common?
Does she appear to accept feedback, take responsibility, and be willing to self-examine?
Is she honest in dealing with people, money, etc?
Does she appear to lack integrity?
Am I trying to change this woman to fit what I want, instead of accepting her for who she is?
Does it feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster, and that there is regular and recurring emotional drama in this relationship?
Does this woman tend to react to frustration with anger, rage and/or blame?
Does she try to control everything (including me)?
Would I want this woman to raise my child?
Is this woman looking to me to make her life better (especially if her life is particularly problematic?)
How is her attitude?
Does she appear to be overly judgmental toward herself or other people?
Does she have an active addition (or addictive disposition)?
If she has an addiction or addictive disposition, does she rationalize it as “not a problem”?
Can I depend on this woman to keep agreements?
Does this woman tend to be immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible?
Would I want my child to be exactly like my partner?