Cringe Lunch or personal Social Experiment?

[corrector]

Saw the lady again sitting next to the Tyrone. However, this time waa different. My heart was more towards the OF-girl most of the day (sent a long message yesterday). There was no upset like before. Even approached the lady to say hi (she did say hi back and sounded positive). The lunch was over so I had to tell her I was going to work. I did not do that the first time when I was fuming. I guess I have just resigned to the fate. I dont feel motivated to sit next to her as I dont see the purpose in doing so. I just had to make sure I went up to her and said hi rather than just leave. Just to feel I did not feel bad to not do that. I sent out a long email to that other OF girl and I just dont care too much here. The only way to beat a crush is sometimes to have another crush.

 

[Rainrain]

Show us a picture of how you look like

 

[corrector]

Show us a picture of how you look like

I was rated a 3/10 on photoreeler a few years ago. I'm not conventionally handsome or have the looks.

My experience on here seems to reflect the brutal type of sub-5 reality.

I have a different personality and constitution compared to the other guy. It's not a simple matter of looks.

The other guy is clearly a true extrovert and is built to be social in his own right. With me it's something that's more forced and constipated.
That's also probably because of the "looks". If I had more lifetime social opportunities with women, particularly when I was younger, then I don't think it would be that bad today.

Either way, if you take @Desdinova advice to heart, then I would have to actually not care about that lady since I can not satisfy her, even on a social capacity. Even if she is alone I wouldn't want to sit beside her and would sit at another table. Whether another guy is more comfortable or open with is beside her or not doesn't make a difference in that regard.

Anyway, part of the process is managing things so that the office experience is not as brutal.

Just because I got amogged doesn't mean I can't have interaction with her or might even enjoy the interaction in its own right. She may even be guilted into being nicer to me than usual. There are times I've been amogged and the girl won't notice me at all to have any type of interaction with her at all. So, at least it's better than nothing. I also did sit beside her on two occasions so it does not feel as bad as before. This was easier to bear than the last time. If I had the confidence to approach then it means there must be some connection with her that overrided even the amogged thing.

Therefore, at least I think, even by being cordial with the girl, is probably helpful, depite being amogged (ie at least socially).

 

[Rainrain]

Are you facially disfigured? Are you handicapped?

 

[corrector]

Are you facially disfigured? Are you handicapped?

I am not facially disfigured or handicapped, nor have I ever represented that I am.

There might be a general insecurity about my looks, but it's relative to the hyper-competitive dating market and hypergamy rather than objectively looking ugly or abnormal. If I went to the Phillipeans or a different place altogether / Geo-Maxxed then I'd probably have way better traction then I do here and meet more "normal" looking women as well.

I'm sure none of @Hamurabimbi or @Gamisch incel friends meet that profile either.

@needimprovement250 you want to weigh in on the futher updates with this thread?

 

[Rainrain]

have you been diagnosed with autism or Asperger’s? Are you like the guys from 90 day fiancé?

sorry, I just find this behaviour odd

 

[PlatoPacks23]

I was rated a 3/10 on photoreeler a few years ago. I'm not conventionally handsome or have the looks.

My experience on here seems to reflect the brutal type of sub-5 reality.

I have a different personality and constitution compared to the other guy. It's not a simple matter of looks.

The other guy is clearly a true extrovert and is built to be social in his own right. With me it's something that's more forced and constipated.
That's also probably because of the "looks". If I had more lifetime social opportunities with women, particularly when I was younger, then I don't think it would be that bad today.

Either way, if you take @Desdinova advice to heart, then I would have to actually not care about that lady since I can not satisfy her, even on a social capacity. Even if she is alone I wouldn't want to sit beside her and would sit at another table. Whether another guy is more comfortable or open with is beside her or not doesn't make a difference in that regard.

Anyway, part of the process is managing things so that the office experience is not as brutal.

Just because I got amogged doesn't mean I can't have interaction with her or might even enjoy the interaction in its own right. She may even be guilted into being nicer to me than usual. There are times I've been amogged and the girl won't notice me at all to have any type of interaction with her at all. So, at least it's better than nothing. I also did sit beside her on two occasions so it does not feel as bad as before. This was easier to bear than the last time. If I had the confidence to approach then it means there must be some connection with her that overrided even the amogged thing.

Therefore, at least I think, even by being cordial with the girl, is probably helpful, depite being amogged (ie at least socially).

in the time it took you to write this, you could have done 5 push ups

 

[corrector]

have you been diagnosed with autism or Asperger’s? Are you like the guys from 90 day fiancé?

sorry, I just find this behaviour odd

No. 90 Day Fiance has been noted as a new TV-show that is running 10 seasons, Released January 12, 2014, it's current only access is TVOD on Apple-TV (a service I'm not really into except occasionally, and for SVOD content rather than TVOD). I have never watched 90 Day Fiance.

The behaviour is not odd....oneitis or crushes causes any guy to behave a bit out of character. That is why "oneitises" rarely work out. You never put up your best face with a crush and tend to pull out all of the cards too fast.

I'm sure most people on here are not dealing with crushes.

 

[corrector]

in the time it took you to write this, you could have done 5 push ups

Thank you...at least you believe I can improve my appearance by gymmaxxing....in case we are forgetting to address the Elephant in the Room.

 

[corrector]

Maybe I should buy a bottle of pheromones, spray some on, and next time I sit next to her (ie or someone else in the office)...watch it work it's magic charm, lol! That would have been me back in 2011. However, a sobering thing happened in 2014 (don't want to bring that up again) that I stopped using it after December, 2014. An environment like that is one of those classic examples that if you want to try some crazy, and off the wall thing like that, it might not be a bad idea.

 

[Rainrain]

View attachment 12342


No. 90 Day Fiance has been noted as a new TV-show that is running 10 seasons, Released January 12, 2014, it's current only access is TVOD on Apple-TV (a service I'm not really into except occasionally, and for SVOD content rather than TVOD). I have never watched 90 Day Fiance.

The behaviour is not odd....oneitis or crushes causes any guy to behave a bit out of character. That is why "oneitises" rarely work out. You never put up your best face with a crush and tend to pull out all of the cards too fast.

I'm sure most people on here are not dealing with crushes.

what do you do for fun? Have you don’t any progress since you been here? It seems like you are a long time member

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

​

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Thank you...at least you believe I can improve my appearance by gymmaxxing....in case we are forgetting to address the Elephant in the Room.

it's not about gym maxing, it's about not being an idiot and doing something productive.

you piss me off.

 

[corrector]

I would definitely just back off now. Be polite if you encounter her, but mind your own business around her. Sit by yourself and read or tablet-max.

Actually bumping up this reply. I have gone through some new lengths to tablet-maxx, this includes a playlist of nice/hot women talking about important subjects ranging from news to other things, including religious, on top of endless streaming/downloaded options.

In fact, saw her today sitting alone in the cafeteria and I played some cool videos of this lady (Christina Randall youtube channel) talking while eating lunch. Did not approach her and just walked out. The videos were a satisfying enough experience with me. I was watching an Orville episode before she walked in the place, then I swapped it to a lady's vlog/rant instead. Videos do not judge you or expect you to perform. You can just relax, be yourself, hit play and enjoy a nice soothing voice and company of a hot woman through a screen. Why feel bad approaching a girl if you know you suck? Fvck all that and Tablet-maxx.

Have also a curated playlist of some off the wall shocking music videos, where I might play a couple of them if htere is a more triggering moment.

I now sit on a table, there are two tables like this, it's a isolated table where nobody can come around me, and I'm facing away so nobody can see what content is playing on my tablet.

 

[Desdinova]

Are you facially disfigured? Are you handicapped?

No, he's just socially retarded.

The other guy is clearly a true extrovert and is built to be social in his own right. With me it's something that's more forced and constipated.

This is why you have to do it more. The more you do it, the less forced it will be and the more natural you become. You should be out at least every second day trying to make conversation with strangers. You should be learning to observe your surroundings for things you can talk to somebody about. Your main goal should be to repair your social retardedness and become a walking conversation machine.

I was just as socially retarded as you. There used to be absolutely no way that I would start a conversation with an absolute stranger. I would always wait for the other person to start it, and most times that would never happen. I intentionally put myself into a fast food job with high employee turnover and made it my goal to be the first person to reach out to new workers and make them feel more comfortable on the job, let alone deal with customers. I went out during the day and made it a goal to start conversations with strangers and pretty girls. It took years, but I finally became the social butterfly most men would only wish to become. My GF believes I was always a social butterfly. That's how natural it comes to me. She doesn't know how much hard work I put into becoming a social person.

In fact, saw her today sitting alone in the cafeteria and I played some cool videos of this lady (Christina Randall youtube channel) talking while eating lunch. Did not approach her and just walked out. The videos were a satisfying enough experience with me. I was watching an Orville episode before she walked in the place, then I swapped it to a lady's vlog/rant instead. Videos do not judge you or expect you to perform. You can just relax, be yourself, hit play and enjoy a nice soothing voice and company of a hot woman through a screen. Why feel bad approaching a girl if you know you suck? Fvck all that and Tablet-maxx.

WTF....

You have some free time. Instead of wasting it on some fvcking wet dream, why don't you work on your crappy social skills? One of the best books I've read for conversing with strangers was, believe it or not, Mystery Method. The chapter on conversation alone is worth the price of the book. You should also pick up How To Win Friends and Influence People. Then make yourself some goals for approaching and talking to strangers.

If you're just going to write posts about watching hot women in videos, there really isn't any purpose for you to be on this site. You can vent about how your not getting laid on Facebook to the average joe and they can virtually pat you on the head and tell you that any girl should want you because you're a nice guy.

The other men on this forum WANT you to succeed. Instead, you are wasting their time by writing about how you DON'T want to succeed.

 

[corrector]

You have some free time. Instead of wasting it on some fvcking wet dream, why don't you work on your crappy social skills? One of the best books I've read for conversing with strangers was, believe it or not, Mystery Method. The chapter on conversation alone is worth the price of the book. You should also pick up How To Win Friends and Influence People. Then make yourself some goals for approaching and talking to strangers.

About 6 minutes was spent on that video. It was put on at the time the girl walked into the cafeteria and sat down. It was not played before. It ended when my actual lunch break was over.

If you're just going to write posts about watching hot women in videos, there really isn't any purpose for you to be on this site. You can vent about how your not getting laid on Facebook to the average joe and they can virtually pat you on the head and tell you that any girl should want you because you're a nice guy.

The other men on this forum WANT you to succeed. Instead, you are wasting their time by writing about how you DON'T want to succeed.

That was a single reply/post made from a suggesiton @Mike32ct wrote. You even said the girl was done and have not provided any positive feedback concerning that workspace. I thought the outcome was too brutal to have an appetite to continue poisoning the waters at the place. If one lunch was enough to poison everything off because I'm socially retarted then you tell me why would I want to continue damaging my social reputation at that workplace any further?

 

[Mike32ct]

I also agreed that it was done/over with this chick. I just meant to mind your own business as far she goes. And you’ve done that. The specifics of what you watch on your tablet are neither here nor there.

If there is someone else at work you know or work with, you could also make some small talk with them instead. Even if it’s a guy that you get along with. If not, the tablet is your default.

My lunch room at work is largely empty because of remote work. I usually chat with my female friend, or my guy friend depending on who is in that day. Otherwise I’m on my phone.

 

[corrector]

I also agreed that it was done/over with this chick. I just meant to mind your own business as far she goes. And you’ve done that. The specifics of what you watch on your tablet are neither here nor there.

If there is someone else at work you know or work with, you could also make some small talk with them instead. Even if it’s a guy that you get along with. If not, the tablet is your default.

My lunch room at work is largely empty because of remote work. I usually chat with my female friend, or my guy friend depending on who is in that day. Otherwise I’m on my phone.

Of course, I'm always making small talk with other women at work. I even send hug emojis out on zoom occasionally on zoom chat.

There is a great rapport with a number of ladies at work. However, I don't have a crush on them.

 

[Desdinova]

You even said the girl was done and have not provided any positive feedback concerning that workspace. I thought the outcome was too brutal to have an appetite to continue poisoning the waters at the place. If one lunch was enough to poison everything off because I'm socially retarted then you tell me why would I want to continue damaging my social reputation at that workplace any further?

Okay, since you don't want to damage your "social reputation" at work anymore, what have you done to improve your social interactions outside of work?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Baby steps...you must first learn to crawl before you can walk and walk before you can run.

Remember you will fall down many times trying to get up to walk, just like a baby does.

And just like a baby doesn't let it deter him from trying again, neither should you.

Imagine if babies were like so many men who just gave up after they fell down a few times after they tried to stand up and never bothered trying again?

Now next time actually have a conversation with the woman when you sit down next to her.