"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Continue the Sentence using 3 words....

Wiesman44

Master Don Juan
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Okay guys, I put the sentences together. You guys are fu#king awesome. This is freaking hilarious. here it is in full so far:

I am a midget in search of sex with a giant derekeffect puppet made of
dildos which had sh1t on them so I sucked 'em 'til I had man milk
and one day I became a c*m drinking ***** that works for the condom factory so I can fist fuk your ass really easily without any lube But I Prefer... Playing my Xbox
then sodomizing your afc little punk brain with my notoriously humungous extravagant Dinosaur Bone Collection that i use to make fun (of) people with smaller
Knowledge in supercalifragilisticexpialidocious also known as Mastery of cybersex.

I've also mastered wearing womens underwear and a strap-on On my forehead So i can make money as a squid impersonator but I want a tongue job because masculine transvestites are hott and My d!ck loves Mr Uniques mouth almost as much as Vegasguy56's sweaty forehead Knowing that I munch on ass while tongue fvcking the Olsen twins but only because they have herpes transmitted from AC/DC and are addicted To The Shezz who has syphilis because he had sucked someones d1ck yes, MrS's D1ck and his nipples are very hairy even hairier than sasquatch. Then I messed around with a gay midget and my balls are like the only people that understand me and i want to suck on a crusty, puss-infected kanker sore that tastes like Penkitten's sweet and wet large rectangular jubblies that gio boasts while talking to his grandmother about erectile dysfunction and the time he won 1.000.000$ and died of aids - band-aids - that were drenched in semen
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Taviii

Master Don Juan
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Yeah the ideea is great. Also the "say something about the person above you" threads are also hilarious so I'm going to start one right now :D
 

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
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the trunk. I'd sell
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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comic_relief

Master Don Juan
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with your big
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

flippinfreak

Master Don Juan
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Canada
and tiny shrimp
 

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
Joined
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bump.

. Comic_relief was there

comic_relief
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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comic_relief

Master Don Juan
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Location
Baltimore, MD
Y Chromosome that gave

comic_relief
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

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