"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Confused

TypeR

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Hi there. Ive had numerous accounts on here, but keep forgetting login details etc.

Anyway, Im confused about what happened in this situation, and was wondering if anyone could shine some light. I will try to keep this brief.


Introduced to a girl by a friend. We started hitting off with each other, meeting up. I kept texts and things to a minimum, ensured we saw each other in person more than "false communication".
On numerous occassions she displayed unwanted behaviour or views, so I took a step back and told her I was unhappy etc. She would eventually apologise and change somewhat.
Sex never happened, and if we were ever out with friends (large group of her friends, large group of mine etc) she would show NO affection towards me whatsoever. So again, id tell her my views opinions on her actions etc.

To cut the story short, we stopped seeing each other unofficially. Communication ceased etc. Then out of the blue she was suddenly in a relationship with another man. To this day she remains adamant that she never "cheated", but that we simply fell apart, and that she and this new man simply grew closer.

Ive accepted this and moved, getting back into the game. But she occassionally messages me over facebook, saying things like

"Im sorry this happened. It was selfish of me."
"Ill ALWAYS have a soft spot for you"
I reply to the messages, but simply as a friend.

But Im baffled as to why this situation even occurred. She described me as the "Most amazing person shes ever met" and still does in some cases. So what went wrong?

Im not asking for views and opinions in the hope of "Winning her back" as such. That part of my life is done.. over with. Moved on.
But it sometimes bugs me. I cant see anything wrong with the way I acted, so the only reasoning I can see is a character flaw on her behalf?

What are your views guys??
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SamTheHobit

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It seems women like to f**k with our mind and emotions.
 

TypeR

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Could it not also be an indicator and first hand experience that DJ techniques dont necesarilly work on ALL women?

From what I can gather from recent conversation with my ex, shes going out every day somewhere "Nice".. a waterfall or somewhere for example. And it also sounds like her new BF might be somewhat of an AFC. Very Cuddly with her, talks to her 24/7 etc
 

Iceberg

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TypeR said:
But Im baffled as to why this situation even occurred. She described me as the "Most amazing person shes ever met" and still does in some cases. So what went wrong?
You can't judge a woman by her words. Never. That's just a rule to live by.

[QUOTE}I cant see anything wrong with the way I acted, so the only reasoning I can see is a character flaw on her behalf?[/QUOTE]

Most likely, yeah. But who knows. You'd have an easier time drinking the ocean than figuring out what goes through a girl's mind.

TypeR said:
Could it not also be an indicator and first hand experience that DJ techniques dont necesarilly work on ALL women?
Well you're dealing with humans. It's never as simple as 2+2=4. There are always variables.

From what I can gather from recent conversation with my ex, shes going out every day somewhere "Nice".. a waterfall or somewhere for example. And it also sounds like her new BF might be somewhat of an AFC. Very Cuddly with her, talks to her 24/7 etc
Maybe he's an AFC. Maybe she's using him. Who the hell knows. Whatever.
 

TypeR

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Thats the sort of answer I was after.

And the best bit about it?


The "Whatever"
Ill just carry on with my game. Thanks dude :)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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