"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Confused

TypeR

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Hi there. Ive had numerous accounts on here, but keep forgetting login details etc.

Anyway, Im confused about what happened in this situation, and was wondering if anyone could shine some light. I will try to keep this brief.


Introduced to a girl by a friend. We started hitting off with each other, meeting up. I kept texts and things to a minimum, ensured we saw each other in person more than "false communication".
On numerous occassions she displayed unwanted behaviour or views, so I took a step back and told her I was unhappy etc. She would eventually apologise and change somewhat.
Sex never happened, and if we were ever out with friends (large group of her friends, large group of mine etc) she would show NO affection towards me whatsoever. So again, id tell her my views opinions on her actions etc.

To cut the story short, we stopped seeing each other unofficially. Communication ceased etc. Then out of the blue she was suddenly in a relationship with another man. To this day she remains adamant that she never "cheated", but that we simply fell apart, and that she and this new man simply grew closer.

Ive accepted this and moved, getting back into the game. But she occassionally messages me over facebook, saying things like

"Im sorry this happened. It was selfish of me."
"Ill ALWAYS have a soft spot for you"
I reply to the messages, but simply as a friend.

But Im baffled as to why this situation even occurred. She described me as the "Most amazing person shes ever met" and still does in some cases. So what went wrong?

Im not asking for views and opinions in the hope of "Winning her back" as such. That part of my life is done.. over with. Moved on.
But it sometimes bugs me. I cant see anything wrong with the way I acted, so the only reasoning I can see is a character flaw on her behalf?

What are your views guys??
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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SamTheHobit

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It seems women like to f**k with our mind and emotions.
 

TypeR

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Could it not also be an indicator and first hand experience that DJ techniques dont necesarilly work on ALL women?

From what I can gather from recent conversation with my ex, shes going out every day somewhere "Nice".. a waterfall or somewhere for example. And it also sounds like her new BF might be somewhat of an AFC. Very Cuddly with her, talks to her 24/7 etc
 

Iceberg

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TypeR said:
But Im baffled as to why this situation even occurred. She described me as the "Most amazing person shes ever met" and still does in some cases. So what went wrong?
You can't judge a woman by her words. Never. That's just a rule to live by.

[QUOTE}I cant see anything wrong with the way I acted, so the only reasoning I can see is a character flaw on her behalf?[/QUOTE]

Most likely, yeah. But who knows. You'd have an easier time drinking the ocean than figuring out what goes through a girl's mind.

TypeR said:
Could it not also be an indicator and first hand experience that DJ techniques dont necesarilly work on ALL women?
Well you're dealing with humans. It's never as simple as 2+2=4. There are always variables.

From what I can gather from recent conversation with my ex, shes going out every day somewhere "Nice".. a waterfall or somewhere for example. And it also sounds like her new BF might be somewhat of an AFC. Very Cuddly with her, talks to her 24/7 etc
Maybe he's an AFC. Maybe she's using him. Who the hell knows. Whatever.
 

TypeR

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Thats the sort of answer I was after.

And the best bit about it?


The "Whatever"
Ill just carry on with my game. Thanks dude :)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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