Confrontation 1 minute from my house

[2Rocky]

Elaborate please.

Why make yourself miserable because of someone else's mistake? Do you think it is your job to teach them to be more careful? If so how effective to you think that would be? News flash, Unless they apologized immediately they ain't. So don't set yourself up to fail. Becoming angry for hours after is just punishing yourself for their mistake.

When you work with animals, a lot of people get angry with them when they don't do what the human wants in the training process. The good trainers DON'T. They don't take it personally the way the animal reacts, and actually work harder to present themselves in a manner to the animal that makes the animal do what you want. You have to take out all the Ego, because it is not about you, its all about them.

Believe me I still get mad. A lot more than I would like. But that thought has made me a lot more effective in getting my desired outcomes from people.

 

[Gamisch]

Why make yourself miserable because of someone else's mistake? Do you think it is your job to teach them to be more careful? If so how effective to you think that would be? News flash, Unless they apologized immediately they ain't. So don't set yourself up to fail. Becoming angry for hours after is just punishing yourself for their mistake.

When you work with animals, a lot of people get angry with them when they don't do what the human wants in the training process. The good trainers DON'T. They don't take it personally the way the animal reacts, and actually work harder to present themselves in a manner to the animal that makes the animal do what you want. You have to take out all the Ego, because it is not about you, its all about them.

Believe me I still get mad. A lot more than I would like. But that thought has made me a lot more effective in getting my desired outcomes from people.

Great reply my brother

 

[Gamisch]

Just out of curiosity bro. Do you still believe in this? (holding a grudge is a feminine trait)

And now are you holding any kind of grudges at all?

Its not necessarily my believe, it was just interesting to hear her initial response. I personally do hold grudges. To my father for example who was never there. But not to the random guy who was drunk and had a big mouth. I used to be like that though, walking around with a virtual hit list.

Ofcourse it's never completely black or white. But for example; women tend to be vengeful, and hold grudges for longer periods. The classic example is a woman who brings up stuff that happened months ago.

On the other side of the spectrum we have the boys who have a "little fist fight" , but right after this all happened they are friends again. Two extremes . But a vengeful woman will be viewed as a " amusing Karen", while a vengeful man is viewed as a dangerous psychopath.

Holding grudges is only possible when you are still entwined with the negative emotions and will most of the time lead to a undesirable outcome. Especially in this society for us men it's a quick way to lose everything you've build up for years . Learning to let go quickly is beneficial if you have shyte to lose in life.

Edit: I should also add that having such a feminine trait will backfire in relationships with women. The balance is gone. Sometimes you must man up and lead the woman away from whatever emotion she has. Obviously there's a point where it becomes a thin line between being a man and being a pushover.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I did use defensive walking, I as alert the whole time. I'm not hearing this was my fault.


By exacting revenge I moved on, felt good, felt in control of the situation. For it it worked.


I use this forum to vent and divulge things about my personal life because like you said, it's online and nobody knows me here. So I post the worst parts and sides to me and my life. Anyone that has followed my posts over the last 6 years will know that is my posting style. I'm too honest sometimes, and I give 0 fvcks what you people think of me, so let's get that straight.

I'm not here to win points, I literrally came to vent 20 minutes after it happened. I went back last night and ripped the windshield wipers off, that's why I took the license plate down, because on the off chance the guy lives locally he is now my target. The guy should be worried he's pissed me off, not the other way around.

I'm the first to admit I'm not 100% mentally ok, I have always been a loose cannon, but if you think I'm a victim, like most of you people are, you are wrong. I hold grudges, I exact revenge, it's how I sleep at night not overthinking.

I know for a fact if you got all of us in a room you guys wouldn't have so much vim. I'm 6'2 200lb 16-17% bf (im getting leaner). This guy was a ****ing worm and I was pissed off I allowed myself to be punked by two guys in my area. It's my area, not his.

@Gamisch My therapist said similar. I've actually got VERY good at walking away, being the bigger man, working on my life and focusing on my self. However, I would rather die, I would rather be murdered, than live like a fvcking pvssy or tolerate disrespect publicly. Some of us are just like that, it's not good, no, but it is what the fvck it is. We are not all the same, if you guys think I should be worried about the comeback, that guy needs to be worried I don't kick off his door at 1am.

Most of you keep your head down and avoid confrontation, that's the safest route, may you live long fruitful lives crawling on your bellies, but deep down you know in your heart you're a weasel, a pvssy.

I find it funny how everyone on this forum is against my actions but people I told in real life were in agreement I did the right thing. Different strokes.

Nah bro. You simply show how easy it is for you to become flustered and bent out of shape. Trust me, if that's all it takes, women must be able to manipulate you like molding clay in their hands

I have zero interest in potentially ending up dead because someone started backing up and I felt like I need to go beat my chest at them and get in some type of screaming match.

People get killed for far less than that on a daily basis these days.

If it's not anything significant, it's not worth getting into a fight over. People who constantly need to "get respect" from others or "show them" they are right are simply people who feel insignificant in their own minds so it causes them to act out like children to try and get attention.

You don't "get respect" for acting like that, you simply make yourself look like a hotheaded fool who isn't in control of his emotions.

 

[typical]

Why are we even discussing this ???

The lads in the van don’t know you nor care for you nor do they even know where you live. Why are you letting a tiny incident affect you SO much ?

Who cares if you walked towards the car for a whole minute ..... wow the world revolves around you that everyone watches your every movement. The lads were probably talking **** about whatever they were going to do or had done or some chicks they were gonna meet up with or they were doing a drug deal ... who cares ..... you were never “seen” by them at all.

The driver reversed while most likely distracted.... you managed to not get hit. Awesome win win, just walk away and have a meal and relax.

You don’t need to start a fight or “teach someone a lesson” because in their ignorant life they didn’t notice your lame a55 walking. Again who cares it’s a non issue.

Let me quote The Lion King. “Being Brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble”.

Seems to me you’re looking to turn nothing into something because your fragile “The world revolves around me” ego got hurt.

 

[Murk]

Nah bro. You simply show how easy it is for you to become flustered and bent out of shape. Trust me, if that's all it takes, women must be able to manipulate you like molding clay in their hands

I have zero interest in potentially ending up dead because someone started backing up and I felt like I need to go beat my chest at them and get in some type of screaming match.

People get killed for far less than that on a daily basis these days.

If it's not anything significant, it's not worth getting into a fight over. People who constantly need to "get respect" from others or "show them" they are right are simply people who feel insignificant in their own minds so it causes them to act out like children to try and get attention.

You don't "get respect" for acting like that, you simply make yourself look like a hotheaded fool who isn't in control of his emotions.

Respect from who? You're the only one talking about respect. You keep mentioning how my behaviour makes me look, look to who though? Who am I impressing? I react in a way that makes me feel better, simple as. I felt aggrieved, I sought retribution, I feel great. I only look worse in your eyes, but again remind me who you are? We've already established we hold different views and I give 0 fvcks what you think of me. You are rambling, you are all rambling nonsense to me haha.

Good idea. Maybe in future don't post details about your criminal activity on the internet. Or better yet, don't get into dangerous vendettas every time someone isn't polite to you. There are still two of them (plus their mates and the police), they can easily guess who was responsible for the damage and they'll be on the look out for you in the neighborhood. If you did this to my car, I'd come back and wait for you to jog past again and then I'd follow you home.

It wasn't just impolite, he nearly ran me over, refused to apologised and was the aggressor after the fact. I hope he comes looking, there's a reason I reacted that same night. IT was raining heavily yesterday too, I couldn't help but feel joy he had to pay for that to be fixed and probably lost out on work. I hope he's fuming, I hope I see him again.

Did you at least check that the car didn't have any cameras at the front? You're not different than an afc who hits a 304, gets to prison and then he later thinks when someone is eating his cornhole "why did I do that $tupid $hit for a 304"

Didn't need to, I had a black hoody up, hat on and a black scarf around my face, only thing visble was my eyes through some glasses. I also wore rubber gloves.

Why are we even discussing this ???

The lads in the van don’t know you nor care for you nor do they even know where you live. Why are you letting a tiny incident affect you SO much ?

Who cares if you walked towards the car for a whole minute ..... wow the world revolves around you that everyone watches your every movement. The lads were probably talking **** about whatever they were going to do or had done or some chicks they were gonna meet up with or they were doing a drug deal ... who cares ..... you were never “seen” by them at all.

The driver reversed while most likely distracted.... you managed to not get hit. Awesome win win, just walk away and have a meal and relax.

You don’t need to start a fight or “teach someone a lesson” because in their ignorant life they didn’t notice your lame a55 walking. Again who cares it’s a non issue.

Let me quote The Lion King. “Being Brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble”.

Seems to me you’re looking to turn nothing into something because your fragile “The world revolves around me” ego got hurt.

I mean, you can call me fragile all you like, I've tried to change and suppress my ego/anger from when I nearly went to prison and was put on tag (ankle bracelet) 10+ years ago for fighting. I walked away. All I did was go back and damage his van. I would do it again, I feel great, I feel like I won, which is all that matters, my own piece of mind and happiness. Not the opinions of some faceless internet strangers.

Hopefully, he will think twice next time hyping up and shouting at people he doesn't know. I am contemplating going back in a week to do it again. I don't feel the windscreen wiper damage was enough I'm thinking a sustained campaign on this guy until I buck him face to face.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Murk, if your ego/anger issues almost sent you to prison, you really do need to acknowledge that this is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. I've been in the same boat several times in my younger life. People have done the most outrageous, selfish and careless things, and when it happened, it would infuriate me. I did not feel peace until I exacted some kind of revenge.

But I learned very late in life that this showed that I was not in control of myself. Everyone who offended me OWNED me. They took up residence in my brain, rent-free. The kind of experience you related here in your first post seems to be an accident of carelessness. Stupid, yes. Anger-inducing, yes. But as men we need to let those things go. I know it doesn't seem like it, but this kind of reaction is absolutely a female trait. Take it from the king of eliminating his own female traits.

I know I'm repackaging what has been said above, but in this day and age you need to be careful. For example, whenever I'm out of the house, I carry a "force multiplier" that makes a very loud boom and causes the person on the other end to have a really bad day. If I made a dumb mistake in my vehicle and some guy was aggressing toward me and I felt that I was in danger of great bodily harm or death, I would use my tool of protection to stop the threat. Responsible concealed carriers do not shoot to kill, but rather to stop the threat, and I would do so without hesitation. As a senior I can't fight the way I used to, even though I'm far stronger than most men my age. The courts usually take the age and strength disparity into account.

I'm pretty sure you live in a country where firearms are not legal, but I'm sure there are lots of illegal firearms out there and of course there's no shortage of edged weapons, pipes, bars, etc. as well.

We live in dangerous times, and need to pick and choose our battles more carefully than ever. But beyond the physical, just look at how consumed you have been with those two dopes in a van. They own you, brother. That's the real problem with grudges and revenge-seeking. You are slave to something outside of yourself. I will repeat, this is a female trait, not being able to let things go. When I finally learned this in my 50's it freed me from being so consumed by things, especially accidental, careless slights.

I often like your posts and never had a problem with you, but I wanted to underscore some things that have been said already, not in the interest of picking on you or offending, but rather in the interest of urging you to meditate upon the dynamics going on here and perhaps start to get a controlling handle on this issue. This was my issue for most of my life, and I lost a tremendous amount of peace of mind because of it, and a few times I could have lost my life.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This is how you fall off the face of the earth, Murk. Don't go over the edge.

 

[jimwho]

Didn't need to, I had a black hoody up, hat on and a black scarf around my face, only thing visble was my eyes through some glasses. I also wore rubber gloves.

I hope he's fuming, I hope I see him again.

A good memory that might help. Some background first, my dad was always good with advice. He was often class Champion in car/bike racing and a straight shooter<with actual shooting too. I doted on him and tried to emulate him in many ways. I "Teen" came home all beat up, even my tongue was cut from my own teeth.

Dad says what happened? I said I don't know. He said well son when things go to sht they go to sht in a hurry, try to learn something from it. Me-how can I learn from it if I don't know what happened? He says you'll know plenty by tomorrow and try to be like people that know what there doing.

Turns out I thought Trudy was being disrespected and sought revenge over something stupid, meaningless, and a bad return investment. Can't prove it but my memory has been sub par for like always. I think?

Pick your battles with maturity. I didn't.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Respect from who? You're the only one talking about respect. You keep mentioning how my behaviour makes me look, look to who though? Who am I impressing? I react in a way that makes me feel better, simple as. I felt aggrieved, I sought retribution, I feel great. I only look worse in your eyes, but again remind me who you are? We've already established we hold different views and I give 0 fvcks what you think of me. You are rambling, you are all rambling nonsense to me haha.


It wasn't just impolite, he nearly ran me over, refused to apologised and was the aggressor after the fact. I hope he comes looking, there's a reason I reacted that same night. IT was raining heavily yesterday too, I couldn't help but feel joy he had to pay for that to be fixed and probably lost out on work. I hope he's fuming, I hope I see him again.


Didn't need to, I had a black hoody up, hat on and a black scarf around my face, only thing visble was my eyes through some glasses. I also wore rubber gloves.



I mean, you can call me fragile all you like, I've tried to change and suppress my ego/anger from when I nearly went to prison and was put on tag (ankle bracelet) 10+ years ago for fighting. I walked away. All I did was go back and damage his van. I would do it again, I feel great, I feel like I won, which is all that matters, my own piece of mind and happiness. Not the opinions of some faceless internet strangers.

Hopefully, he will think twice next time hyping up and shouting at people he doesn't know. I am contemplating going back in a week to do it again. I don't feel the windscreen wiper damage was enough I'm thinking a sustained campaign on this guy until I buck him face to face.

They will have murky windows now, won't they?

 

[Murk]

Murk, if your ego/anger issues almost sent you to prison, you really do need to acknowledge that this is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. I've been in the same boat several times in my younger life. People have done the most outrageous, selfish and careless things, and when it happened, it would infuriate me. I did not feel peace until I exacted some kind of revenge.

But I learned very late in life that this showed that I was not in control of myself. Everyone who offended me OWNED me. They took up residence in my brain, rent-free. The kind of experience you related here in your first post seems to be an accident of carelessness. Stupid, yes. Anger-inducing, yes. But as men we need to let those things go. I know it doesn't seem like it, but this kind of reaction is absolutely a female trait. Take it from the king of eliminating his own female traits.

I know I'm repackaging what has been said above, but in this day and age you need to be careful. For example, whenever I'm out of the house, I carry a "force multiplier" that makes a very loud boom and causes the person on the other end to have a really bad day. If I made a dumb mistake in my vehicle and some guy was aggressing toward me and I felt that I was in danger of great bodily harm or death, I would use my tool of protection to stop the threat. Responsible concealed carriers do not shoot to kill, but rather to stop the threat, and I would do so without hesitation. As a senior I can't fight the way I used to, even though I'm far stronger than most men my age. The courts usually take the age and strength disparity into account.

I'm pretty sure you live in a country where firearms are not legal, but I'm sure there are lots of illegal firearms out there and of course there's no shortage of edged weapons, pipes, bars, etc. as well.

We live in dangerous times, and need to pick and choose our battles more carefully than ever. But beyond the physical, just look at how consumed you have been with those two dopes in a van. They own you, brother. That's the real problem with grudges and revenge-seeking. You are slave to something outside of yourself. I will repeat, this is a female trait, not being able to let things go. When I finally learned this in my 50's it freed me from being so consumed by things, especially accidental, careless slights.

I often like your posts and never had a problem with you, but I wanted to underscore some things that have been said already, not in the interest of picking on you or offending, but rather in the interest of urging you to meditate upon the dynamics going on here and perhaps start to get a controlling handle on this issue. This was my issue for most of my life, and I lost a tremendous amount of peace of mind because of it, and a few times I could have lost my life.

I appreciate your response, I also enjoy your posts and respect you as highly, as much as one can on a forrum. Yeah, I live in the UK, but I own a shotgun license as of last month and am in the middle of purchasing a sawn-off at 31cm in length (legal). Most people here don't even realise we can pack heat. I'm a huge advocate of the 2nd amendment.

100% - I let my inner savage get the best of me. I don't condone my actions, but I will 100% say I enjoyed it and regret nothing.

I think the best way to control this is to not put myself in these situations, but sh*t happens. Once you have given and taken a punch, confrontation means less. I think most on this forum could benefit from a fight.

A good memory that might help. Some background first, my dad was always good with advice. He was often class Champion in car/bike racing and a straight shooter<with actual shooting too. I doted on him and tried to emulate him in many ways. I "Teen" came home all beat up, even my tongue was cut from my own teeth.

Dad says what happened? I said I don't know. He said well son when things go to sht they go to sht in a hurry, try to learn something from it. Me-how can I learn from it if I don't know what happened? He says you'll know plenty by tomorrow and try to be like people that know what there doing.

Turns out I thought Trudy was being disrespected and sought revenge over something stupid, meaningless, and a bad return investment. Can't prove it but my memory has been sub par for like always. I think?

Pick your battles with maturity. I didn't.

My upbringing was more like if I came home from being bullied/aggrieved I would be beaten, and frog marched to whoever's house and made to fight. Disgusting I know, now with no living immediate family I feel even more urge to not be disrespected. No amount of therapy or internet dissection will change me.

Circled back the house earlier, no van there, if I've made this cretin have to park in another location that's another win.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I appreciate your response, I also enjoy your posts and respect you as highly, as much as one can on a forrum. Yeah, I live in the UK, but I own a shotgun license as of last month and am in the middle of purchasing a sawn-off at 31cm in length (legal). Most people here don't even realise we can pack heat. I'm a huge advocate of the 2nd amendment.

100% - I let my inner savage get the best of me. I don't condone my actions, but I will 100% say I enjoyed it and regret nothing.

I think the best way to control this is to not put myself in these situations, but sh*t happens. Once you have given and taken a punch, confrontation means less. I think most on this forum could benefit from a fight.


My upbringing was more like if I came home from being bullied/aggrieved I would be beaten, and frog marched to whoever's house and made to fight. Disgusting I know, now with no living immediate family I feel even more urge to not be disrespected. No amount of therapy or internet dissection will change me.

Circled back the house earlier, no van there, if I've made this cretin have to park in another location that's another win.

May I recommend you offer advice in areas in which you have experience… You clearly don’t fight.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There is a motivational speaker on YouTube that I like. He talks about how prison changed his life for the better, and he says an important philosophical lesson to him was that if you send positive energy out into the universe, positive energy will come back to you. It works the same with negative energy. That guy isn't religious, but I think he sums up all religions. Moses said love your neighbor, Jesus said love your enemy. Mohammed said to repel evil with good so that your enemy becomes your friend. It's the same message, but what I think the religions leave out are the benefits of following the philosophy. Try it. Go be nice to people, and I am guessing that positive energy will come back to you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is so embarassing.. all of it. You're worried about incriminating yourself on an online forum that virtual no one knows about, but you didn't think about the fact that you are messing with 2 random guys who you know nothing of waht they are capable of and vandalizing their property.. I mean these dudes are driving around in an unmarked white van for one.. You gotta use more sense.

You showed everyone here you have this weird lil man/victim syndrome that made u lash back out at these people like they pinned you up against a wallby your collar and made u give them your money .. just because they were backing up their vehicle while you happened to cross by?

Maybe I'm looking at it from a diff perspective than yours.. I live/grew up in Chicago and have dealt with some of the craziest movie-like scenarios and I don't even bring those stories up in convos almost ever.. then we got you here, your feelings hurt so badly by2 guys who were harmlessly backing up their vehicle lol

I feel for you though man.. you'd be a good person to mentor because part of me feels like you need some guidance. like you might have felt like a victim or less than otherpeople many times in your life ? or do you just have serious anger issues?

When a man acts like this, it says something is not right about his personal power. lik ehe feels he has diminished personal power / is weaker than others or perceived that way.. Whereas a man who people can look atand be like "man id never mess with that guy" would not even have to say a word.. even if those dudes yelled at him instaed of him yell at them first.. he would just be like "ahha okay"and keep walking like "funny guys"..

I tend to agree with this 100%

 

[Mike32ct]

There is a motivational speaker on YouTube that I like. He talks about how prison changed his life for the better, and he says an important philosophical lesson to him was that if you send positive energy out into the universe, positive energy will come back to you. It works the same with negative energy.

I know who you're talking about. He has really good stuff.

 

[Murk]

May I recommend you offer advice in areas in which you have experience… You clearly don’t fight.

This isn't an advice thread bro, I'm so sorry you lack the mental fortitude to understand that. This is a reactionary, this just happened, experience thread.

Why do you say I clearly don't fight? I don't fight professionally, I had a charity/white collar boxing fight 10 days ago that I won. First time fighting in front of people, was very nervous as my whole life I avoided attention but it was a great experience and I want to do it again. I train in the same boxing gym as Mark Tibbs who trained Dillian Whyte, met him a few times, you will know them if you know boxing.

I've been in fights, I enjoy fighting, I've given and taken punches since I was 13 years old. You have probably gone 40+ years without throwing a punch or receiving one, which is fine. It's a different life posting online in hypotheticals.

I decided to go extra hard at the gym and will be taking up BBJ. I also went for a long walk today around my area just because. I'm good.

 

[Divorced w 3]

This isn't an advice thread bro, I'm so sorry you lack the mental fortitude to understand that. This is a reactionary, this just happened, experience thread.

Why do you say I clearly don't fight? I don't fight professionally, I had a charity/white collar boxing fight 10 days ago that I won. First time fighting in front of people, was very nervous as my whole life I avoided attention but it was a great experience and I want to do it again. I train in the same boxing gym as Mark Tibbs who trained Dillian Whyte, met him a few times, you will know them if you know boxing.

I've been in fights, I enjoy fighting, I've given and taken punches since I was 13 years old. You have probably gone 40+ years without throwing a punch or receiving one, which is fine. It's a different life posting online in hypotheticals.

I decided to go extra hard at the gym and will be taking up BBJ. I also went for a long walk today around my area just because. I'm good.

No you haven’t

 

[2Rocky]

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[Murk]

So little update after I ****ed with the van he now parks somewhere else, but I’ve seen the van haha, benefits of having taken down the plates. I decided against further damage as he has for sure learned his lesson. I still walk past on my walking route so will update you when we run into each other. I’m still very glad I didn’t ignore and forget, but I have forgiven him now.