"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Condom Use?

B

bamboozled_panfish

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Condom Advice? Sorry for putting it in this category!

Is there a sure way of making sure that once you take a condom out of it's wrapper, you don't put it on inside out?

Lately, I have a problem when I put one on. It rolls about half-way down and then I can't seem to get it any further? Why could this be, as sometimes it works fine!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L

Last Man Standing

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Yo, they are teaching kids how to put a condom on in high school -- did you miss the class? Our youth are falling behind the rest of the world in reading and science and mathematics but the American youth are the best in knowing the condom roll!!! We have advanced so far!!!! :rolleyes:
 
B

Bigsnake

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If it's not unrolling and just stretching, then you got it on backwards.
 
M

musclyjerk

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Just tell the girl you're gunna bang to put it on you - it's the LEAST they can do since you're the one sacrificing a little of your manhood.

Tell her it turns you on. If she doesn't do it and is laid there like a cabbage going 'what?' tell her to get the hell out.

The Muscly Jerk
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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L

Last Man Standing

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This is mr bamboozle - a troll - he has another condom thread,..

First Time Sex Problems!
My girlfriend and I tried to have sex last night for the first time (for both of us). It was a disaster, I couldn't get the condom on, and then when I did get it on, I didn't know where to put it! I feel like a total idiot, and she finds the whole thing hilarious, and I don't. What would you do in this situation as it's so embarrassing!
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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