You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Agreed, but I've had two other STRs from Meetup. This one is pretty attractive. She 5' 7'' and looks like Taylor Swift. So you're thinking I shouldn't reach out to her on Monday night to see if we're on for Thursday? One would think it would be a bit rare for a lady to give a guy she's known to ask if he'd like to join her and her attractive friend for drinks next week and then text her number from his phone. No?
I was speaking about meetup more generally speaking rather than about your case in particular. Follow your intuition. I would definitely pursue things. I've hooked up with six girls (all attractive) from meetup in the past 2+ years so it's definitely possible. It's definitely easier in the big cities. Sometimes, there will be odd waves of pretty girls who are too naive to figure out meetup is a waste of time and get sucked into it for short periods who are actually willing to date rather than the old battlehags who are lifers.
It seems we're from the same home town in Queens, so I used that to my advantage. I kino'ed and talked aggressively and sexually to hint on things, she didn't bat an eye. We'll see. I can give it a shot and see where it goes.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
True, but the few that I go to aren't that bad. I've been to ones which are as boring as watching paint dry, so I know what you mean.
So if anything she cold approached you. But in these situations, its not the same as doing a cold approach while you are walking down a street somewhere. People are at these places with the mindset that they will be open to talking to other people at this same event.
You really know how to rain on a man's parade dude. Mr. Positivity we should call you.
How is it raining on a parade? If a woman comes up to talk to you how do you consider it a cold approach by you?
I did cold approach a couple of weeks ago, she was standoffish, so I backed off. We chatted about it for a bit, as she didn't recall, and I jokingly said you were a bit bitchy to me, so I walked away. She then was a bit surprised but it seemed to draw her in more to me. Weird.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I did. We're on for this week.
Reminds me of the urban dictionary definition. It is uncannily accurate:
No need to hate dude.
Where's the hate? That's what most meetups are like.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Not around me. The's 20's and 30's are pretty fun with young people. Sometimes, there are older people there, but the younger people congregate with the young members, and the older ones congregate with the older ones. If there were one's which were/are as dead as that quote suggested, I'd just bail.
I've been to both types as well. The 20's and 30's members are usually late 20's on up. And lots of members in their late 30's. So, not really that "young." They sometimes have people show up who are 26 and under but they are clearly in the minority.
Very true. I guess being close to NYC that has a positive effect.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.