behimo
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2019
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- 51
Today you'll look to find rest by trying to understand your life, or you'll rest in the one who understands everything, including your life.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Cola's pic thread got me thinking
- Thread starter Glassguy
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
nicksaiz65
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 27, 2017
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I do every 2 weeks. How much does your barber charge you?
Glassguy
Moderator
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$15
forcerecon01
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2019
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- 863
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- 47
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The women that really love me and care about me annoy me, and I usually push them away. Like damn stop smothering me with all your love, stop wanting to talk to me daily, stop calling me first, stop responding to my texts super fast with paragraphs... then months later I look back like damn, that girl really liked me, why was I acting like that with her lol
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
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- 5,415
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- 57
FWIW this is exactly why men should reach out first & then women respond warmly. It avoids the smothering and maintains some tension & polarity.
It has been my experience as a woman that men get easily bored when a woman isn’t interesting or isn’t intriguing. Keeping something mysterious and uncertain keeps people’s interest.
Men who have been through myriad women (including men in this thread) are seeking someone who is especially unique as a consequence of having so much choice. Women like that exist but are rare. You know, the ones who are smart enough to satisfy your intellect, cool enough to chill with, hot enough to get you hard, and spunky/spontaneous enough to keep you engaged while also keeping some mystery and tension. That’s tough to find in one woman.
The players are used to pretty faces, boobs and bums. Looks are not enough to keep a man whose had lots of women. It’s the deeper characteristics that count. Sex first & get to know later is a strategy MOST players employ because sex has become a commodity really. But sex with someone you are connected to and care about is different. It gets deeper than the physical. It becomes a meeting of the minds/bodies/spirits...but sex right away is never at that depth (reported to me by MANY players who were either close friends (not FWBs) or lovers).
Screen for those deeper characteristics. Release women until you find those characteristics and then allow yourself to express yourself more. Allow yourself to become attached.
That’s how you find a meaningful partnership.
Rotating women isn’t going to get you a meaningful relationship. Those two things are inherently mutually exclusive.
At some point you gotta take a risk and pick somebody to try and share your story with in life.
Don’t take my female opinion about this if you think this is all chick speak look up what Paul Zanka in NYC and comedian Russell Brand have to say about it.
At some point you are perhaps going to want a real human being to human being relationship in your life. Early dating, plate rotating, and starting over with a new line up every 3-4 months isn’t going to get you this.
But there is relatively little content on SS about having a successful meaningful relationship. I think it’s something worth discussing.
And @cola it’s Ok you want to be a hero...most women want a man to be their hero in a sense...just think about what that means.
A little crazy is ok. It just needs to be a type of crazy you can live with.
So those are some thoughts.
Can I gently pull on your hair while I cry