"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Code Red - Defcon 1

sazc

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Murk...you just do a PISS POOR job of keeping these chicks isolated from each other.

Riddle me this - how does Katie know about Sara? WHY does Katie know about Sara?

I'll tell you how and why - YOU

There was no reason to tell Katie you banged SARA. you could have not mentioned it at all, or you say "yes, I have slept with SOMEONE ELSE" but you dont name names.

You did this. You like it. It legitimately all starts and stops with you.

I still love ya tho!
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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backseatjuan

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Yo sazc I love shapewaear and atalkings and anal. We can hittbat sht right now I’n 37 got my sht togethetber. I’ll be your man I need citizenship, you be my toy, we have opeb relationship and theesomes and sht. Hot me up. I luv mature!
 

SoSuave666

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Why is Sara living with you? Why are you sleeping with her? That is basically a recipe for disaster. Obviously she will be jealous of other women you bring around her. You can't be this stupid...
 

sazc

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Yo sazc I love shapewaear and atalkings and anal. We can hittbat sht right now I’n 37 got my sht togethetber. I’ll be your man I need citizenship, you be my toy, we have opeb relationship and theesomes and sht. Hot me up. I luv mature!
Ummmmmm well now, that's quite an offer, misspellings and all! Wait...I'm not sure I understand the offer as it is laid out, lol
 

Masculinity

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OP must be a troll.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sazc

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Not to mention you just gave Katie Sara's HPV

Prepare for that sh1tstorm
 

Murk

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Fvck my actual life
 

The_411

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Is this Melrose Place IRL?

Sure, it can be fun to **** stir but the headaches aren’t worth it.

It’s why men should be above drama. It’s clear that these girls are fighting over you, which is fine when you can be away from the drama.

However, the big mistake is getting involved with a roommate.
 

Murk

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Difficult not to get involved with a roommate when we’ve had sexual tension a year before she even moved in with me, she wasn’t some random. It was hard to fight it, I didn’t game her, it just happened
 

Murk

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Update:

I was out most of the weekend with the Spanish waitress. Sara asked would I be home Sunday afternoon to help with food prep and to chat about all this.

I come home last night and my best friend comes over too, we are drinking rum and chatting and Sara joins us in the living room. My friend immediately questions her on the subject (he knows everyone involved), Sara plays like she doesn’t care and it’s between me and Katie to sort out and she doesn’t want to be part of the drama.

I tell Sara I’m not speaking to Katie anymore and we’re no longer friends (true) my best friend tells Sara how cruel and vindictive Katie has always been, Sara warms up more, admits she likes me more than a friend, still wants to come to Spain with me in a few weeks, calls me intense and says I can’t change her if she doesn’t open up that’s just how she is.

Anyway it’s somewhat resolved, I’ll keep my distance but at least nobody hates me right now. Case closed.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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