"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Can't tell if Im being blown off (quote provided)

NickAdams713

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I have to say, sometimes you guys crack me up. Let me get this straight. You ask girl out. She says she cannot go for at least a week. Let's ask ourselves one quick question, if Justin Bieber asked her out, do you think she would tell him to get back to her in a week or so? No! She'd clear her schedule. This girl's interest level is low.

You are just gonna have to tighten your game up, spin way more plates, and move on. Sure, you can check in with her in a week I guess, but who wants to be taking out someone who is "too busy" for a whole week?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sdives

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I have to say, sometimes you guys crack me up. Let me get this straight. You ask girl out. She says she cannot go for at least a week. Let's ask ourselves one quick question, if Justin Bieber asked her out, do you think she would tell him to get back to her in a week or so? No! She'd clear her schedule. This girl's interest level is low.

You are just gonna have to tighten your game up, spin way more plates, and move on. Sure, you can check in with her in a week I guess, but who wants to be taking out someone who is "too busy" for a whole week?

The celebrity analogy doesn't work. We aren't celebs and she isn't either. They are more public than we are so it creates an illusion about them.
 

Sdives

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I wouldn't contact her again. IF she is interested....she has your number.

You have already asked once.

Contacting her again to ask again conveys you have FEW or NO options and clearly gives her the frame.

NOT contacting her again shows you have options and have no reason to chase.

Like I said Im going tot oak to to her in person and see how that goes and gauge her then. Honestly I swear I had enough to go on that I thought she was interested. She may not feel conformable yet / somewhat unsure. Im going to be in holding pattern.

if she said "maybe another time" that would be different. So I am going to hang lose for now
 

Sdives

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The celebrity analogy doesn't work. We aren't celebs and she isn't either. They are more public than we are so it creates an illusion about them.
In addition, I cant socialize during the week I get up at 6 and don't get home till 830, 5 days a week. Its not possible for me. Who maybe not her too? dont know.
 

Igetit!

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In addition, I cant socialize during the week I get up at 6 and don't get home till 830, 5 days a week. Its not possible for me. Who maybe not her too? dont know.
That's a busy schedule. I noticed something you said in the original post,though. You said....

"I asked the girl out for coffee". So even with this busy schedule of yours,you STILL tried to set up a date with her.....STILL FOUND the time to make things happen...if she'd been up for it.

So your busy 6 to 8:30/5 days a week schedule still hasn't taken all your free time away to the point of you not asking girls out anymore and trying to setting up dates....you're willing to MAKE THE TIME...even with your schedule.

Funny how BOTH men and women have busy lives,but when it comes to dating,it's like only us guys are able to find time to meet.


I think this seems appropriate here.......






That explains BOTH why you're able to find time,while she apparent isn't.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Sdives

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That's a busy schedule. I noticed something you said in the original post,though. You said....

"I asked the girl out for coffee". So even with this busy schedule of yours,you STILL tried to set up a date with her.....STILL FOUND the time to make things happen...if she'd been up for it.

So your busy 6 to 8:30/5 days a week schedule still hasn't taken all your free time away to the point of you not asking girls out anymore and trying to setting up dates....you're willing to MAKE THE TIME...even with your schedule.

Funny how BOTH men and women have busy lives,but when it comes to dating,it's like only us guys are able to find time to meet.


I think this seems appropriate here.......






That explains BOTH why you're able to find time,while she apparent isn't.
She said in a week or so. I said Saturday she maybe busy then. With all our interactions I was confident she was interested. Im going to see what happens
Saturday is like my only time, it might not be for her, she said in a week or so. She didnt maybe or anything like that


She did suggest another time, so I will give the the benefit of the doubt. It might be legit. I dont know her that well who know whats she has going on.

She didnt say "Im busy" and thats it, she said "sometime in the next week" that sounds like she does want to hang out etc.
 
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devilkingx2

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Yes, what are you saying? Im adding my thoughts as we discuss
everyone's saying the same thing but you don't quite seem to be getting it lol.

The celebrity analogy doesn't work. We aren't celebs and she isn't either. They are more public than we are so it creates an illusion about them.
the point is that you cannot create time where time doesn't exist

so if time exists for brad pitt but time doesn't exist for you, what does that tell you?

In addition, I cant socialize during the week I get up at 6 and don't get home till 830, 5 days a week. Its not possible for me. Who maybe not her too? dont know.
unless this chick is a doctor she's not that busy.
 

Sdives

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everyone's saying the same thing but you don't quite seem to be getting it lol.



the point is that you cannot create time where time doesn't exist

so if time exists for brad pitt but time doesn't exist for you, what does that tell you?



unless this chick is a doctor she's not that busy.
She said " sometime next week"
 

Sdives

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Good advice. Try chocolate, and tell her that you're longing for her. She will jump into your arms and tell you you're the only one for her.
Yes I'll show up to the gym singing One direction .That'll work.

You said she sounded fine what did you mean by that?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Sdives

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So she was working tonight as usual I talked to her for a few minutes then went about my workout. For my first hour (as I have 2.5 hour gym sessions and take my training seriously) she was looking over at me nonstop even way in the distance…. this was constantly.. I am not sure what to make of it. Eventually walked over and got her and her fiend laughing about silly stories I have and chatted them up she was nice receptive like nothing ever happened

It looked like she wanted to say something as I said bye and walked out who knows I’ll see her tomorrow.

My plan so far is to talk to her more, get to know her more and see how that goes, But she not cold to me at all, she leans in to me and talks across the desk.

She looks at me all the time even way over across the room I can see it. I have no idea how to take that. It was way more than usual it went on for an hour.

What do ya’ll think? like there no coldness from her at all none zero
 
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nismo-4

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Oh she's super crammed alright!

OP, if it were me, I'd fall back and restart in a week. If she does anything except say yes and actually show up, she's deleted. Oh yeah, I'd be trying to get with another girl before then.

You're in a holding position. There's still other bids going on. If her personal trainer asks her out (which is likely what she wants to happen), she'll only come to you for an attention fix.

It's in her hands. You have no control. She wants the bigger better deal. You aren't it in her eyes.
 

Sdives

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Oh she's super crammed alright!

OP, if it were me, I'd fall back and restart in a week. If she does anything except say yes and actually show up, she's deleted. Oh yeah, I'd be trying to get with another girl before then.

You're in a holding position. There's still other bids going on. If her personal trainer asks her out (which is likely what she wants to happen), she'll only come to you for an attention fix.

It's in her hands. You have no control. She wants the bigger better deal. You aren't it in her eyes.

I don't see how you think what I said was negative? She's not pulling away. I am in better shape the allot of the trainers.

Did you not read my update? my post from last night. She tells me about other guys hitting on her she likes none of them She told me about about it two weeks ago
 
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mrgoodstuff

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I don't see how you think what I said was negative? She's not pulling away. I am in better shape the allot of the trainers.

Did you not read my update? my post from last night. She tells me about other guys hitting on her she likes none of them She told me about about it two weeks ago
Dude that's cool that your in better shape than most of the trainers. Really helps you.
I have to say, sometimes you guys crack me up. Let me get this straight. You ask girl out. She says she cannot go for at least a week. Let's ask ourselves one quick question, if Justin Bieber asked her out, do you think she would tell him to get back to her in a week or so? No! She'd clear her schedule. This girl's interest level is low.

You are just gonna have to tighten your game up, spin way more plates, and move on. Sure, you can check in with her in a week I guess, but who wants to be taking out someone who is "too busy" for a whole week?
It's dis-respect to yourself to allow it. That "too busy" bs has to be broken up with a long enough no contact to check if theres interest. The interest is lower than it naturally would be because she figures you aren't gonna leave. You have to show her you will, don't threaten her, just do it.
 

Sdives

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Dude that's cool that your in better shape than most of the trainers. Really helps you.


It's dis-respect to yourself to allow it. That "too busy" bs has to be broken up with a long enough no contact to check if theres interest. The interest is lower than it naturally would be because she figures you aren't gonna leave. You have to show her you will, don't threaten her, just do it.

I wasn't on her for the first hour of the gym but she looks at me nonstop even via the distance, No idea why. Also talking to her is super warm and friendly no distance, no avoidance.

any ideas why? and why the constant looking, like constant. moreso than in a long time. Im going to make more and more small talk and gauge her reponse then.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Igetit!

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I wasn't on her for the first hour of the gym but she looks at me nonstop even via the distance, No idea why. Also talking to her is super warm and friendly no distance, no avoidance.

any ideas why? and why the constant looking, like constant. moreso than in a long time. Im going to make more and more small talk and gauge her reponse then.
Are you a teenager? And I'm serious.

You're either extremely young,or were extremely sheltered as a child,isolated from interacting with women.

You're SO naive...you SO don't "get it"...it's not even funny. This post is so flat out RIDICULOUS,I'm "awe-struck"....I can't even be angry cause I'm so dumbfounded.

You're so backwards,not even the DJ Bible could help....and you don't have a CLUE as to how ridiculous your comment is here.


You say: "Also talking to her is super warm and friendly no distance, no avoidance."

So you sense "warmth and friendliness" in your conversations with her,correct?

What about ATTRACTION? You sense any of that? Or is that not important,you just want "warm and friendly" conversations with her?

Sheeesh dude....and I thought I used to be naive. You take it to a whole new level. At least you have this forum to help you out,I didn't have anything. You might reject and resist the comments to help you,but at least they're there.

You...uuhh...just wow.......
 

Sdives

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Are you a teenager? And I'm serious.

You're either extremely young,or were extremely sheltered as a child,isolated from interacting with women.

You're SO naive...you SO don't "get it"...it's not even funny. This post is so flat out RIDICULOUS,I'm "awe-struck"....I can't even be angry cause I'm so dumbfounded.

You're so backwards,not even the DJ Bible could help....and you don't have a CLUE as to how ridiculous your comment is here.


You say: "Also talking to her is super warm and friendly no distance, no avoidance."

So you sense "warmth and friendliness" in your conversations with her,correct?

What about ATTRACTION? You sense any of that? Or is that not important,you just want "warm and friendly" conversations with her?

Sheeesh dude....and I thought I used to be naive. You take it to a whole new level. At least you have this forum to help you out,I didn't have anything. You might reject and resist the comments to help you,but at least they're there.

You...uuhh...just wow.......
No offense but this makes no sense with regards to this situation
 

devilkingx2

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I don't see how you think what I said was negative? She's not pulling away. I am in better shape the allot of the trainers.

Did you not read my update? my post from last night. She tells me about other guys hitting on her she likes none of them She told me about about it two weeks ago
telling you about other guys is a bad sign, if she liked you and knew anything about guys she'd know not to mention other dudes for the fear of turning you off.

I wasn't on her for the first hour of the gym but she looks at me nonstop even via the distance, No idea why. Also talking to her is super warm and friendly no distance, no avoidance.

any ideas why? and why the constant looking, like constant. moreso than in a long time. Im going to make more and more small talk and gauge her reponse then.
when you first start out in the game you'll think things like this mean anything, they don't.

girls who like you are only subtle if they're 12.
 

Sdives

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telling you about other guys is a bad sign, if she liked you and knew anything about guys she'd know not to mention other dudes for the fear of turning you off.



when you first start out in the game you'll think things like this mean anything, they don't.

girls who like you are only subtle if they're 12.

No she telling me about guys that she rejects, this is before I did anything
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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