Can't tell if Im being blown off (quote provided)

[Sdives]

telling you about other guys is a bad sign, if she liked you and knew anything about guys she'd know not to mention other dudes for the fear of turning you off.



when you first start out in the game you'll think things like this mean anything, they don't.

girls who like you are only subtle if they're 12.

Thats the thing every textbook sign was blatant, Now this curveball. This is why I made the thread in the first place

 

[devilkingx2]

Thats the thing every textbook sign was blatant, Now this curveball. This is why I made the thread in the first place

girls who like you make it obvious, they'll pay for a billboard with neon lights confessing their love for you.

the textbook signs don't really mean much, if you have to look for signs then she almost certainly doesn't like you much.

 

[Sdives]

girls who like you make it obvious, they'll pay for a billboard with neon lights confessing their love for you.

the textbook signs don't really mean much, if you have to look for signs then she almost certainly doesn't like you much.

I think you're the one that has no idea what he's talking about

 

[narcissist]

I think you're the one that has no idea what he's talking about

Nah kid you don't know what you're talking about. You asked for advice and there's four bloody pages of it. You're a lost cause. Sign off and be an AFC for life.

 

[Sdives]

Kid? Im likely older than all of you. Narcissist, your first few posts were great. Then some others posters were being ridiculous in this thread, It become troll city

 

[devilkingx2]

Kid? Im likely older than all of you. Narcissist, your first few posts were great. Then some others posters were being ridiculous in this thread, It become troll city

you ever see one of those posts where someone asks something, is told an answer, doesn't accept the answer, then posts back a week or a month later saying everyone else was right?

because there are actually a lot of those

it's pretty much par for course actually, we've all seen this before. usually happens the first time or the first couple of times someone posts

 

[LuckyStrike88]

Hi Guys

Long-time lurker First Time Poster.

I asked the girl out for coffee ( lame I know ). I was sure she was interested but now I'm not so sure. She said yes in person. I messaged her the next day and her reply was " It will be in a week or so, I'm crammed and the moment for a little bit, but I wil know when Im free".

There was no maybe or anything, the first part she gives a counter and says " It will be in a week" so she did give a time frame but her saying she will "let me know" isn't great. If it was totally negative would she say something else? it's confusing to me

once again I was near certain she was down. She didn't hesitate at all when I asked in person.

going to lay low for a bit,
is it hard to get? is it not interested? now what?

I can't tell for sure, but if it was rejection why would she say It will be in a week or so? That's a time frame it sounds definitive,

I swear I thought she was 90% interested. I felt very good about it

Exact quote is Below :

"It'll have to be some time in the next week or so, I'm super crammed with lots going on in the next little bit so I'll let ya kno when I'm free!"

Set your own priorities for instance self-improvement, working out, studies/work first. Seeing you are already over-analyzing the situation even before the first date will be a problem even if you get past a few dates.

Hi Guys

Long-time lurker First Time Poster.

I asked the girl out for coffee ( lame I know ). I was sure she was interested but now I'm not so sure. She said yes in person. I messaged her the next day and her reply was " It will be in a week or so, I'm crammed and the moment for a little bit, but I wil know when Im free".

There was no maybe or anything, the first part she gives a counter and says " It will be in a week" so she did give a time frame but her saying she will "let me know" isn't great. If it was totally negative would she say something else? it's confusing to me

once again I was near certain she was down. She didn't hesitate at all when I asked in person.

going to lay low for a bit,
is it hard to get? is it not interested? now what?

I can't tell for sure, but if it was rejection why would she say It will be in a week or so? That's a time frame it sounds definitive,

I swear I thought she was 90% interested. I felt very good about it

Exact quote is Below :

"It'll have to be some time in the next week or so, I'm super crammed with lots going on in the next little bit so I'll let ya kno when I'm free!"

Do your own things, work on yourself, increase your value. And don't make some girl you haven't even been on a date yet with worth it to over-analyze.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I haven't read the entire thread, but I'll throw in my maxim here for what it's worth:

A woman who is interested in you will move mountains to be with you.

If she says no to a coffee date, it means her interest level is extremely low. Personally, for the follow-up I would say, "Hey, I'm going to "xyz". Why don't you join me?"

If she gives an excuse, she is not interested and you should cut bait immediately. Women like this are to be waded through without looking back. OP, you used the word, "innocent" a few times. The last thing you want is to be "innocent". That is a female trait. You need to be mysterious and dangerous. That's what attracts women. Don't think in terms of an "innocent" date. I'm certain by the way you write that you telegraph a lot of insecurity.

Women should be approached with a light, wispy, fun attitude, as if to convey that you are living to amuse yourself and you might offer her a chance to come along for the ride if she qualifies. ALWAYS BE SUBLEY TESTING HER AND MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS IT.

Women cannot date a man they see as less secure than them and who has less social value. You should be towering above ALL women in your day to day, conveying a slight air of superiority, offset by friendliness and fun.

 

[Sdives]

I haven't read the entire thread, but I'll throw in my maxim here for what it's worth:

A woman who is interested in you will move mountains to be with you.

If she says no to a coffee date, it means her interest level is extremely low. Personally, for the follow-up I would say, "Hey, I'm going to "xyz". Why don't you join me?"

If she gives an excuse, she is not interested and you should cut bait immediately. Women like this are to be waded through without looking back. OP, you used the word, "innocent" a few times. The last thing you want is to be "innocent". That is a female trait. You need to be mysterious and dangerous. That's what attracts women. Don't think in terms of an "innocent" date. I'm certain by the way you write that you telegraph a lot of insecurity.

Women should be approached with a light, wispy, fun attitude, as if to convey that you are living to amuse yourself and you might offer her a chance to come along for the ride if she qualifies. ALWAYS BE SUBLEY TESTING HER AND MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS IT.

Women cannot date a man they see as less secure than them and who has less social value. You should be towering above ALL women in your day to day, conveying a slight air of superiority, offset by friendliness and fun.

She just in a week would be better. She never said no. I have asked since but Im making small talk and getting to know each other more, for example she had no idea what I did for a living. I thought she did but whatever. Im going to see who that goes. Im not waiting around mind you , but Im not giving up yet or anything. For about 2 months I swear it was a go I was 90% sure and over that it was on. No idea why I got this roadblock all of a sudden.

 

[2Rocky]

The only thing you need to worry about is if she says yes...Operate as if you don't have a date and live your life. Don't put your life on hold for a maybe...

 

[Sdives]

The only thing you need to worry about is if she says yes...Operate as if you don't have a date and live your life. Don't put your life on hold for a maybe...

I know I never got a maybe, I never got another time, I never got a no or any of that. I got a "It will be in the week or so"

 

[JJMcLure]

• You are too focused on this girl. Thinking about and asking so many questions about the situation. Noting her Facebook activity to see what she was doing. I don't know if it is at the stage of oneitis (are you pursuing any other girls?) but psychologically it is likely to affect your interactions unhelpfully.
  
• She works in a gym. Imagine how much male attention she gets and don't expect you are the only one who has asked her out.
• If she had high enough interest she would have said yes.
• You are looking for signals - you say she looks at you, leans across the desk etc. The bottom line is that if she is interested she will go out with you. You asked her (credit for taking that step) and she gave an excuse. She told you she will let you know when she is free. So, if she doesn't do that, what would you say her interest is and why would you try to chase in the face of that?
  
• You say she acts like nothing happened when you see her. What do you expect her to do? Chicks like it when men find them attractive (even if they don't want to go out with the guy). They like attention, it boosts their ego. At 19 she is very much at the stage where she will be enjoying assessing her options and sexual market value.

Advice is to pursue some other girls.

 

[sera]

Yea she probably blowing you off. Most women don't like to be mean if they can avoid it. They operate in a much more subtle fashion than us guys.

 

[bigneil]

lets go point by point:

1. coffee isn't lame, lame is taking a woman out on an expensive date entirely on out of your own pocket

If saving $20 is actually a factor when you take a woman out, it's time: get a job.

You want the cost of your date to come out of someone else's pocket? I assume you voted for Hillary?

2. women love to lie, nothing she says should be taken as confirmation of anything. i've almost never seen a woman willing to just say "nah, i don't want to date you"

Are you texting from an Obamaphone?

3. based off that quote you need to think

does she have a legitimate cause for being busy that you know of(for example, it's finals week, her grandma died, family vacation, etc.)? then wait a week then see what she says (more excuses of any kind = no interest)

do you not know enough about her to be able to determine if she's truly busy? then go with your gut, no wrong answer

do you know that she's almost certainly not busy(for example, she has no job and doesn't go to school)? never speak to her again, fvck her.

Learn about punctuation and capitalization before trying to give advice to men.

 

[Sdives]

Yea she probably blowing you off. Most women don't like to be mean if they can avoid it. They operate in a much more subtle fashion than us guys.

I'm going to be persistent, this past week we talk allot and venturing into personal topics. I'm not going to ask again yet. She works in the gym. Im going to get to know her more and gauge it then.

 

[Sdives]

I hear stories of persistance paying off. I don't have oneites, when I do have oneites its not this at all. Were talking into personal topics for a long time at the gym.It could be possible that she wants to know me more first before a date.

Whats interesting is that she knows I like her, since the asking to coffee, but when we interact , she's not avoiding me or showing any disinterest. She's opening up more and we are talking more getting to know each other more personal and have long chats. Now you think ...if she was not interested she would be avoiding me brushing me off, or not having these talks we have.

I was 90% sure she liked me when I asked. Yet now we are getting to know each other more ... after me asking for a coffee date.

I dont think its dead yet. I'm think Im on the radar, usually she would pull back after me asking for coffee and do whatever it took to not show interest. But now we are Talking to each other more , way more than before I asked. Interesting.

 

[devilkingx2]

you want the cost of your date to come out of someone else's pocket? I assume you voted for Hillary?


Are you texting from an Obamaphone?


Learn about punctuation and capitalization before trying to give advice to men.

this is one weak ass roast, 2/10 i'm very undercooked.

If saving $20 is actually a factor when you take a woman out, it's time: get a job.

as for the only part worth the response, any amount of money wasted is too much. $20 can get me plenty of beer, it can get me at least a rainy day's worth of weed, it can get me a good old game, or a really ****ty new game, or one on sale or even an indie. it can take me to see a kickass movie too.

if i'm just going to give away $20 like i'm running a charity i'd rather give it to someone in need so i can at least feel good about helping someone out.

but hey, don't let me stop you from giving an upper middle class white girl with thousands in the bank the free meal she clearly desperately needs (and deserves for existing because she's a woman)

 

[MrWood]

she rejected coffee cuz she wants it on the gym equipment

 

[narcissist]

I hear stories of persistance paying off. I don't have oneites, when I do have oneites its not this at all. Were talking into personal topics for a long time at the gym.It could be possible that she wants to know me more first before a date.

Whats interesting is that she knows I like her, since the asking to coffee, but when we interact , she's not avoiding me or showing any disinterest. She's opening up more and we are talking more getting to know each other more personal and have long chats. Now you think ...if she was not interested she would be avoiding me brushing me off, or not having these talks we have.

I was 90% sure she liked me when I asked. Yet now we are getting to know each other more ... after me asking for a coffee date.

I dont think its dead yet. I'm think Im on the radar, usually she would pull back after me asking for coffee and do whatever it took to not show interest. But now we are Talking to each other more , way more than before I asked. Interesting.

troll is obvious

 

[Juanto]

troll is obvious

I second that