Lost my virginity a while ago; everytime me and my girl have sex she's on top and I don't have a problem with my erection. But when we try to switch it up aka doggy or missionary another night I lose my boner quick. Why is this happening?! I'm 20 and don't know what to do... Is it performance anxiety???
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Can't stay hard during sex
- Thread starter smoofle
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
- Reaction score
- 50
You should probably see a councilor or shrink about this.
Betamax
Don Juan
Been there, get help. There is nothing wrong with your equipment either.
It could be for a number of reasons. Mine was worry over the size, due to seeing too many porn films with guys with donkey/horse dong size erections. Once I came to realised that my 'little' 6 3/4 inch one was normal and those in porn films are 'freaks' I was fine thanks to a councilor
It could be for a number of reasons. Mine was worry over the size, due to seeing too many porn films with guys with donkey/horse dong size erections. Once I came to realised that my 'little' 6 3/4 inch one was normal and those in porn films are 'freaks' I was fine thanks to a councilor
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I'd say performance anxiety. This kind of thing can happen if you are second guessing whether she's really enjoying herself or not.
Does she make lots of noise on top and really get off? Then when you switch she's not as vocal or you can't tell if she's enjoying herself as much?
Encourage her to be as vocal and animated as possible.
The same way you are concerned about her enjoying herself. She feels the same way. Remember that she really wants to blow your mind during sex. Don't be afraid to be a little selfish. Go for it. The more passionate you are the more she will get turned on and of course the whole thing snowballs.
Does she make lots of noise on top and really get off? Then when you switch she's not as vocal or you can't tell if she's enjoying herself as much?
Encourage her to be as vocal and animated as possible.
The same way you are concerned about her enjoying herself. She feels the same way. Remember that she really wants to blow your mind during sex. Don't be afraid to be a little selfish. Go for it. The more passionate you are the more she will get turned on and of course the whole thing snowballs.
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2007
- Messages
- 1,855
- Reaction score
- 99
This is very good advise. Gain confidence in your abilities and you will overcome this.samspade said:
This is a fun challenge, enjoy it!
TheBucketOfTruth
Master Don Juan
It's just nerves. I went through the same thing early on.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.