Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Can you give guys give this gentleman some relationship advice?

Travel memoir21

Travel memoir21

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He's an anonymous gentleman at a Military Veteran Support Group I'm in. I'm sure you guys are more qualified to help than I am:



'Hello everyone.. I’m struggling right now..
My wife of 10 years asked for a separation.. my heart is absolutely shattered. I don’t have an appetite, I thought about overdosing last night, and I had to take this week off from work because I mentally cannot handle this right now.
I’ve failed as a man and a husband and I take 100% accountability for why this happened. I was so blind, complacent, and comfortable. A lot of things happened throughout the years that caused her a lot of pain. I am hurting so hard because I now fully understand the pain that I’ve caused, and I feel so much guilt. I’ve been so neglectful.. I just need to vent.. she said that she still loves and cares about me, but the door is cracked. She said she needs to find herself..'
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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BaronOfHair

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Travel memoir21 said:
I was so blind, complacent, and comfortable. A lot of things happened throughout the years that caused her a lot of pain. I am hurting so hard because I now fully understand the pain that I’ve caused, and I feel so much guilt. I’ve been so neglectful.. I just need to vent.. she said that she still loves and cares about me, but the door is cracked. She said she needs to find herself..'
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This is all extremely vague... What exactly happened?
 
Travel memoir21

Travel memoir21

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My Answer:

' Brother, this might be the best thing that ever happens to you. When you look back at the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being by yourself and at peace with your solitude. Being single has a lot of pros, you can go to places wherever you want and you can come and go wherever you please. Do you have kids with her? If you do, yes, it may sting a little bit. But she said she loves you and it can get better in the long run with time and if you get your sh1t together. Now's the best time for some self improvement, things like going to the Gym, getting some exercise, getting your brisk walks on and doing a lot of soul searching by reading a lot of books will do. Good luck man, you can do this.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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RoadKing_Rabbit

RoadKing_Rabbit

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Travel memoir21 said:
My Answer:

' Brother, this might be the best thing that ever happens to you. When you look back at the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being by yourself and at peace with your solitude. Being single has a lot of pros, you can go to places wherever you want and you can come and go wherever you please. Do you have kids with her? If you do, yes, it may sting a little bit. But she said she loves you and it can get better in the long run with time and if you get your sh1t together. Now's the best time for some self improvement, things like going to the Gym, getting some exercise, getting your brisk walks on and doing a lot of soul searching by reading a lot of books will do. Good luck man, you can do this.
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Better than nothing I suppose. I will also say that there are vagaries. How exactly was he neglectful? Was he really? Or is she being a drama queen?

And how did he "hurt her" over the years?
 
The Duke

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I was in a similar position many years ago so this is familiar to me. The best thing that helped me get thru it was having someone that was grounded, reasonable, and a good listener that I could talk to every day. It takes time to process it all. I had a good friend that helped me realize it wasn't all my fault, but it took a few months to convince me of that.

Keep him involved in doing fun activities so he doesn't isolate and get even more depressed.

Telling him its the best thing that could happen isn't what he needs to hear right now. Its too early for that. He has a mountain of grief to process first.
 
Travel memoir21

Travel memoir21

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The Duke said:
I was in a similar position many years ago so this is familiar to me. The best thing that helped me get thru it was having someone that was grounded, reasonable, and a good listener that I could talk to every day. It takes time to process it all. I had a good friend that helped me realize it wasn't all my fault, but it took a few months to convince me of that.

Keep him involved in doing fun activities so he doesn't isolate and get even more depressed.

Telling him its the best thing that could happen isn't what he needs to hear right now. Its too early for that. He has a mountain of grief to process first.
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Interesting, you were married. Got any kids?
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Sounds like he ignored her, was emotionally unavailable and might be into drugs and alcohol.

Wonder if he is suffering from PTSD or something similar and was too proud oranlt to seek treatment and that's causing issues.

Not much to say...chasing after her won't do any good. He needs to fix his own issues first and foremost before thinking about anyone else at this point.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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