"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Can you give guys give this gentleman some relationship advice?

Travel memoir21

Travel memoir21

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He's an anonymous gentleman at a Military Veteran Support Group I'm in. I'm sure you guys are more qualified to help than I am:



'Hello everyone.. I’m struggling right now..
My wife of 10 years asked for a separation.. my heart is absolutely shattered. I don’t have an appetite, I thought about overdosing last night, and I had to take this week off from work because I mentally cannot handle this right now.
I’ve failed as a man and a husband and I take 100% accountability for why this happened. I was so blind, complacent, and comfortable. A lot of things happened throughout the years that caused her a lot of pain. I am hurting so hard because I now fully understand the pain that I’ve caused, and I feel so much guilt. I’ve been so neglectful.. I just need to vent.. she said that she still loves and cares about me, but the door is cracked. She said she needs to find herself..'
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BaronOfHair

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Travel memoir21 said:
I was so blind, complacent, and comfortable. A lot of things happened throughout the years that caused her a lot of pain. I am hurting so hard because I now fully understand the pain that I’ve caused, and I feel so much guilt. I’ve been so neglectful.. I just need to vent.. she said that she still loves and cares about me, but the door is cracked. She said she needs to find herself..'
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This is all extremely vague... What exactly happened?
 
Travel memoir21

Travel memoir21

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My Answer:

' Brother, this might be the best thing that ever happens to you. When you look back at the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being by yourself and at peace with your solitude. Being single has a lot of pros, you can go to places wherever you want and you can come and go wherever you please. Do you have kids with her? If you do, yes, it may sting a little bit. But she said she loves you and it can get better in the long run with time and if you get your sh1t together. Now's the best time for some self improvement, things like going to the Gym, getting some exercise, getting your brisk walks on and doing a lot of soul searching by reading a lot of books will do. Good luck man, you can do this.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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RoadKing_Rabbit

RoadKing_Rabbit

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Travel memoir21 said:
My Answer:

' Brother, this might be the best thing that ever happens to you. When you look back at the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being by yourself and at peace with your solitude. Being single has a lot of pros, you can go to places wherever you want and you can come and go wherever you please. Do you have kids with her? If you do, yes, it may sting a little bit. But she said she loves you and it can get better in the long run with time and if you get your sh1t together. Now's the best time for some self improvement, things like going to the Gym, getting some exercise, getting your brisk walks on and doing a lot of soul searching by reading a lot of books will do. Good luck man, you can do this.
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Better than nothing I suppose. I will also say that there are vagaries. How exactly was he neglectful? Was he really? Or is she being a drama queen?

And how did he "hurt her" over the years?
 
The Duke

The Duke

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I was in a similar position many years ago so this is familiar to me. The best thing that helped me get thru it was having someone that was grounded, reasonable, and a good listener that I could talk to every day. It takes time to process it all. I had a good friend that helped me realize it wasn't all my fault, but it took a few months to convince me of that.

Keep him involved in doing fun activities so he doesn't isolate and get even more depressed.

Telling him its the best thing that could happen isn't what he needs to hear right now. Its too early for that. He has a mountain of grief to process first.
 
Travel memoir21

Travel memoir21

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The Duke said:
I was in a similar position many years ago so this is familiar to me. The best thing that helped me get thru it was having someone that was grounded, reasonable, and a good listener that I could talk to every day. It takes time to process it all. I had a good friend that helped me realize it wasn't all my fault, but it took a few months to convince me of that.

Keep him involved in doing fun activities so he doesn't isolate and get even more depressed.

Telling him its the best thing that could happen isn't what he needs to hear right now. Its too early for that. He has a mountain of grief to process first.
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Interesting, you were married. Got any kids?
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Sounds like he ignored her, was emotionally unavailable and might be into drugs and alcohol.

Wonder if he is suffering from PTSD or something similar and was too proud oranlt to seek treatment and that's causing issues.

Not much to say...chasing after her won't do any good. He needs to fix his own issues first and foremost before thinking about anyone else at this point.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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