"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Can a 45 year old guy really get a 30 or 35 year old girlfriend?

RazorRambo24

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Anyone can do anything.. This world isn't a video game with constraints and limits.

45 is not 75 years old man.. Theres plenty of dudes who are 45 who are doing their thing. 30-35?.. Some 45 yr olds are banging 20-30 yr olds breh
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ManFromTartarus

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listening to women with a string of short term failed relationships
I don't know where you're getting that from but coming up with complete fabrications isn't giving you any credibility.

You're stepping on your own d1ck, just give up fool.
 

pipeman84

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I don't know where you're getting that from but coming up with complete fabrications isn't giving you any credibility.

You're stepping on your own d1ck, just give up fool.
No better way to show you've lost the debate than starting to insult. ;)

I say this not only from what I've read and been told by women,
Were all these women virgins? Otherwise it's a fact they have failed relationships on their resume.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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The only reason our relationship did not continue when we lived closer was because I would not agree to marry her. She was the one that wanted it - and spoke of it incessantly.

Take it as you wish, it’s history now.

I see your point but do you consider this a "serious relationship" like OP is asking?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Stanley

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I see guys in their 40s with women in their 30s all the damn time. A ten year gap post 30 is hardly anything.
 

Plinco

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Imagine being in my shoes OP

I'm 39 and I'm mostly attracted to 18 to 22. If I can live with that, you can live with your age gaps
 

Hamurabimbi

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Success in this endeavor requires the man to be desirable. To make up for the age difference you must be handsome, fit and look youngish. And. Most of all: Lucky. There are girls who like older men. Mostly it is luck to find them.
 

HaleyBaron

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Are the guys at sosuave kidding themselves when they say this is possible? When I go out in public I rarely see a guy in a serious relationship with a woman that is 15 years younger then him. If he doesnt have fame or lots of money then is this even realistic?
You've never seen fathers walking around with their daughters to go shopping?
 

Snag87

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I'm 35 and have two 24 year olds who are practically begging to be in a relationship with me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Murk

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For sure. Though I would agree with the sentiment 10 years seems to be the practical limit. After that you are flirting with different generations.

I have 3 buddies (2 married, 1 engaged) that are 41, 43, and 49. Their wives are 33, 34, and 37 respectively. They aren’t Chads.

There are a ton of professional women out there in big cities 30-35 years old that are desperate to find a man. I think they’ll take any man that pays taxes to be honest.
Yeah, that's why 30+ year old women will date anyone, desperation.

It's the early 20s crew that might be more picky, but still very doable for a 40+ year old man, you just need something about you.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Are the guys at sosuave kidding themselves when they say this is possible? When I go out in public I rarely see a guy in a serious relationship with a woman that is 15 years younger then him. If he doesnt have fame or lots of money then is this even realistic?
Most of the couples you see in public involve simps.

Think about it; at any given time, is a typical woman more to be in a relationship with a simp who she has wrapped around her fingers, or a loose cannon she cannot control? Nowadays, i'd argue the former (especially younger women).

Furthermore, most of the high value older men who are with younger women are almost unquestionably wealthy, so I doubt you're seeing them on the streets.

Also the idea of a 40+ year old man getting a 30-35 year old is unquestionable easy. If you're talking 45-50+ with a 20-30 year old, yes that's more rare but not exactly unheard of.
 

corrector

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I was with my ex wife a total of 18 years, I met and started dating her when she was 18 and I was 28.
I was 46 when we parted company.
At least you were with each other during the better part of your life.
 

Snag87

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Yeah, that's why 30+ year old women will date anyone, desperation.

It's the early 20s crew that might be more picky, but still very doable for a 40+ year old man, you just need something about you.
Very few 30s women are desperate. Their primary issue is commitment from high-quality men.
 

Snag87

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Most of the couples you see in public involve simps.

Think about it; at any given time, is a typical woman more to be in a relationship with a simp who she has wrapped around her fingers, or a loose cannon she cannot control? Nowadays, i'd argue the former (especially younger women).

Furthermore, most of the high value older men who are with younger women are almost unquestionably wealthy, so I doubt you're seeing them on the streets.

Also the idea of a 40+ year old man getting a 30-35 year old is unquestionable easy. If you're talking 45-50+ with a 20-30 year old, yes that's more rare but not exactly unheard of.
I know a girl who was hankering for a "rich, educated man" in her early 20s. Ended up in a relationship with a 49 year old CEO at age 23. They're still together to my knowledge.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Who Dares Win

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I strongly believe that it's possible.

While I dont find possible for a guy in his mid to alte 30s to get a girl in her early 20s unless special conditions in terms on LMS exist, in this case I believe that not only it's possible but can be achieved even for decent men lacking extraordinary value.

Decent shape, decent life style and a decent look are enough especially given that sharp decrease in demand toward women in their early 30s compared to the younget stock.

A man in his mid 40s is as old as a woman in her mid 30s.
 

LucilleGould

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Hey man, what's up? I'm new here, but I wanted to chime in on your post. First off, those guys might not be kidding themselves. It's all about how you present yourself and your confidence. If you exude positivity and charm, you might just catch the eye of a younger gal.
 

Solomon

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Cope.

Translation: “because I’m incapable of it, it cannot be done.”

In my mid to late 40’s I was consistently bagging 20-30 year olds, like every single night of the week. Location had a bit to do with it. One point I maintained an LTR with a 19 year old for a year. Fast forward a few years, she drives 16+ hours to see me a few times a year for the weekend, I’m in my mid 50’s and she’s in her mid 20’s.

I’m not 6’ tall, I’m not mercilessly ripped but I’m muscular, I’m not famous, I’m not a millionaire and I’m not paying for it.

You mileage may vary.
^^THIS

If you're an average 45 year old you can get a subpar/fulgy 30 year old

If you decent shape got 6 figures plus you can get that easily and heck even lower 25+

If you making 45K a year OP than you better have Zyzz aesthetics.
 

MulteMach

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What things specifically can a man in his 40s do to increase his chances of getting a woman in her 30s?
 

Stuffnu

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Yes, genetics aside but as I age, I’ve lost the fear to talk to them.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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