You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How does one find themselves -- the best routine for oneself?Originally posted by Warboss Alex
There's no need to gain any fat while gaining muscle.
However, I can't answer your questions since they're entirely dependent on you. If I told you I do four morning cardio sessions a week at 30 minutes a time after taking 400mg green tea extract and take a good brisk walk every evening plus that I cut out all starchy carbs a few hours before bed, avoid milk but eat cottage cheese and don't use Daz washing powder because it gives me a rash, would you do the same? You could but there's hardly any chance it'd be exactly what you need.
This sport is all about finding about YOURSELF. What works for you and what doesn't, what foods/food combinations you can eat to optimally gain while controlling or even lowering bodyfat - it takes time, trial and error. I put on fat and lost muscle to find out what worked for me and I'm still learning even after several years of training.
Cardio will NOT inhibit your mass gains, that's one of the most stupidest bodybuilding fallacies ever (and there's a few for sure!) - however I don't mean that a 3-hour run every day by cardio, I mean basic sessions of low-intensity and HIIT to control bodyfat and promote cardiovascular health; some people have issues with running and losing leg mass, others don't - I can't do HIIT regularly and train legs at peak efficiency, maybe you can, I don't know.
You'll have to find that out here - I suggest 3-4 a.m. cardio sessions of 20-30 minutes on an empty stomach (on your offdays); that's enough to be getting on with, take things from there. Maybe you'll be able to get away with two sessions or maybe your lifestyle'll keep you lean, I don't know - you'll just have to see.
Your size shouldn't inhibit your routines in any way, start off with compound exercises, low weights and good form, progress steadily and there's no reason why you won't gain muscle. Being short is an advantage here - most olympic weightlifters aren't very tall. (I'm talking about the lifting, not aesthetic merits)
But really, for now all you have concentrate on is learning the basic exercises - squats, deadlifts, presses and rows plus dips and chinups and EATING. Eat your arse off (quality food though) and see how you go. Don't think, just do - after a month check your weight/waist etc and see where you are. From then on, make adjustments. Good luck mate!
Fitch is not a beginner. His question asked about how to find out what's best for someone - and you can only do that by getting on some sort of basic split and changing stuff around until you're making the progress you want.**** using a split for a begginer.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.