"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Building deep rapport.

david90

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I have no problem making a girl laugh when I first meet her. I make her laugh by messing around, telling jokes, misinterpreting and being sarcastic. The girl enjoys my company but I can tell that the rapport i'm building by entertaining her is very superficial. I feel that there is no emotional connecting between me and the gril.

How do I take it to the next level and build a rapport/trust with the girl that is comparable to the rapport/trust between best friends?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Cronus

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I got this.....

This was one of my problems BIG time. I would keep teasing and entertaining, but I would get nowhere. All you have to do, after you got her interested and kept her through the intial stage, is ask more personal questions. Simple.

This is where the conversation skills come in. Ask her name, where she is from, what is she doing, what did she do this weekend. It is important to get her involved in the conversation. If she willingly gets involved, then you know she is interested and can pursue something else.

For example, you just met a chick at subway and teased her about her choice of sandwich, how can she put mustard on a sandwich, doesn't she know that it is only for hotdogs?:p

Intro yourself exchange names.
Where is she from?
Her: blah, blah, blah (she is now contributing to the conv, she didn't have to tell you)
You: I hear that it is (blah blah) there, where I'm from it is (blah blah)

[this gives her two threads to talk about, what it is like where she is from, or asks where you are from, If she continues the conv. from this point, you are in.]

You/Her: Continue conversation

You can now sit and eat with her, or you can get her number and leave.


The more interesting and longer conversation you had with her results in a better chance of her not flaking at a later time.
 

cyp6

Master Don Juan
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Cronus said:
This was one of my problems BIG time. I would keep teasing and entertaining, but I would get nowhere. All you have to do, after you got her interested and kept her through the intial stage, is ask more personal questions. Simple.

This is where the conversation skills come in. Ask her name, where she is from, what is she doing, what did she do this weekend. It is important to get her involved in the conversation. If she willingly gets involved, then you know she is interested and can pursue something else.

For example, you just met a chick at subway and teased her about her choice of sandwich, how can she put mustard on a sandwich, doesn't she know that it is only for hotdogs?:p

Intro yourself exchange names.
Where is she from?
Her: blah, blah, blah (she is now contributing to the conv, she didn't have to tell you)
You: I hear that it is (blah blah) there, where I'm from it is (blah blah)

[this gives her two threads to talk about, what it is like where she is from, or asks where you are from, If she continues the conv. from this point, you are in.]

You/Her: Continue conversation

You can now sit and eat with her, or you can get her number and leave.


The more interesting and longer conversation you had with her results in a better chance of her not flaking at a later time.
yes! you can funny while your doing this... so you can be ur self while getting deeper and deeper with the convo.
 

david90

Senior Don Juan
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Cronus said:
This was one of my problems BIG time. I would keep teasing and entertaining, but I would get nowhere. All you have to do, after you got her interested and kept her through the intial stage, is ask more personal questions. Simple.

This is where the conversation skills come in. Ask her name, where she is from, what is she doing, what did she do this weekend. It is important to get her involved in the conversation. If she willingly gets involved, then you know she is interested and can pursue something else.

For example, you just met a chick at subway and teased her about her choice of sandwich, how can she put mustard on a sandwich, doesn't she know that it is only for hotdogs?:p

Intro yourself exchange names.
Where is she from?
Her: blah, blah, blah (she is now contributing to the conv, she didn't have to tell you)
You: I hear that it is (blah blah) there, where I'm from it is (blah blah)

[this gives her two threads to talk about, what it is like where she is from, or asks where you are from, If she continues the conv. from this point, you are in.]

You/Her: Continue conversation

You can now sit and eat with her, or you can get her number and leave.


The more interesting and longer conversation you had with her results in a better chance of her not flaking at a later time.
Any other tips? Is there a thread that you recommend me reading? Where the heck is the bible?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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