"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Buffers

The Bat

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Rollo Tomassi said:
I should also add that it's this very facility that makes women hate it (when they do). Porn gives a guy his reward for free; a reward that should be her single best agency is rendered valueless when a man can get off to an infinite variety of sexual experience at the click of a mouse. It's unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability.
Hmm, interesting. I can see how if you are seeing somebody, using "I love porn and will continue to enjoy it even if we are together" tactic can get you an upper hand in the relationship.

But I thought women hated their men watching porn because it was another form of cheating? I guess that's what you're trying to get at there.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Rollo Tomassi

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BAT, the idea that a man viewing / using porn is equitable to infidelity is a feminine operative convention - namely shame. Women masturbating is liberating or empowering, if not downright sexy. A man masturbating is failure, perversion and vile. Why do you suppose that is? What would be the latent function or purpose of this social convention? It reinforces women's sexuality as being a prize to be sure, but if men can (and regularly do) achieve that same prize (or can simulate it well enough) her sexuality as a commodity becomes devalued. Therefore male self-pleasuring deprives her of her first best agency with men.

Thats from the feminine side of the equation. The Buffer for men is that by chronically masturbating and rewarding himself solo, he loses the motivation to learn the social skills necessary to interact successfully with women.
 

MatureDJ

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Latinoman said:
There is no way I could out DJ a man in his 40s or 50s for the attention of a woman in her 40s. Heck, it is very difficult to out DJ a man in his 40s for a woman in her mid 30s. Although, I can out DJ them (men in 40s+ and 20s) for women in their upper 20s and 30s. It is what it is.
Tell you what, you don't have to worry about a 45 y.o. man like me competing against you for the mid 30's women. I'll go for the young 20's. :yes:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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