gongxia649
Don Juan
what are the signs when she wants to break up with you? I don't know if shes acting different or my mind is playing me.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
gongxia649 said:what are the signs when she wants to break up with you? I don't know if shes acting different or my mind is playing me.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
resilient said:Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.
The first day of the rest of your life starts today
...if you decide to step forward and take action. Don't try to turn her into a FB either. That just creates more drama and it ain't worth it when your #2, and she's got another guy as #1. Get better and become the prize. One phrase for me never gets old: Living well is the best revenge.
Some material from the master don juan himself; Pook, to get you reinspired:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541 (Broken up? No... you dodged the bullet!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=22213 (Endure!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=77691 (A Second Life)
I could write it a bit better than this brother but what the hell. He's right.cactus3178 said:Okay, your company let you go and your girl dumped you.
This is the sh*t that seperates the men from the boys. One year is indeed an investment, but nothing to freak out over. I'm sure things were at one time very well.
The first thing you should do is start looking for another job. Take care of yourself, get up every day, take a shower...get cleaned up...fresh clothes, shaved, get out of the house.
Spend time with friends.
Re-read the DJB. Don't contact her.
If this is a factor, you weren't 'about to become a DJ'. Get yourself straight. Don't feed into the bullsh*t with this girl. It's over. Recognize it and don't f*ck yourself by trying to analyze it to death. It's okay to learn from your mistakes (if any) you made with this foray, but not right now.
After a year, you should be able to count on her when you need her. You couldn't, so this is really a blessing in disguise.
-Truly- better yourself......this means making changes in your life, both mental and with your routine......don't underestimate the words of wisdom inthe DJB......get a new job, go out with friends and have fun....then when you ready, give 'em hell.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
great post. this helsp me alot. i couldnt find this thread cause i was using 'breakup' to search.donpepot said:hey... next time your seeking som answers try your best to read the others treads ...this one will surely be helpfull to your prob http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=100939(what to do if she breaks up with you)...
Monkey said:She won't
LOL, that's what my last ex did. She sent me a cold email saying she wants a "break" I never responded to her email. Exactly a month later, BEFORE my birthday.. (can you believe it) she emails me asking for specific items to be returned to her. I did not respond to her. I didn't learn this breakup rule from anyone but from my own last experience before this ex. I learned from my last last ex that just completely cutting off all contact is the best decision.resilient said:Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.