"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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break up signs

gongxia649

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what are the signs when she wants to break up with you? I don't know if shes acting different or my mind is playing me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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gongxia649

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forget about the ****ing signs.

its over...i dont know what to say now.
i still think she was with me for the sex. ****ing *****.

im so pissed and sad.

weve been together for 1 year. she told me she liked me, she loved me.

This week my company let me go. i needed some support but she was not there with me. i cant believe it. she backstabbed me.

i called her during the last days, shes always telling me shes busy. i was about to become a dj. now all of the sudden i became a AFC, and drama king.

i have to get over this asap.
 

cactus3178

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Okay, your company let you go and your girl dumped you.

This is the sh*t that seperates the men from the boys. One year is indeed an investment, but nothing to freak out over. I'm sure things were at one time very well.

The first thing you should do is start looking for another job. Take care of yourself, get up every day, take a shower...get cleaned up...fresh clothes, shaved, get out of the house.

Spend time with friends.

Re-read the DJB. Don't contact her.

If this is a factor, you weren't 'about to become a DJ'. Get yourself straight. Don't feed into the bullsh*t with this girl. It's over. Recognize it and don't f*ck yourself by trying to analyze it to death. It's okay to learn from your mistakes (if any) you made with this foray, but not right now.

After a year, you should be able to count on her when you need her. You couldn't, so this is really a blessing in disguise.

-Truly- better yourself......this means making changes in your life, both mental and with your routine......don't underestimate the words of wisdom inthe DJB......get a new job, go out with friends and have fun....then when you ready, give 'em hell.
 

gongxia649

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thanks for the advice. i already deleted her phone number. im not going to callher.

so what about if she calls me?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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resilient

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Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.

The first day of the rest of your life starts today

...if you decide to step forward and take action. Don't try to turn her into a FB either. That just creates more drama and it ain't worth it when your #2, and she's got another guy as #1. Get better and become the prize. One phrase for me never gets old: Living well is the best revenge.

Some material from the master don juan himself; Pook, to get you reinspired:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541 (Broken up? No... you dodged the bullet!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=22213 (Endure!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=77691 (A Second Life)
 

00Kevin

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gongxia649 said:
what are the signs when she wants to break up with you? I don't know if shes acting different or my mind is playing me.

If you are asking that question that is the first sign.

Just go with your instincts.

Remember she is the one that you are interviewing. She either is your woman or she isn't. What do you care if she breaks up with you. That just answers the question for you.

What you need to do is qualify her. When you start to fear that a girl is going to break up with you it is because you haven't qualified her for a while.

Do you know what I mean by qualifiing her?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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00Kevin

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resilient said:
Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.

The first day of the rest of your life starts today

...if you decide to step forward and take action. Don't try to turn her into a FB either. That just creates more drama and it ain't worth it when your #2, and she's got another guy as #1. Get better and become the prize. One phrase for me never gets old: Living well is the best revenge.

Some material from the master don juan himself; Pook, to get you reinspired:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541 (Broken up? No... you dodged the bullet!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=22213 (Endure!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=77691 (A Second Life)

Women like this are totally useless. :)
 

KarmaSutra

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cactus3178 said:
Okay, your company let you go and your girl dumped you.

This is the sh*t that seperates the men from the boys. One year is indeed an investment, but nothing to freak out over. I'm sure things were at one time very well.

The first thing you should do is start looking for another job. Take care of yourself, get up every day, take a shower...get cleaned up...fresh clothes, shaved, get out of the house.

Spend time with friends.

Re-read the DJB. Don't contact her.

If this is a factor, you weren't 'about to become a DJ'. Get yourself straight. Don't feed into the bullsh*t with this girl. It's over. Recognize it and don't f*ck yourself by trying to analyze it to death. It's okay to learn from your mistakes (if any) you made with this foray, but not right now.

After a year, you should be able to count on her when you need her. You couldn't, so this is really a blessing in disguise.

-Truly- better yourself......this means making changes in your life, both mental and with your routine......don't underestimate the words of wisdom inthe DJB......get a new job, go out with friends and have fun....then when you ready, give 'em hell.
I could write it a bit better than this brother but what the hell. He's right.
 

T Square

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This is all good advice here. A similar thing happened to me a few months back.

Just focus on all the bad things about her. It will help keep you from missing her. Plus, if she was a real b****, it will make you mad. You can use your anger to push you to better yourself (get a new job).

I agree that the best revenge is living a good life. The better you make yourself, the more she'll regret leaving you (I know you actually broke it off with her, but she started by being distant).

Don't contact her. Leave her wondering about how you're doing. If she calls, don't answer the phone. Don't give her the pleasure of getting closure.
 

MightyMate

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If You feel she wants to break up. It will prolly happen. No need for reading sings like natives. It will happen because of two reasons.
1. You think it will happen so Your mind gonna make it
2. You fill its gonna happen coz its just really happening.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Macgyver

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Dude, she wasn't the right person for you. Don't worry about it, be glad you're not wasting time with someone that's incompatible with you. I wouldn't worry too much about any signs of breakup, if your gut feeling says this person ain't right for me, you'll get that feeling much sooner before you even think about breaking up.

There are so many ways to get over a breakup, I'll give you a couple:

1. Join a volunteer group, volunteer for once in your life or at least join a social activity group.
2. Go back to school and look at what associates degree/certificate you can get.
3. Lose X amount of pounds, get that six pack you've always wanted in 3 months.
4. Now that you're single, you got more money to spend.. ON YOURSELF, buy some new clothes, fix up your apartment/car.
5. Go to the library, get some books on how to improve yourself or even go for those fictional books to play with your brain.

Whatever you do, don't be like weak minded women who are in a rush to date someone new. You should be completely alone at least one month, and perhaps start looking again on the 2nd or 3rd month. Cause during this time you will reassess your life, YOU have to do this, don't you want to be a better person. Trust me, within 2-3 months you'll be 50% better than you were before the breakup.

resilient's post is pretty much spot on, but I just wanted to add some of my own comments.
 

Macgyver

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resilient said:
Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.
LOL, that's what my last ex did. She sent me a cold email saying she wants a "break" I never responded to her email. Exactly a month later, BEFORE my birthday.. (can you believe it) she emails me asking for specific items to be returned to her. I did not respond to her. I didn't learn this breakup rule from anyone but from my own last experience before this ex. I learned from my last last ex that just completely cutting off all contact is the best decision.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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