gongxia649
Don Juan
what are the signs when she wants to break up with you? I don't know if shes acting different or my mind is playing me.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
break up signs
- Thread starter gongxia649
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
gongxia649
Don Juan
forget about the ****ing signs.
its over...i dont know what to say now.
i still think she was with me for the sex. ****ing *****.
im so pissed and sad.
weve been together for 1 year. she told me she liked me, she loved me.
This week my company let me go. i needed some support but she was not there with me. i cant believe it. she backstabbed me.
i called her during the last days, shes always telling me shes busy. i was about to become a dj. now all of the sudden i became a AFC, and drama king.
i have to get over this asap.
its over...i dont know what to say now.
i still think she was with me for the sex. ****ing *****.
im so pissed and sad.
weve been together for 1 year. she told me she liked me, she loved me.
This week my company let me go. i needed some support but she was not there with me. i cant believe it. she backstabbed me.
i called her during the last days, shes always telling me shes busy. i was about to become a dj. now all of the sudden i became a AFC, and drama king.
i have to get over this asap.
cactus3178
Senior Don Juan
Okay, your company let you go and your girl dumped you.
This is the sh*t that seperates the men from the boys. One year is indeed an investment, but nothing to freak out over. I'm sure things were at one time very well.
The first thing you should do is start looking for another job. Take care of yourself, get up every day, take a shower...get cleaned up...fresh clothes, shaved, get out of the house.
Spend time with friends.
Re-read the DJB. Don't contact her.
If this is a factor, you weren't 'about to become a DJ'. Get yourself straight. Don't feed into the bullsh*t with this girl. It's over. Recognize it and don't f*ck yourself by trying to analyze it to death. It's okay to learn from your mistakes (if any) you made with this foray, but not right now.
After a year, you should be able to count on her when you need her. You couldn't, so this is really a blessing in disguise.
-Truly- better yourself......this means making changes in your life, both mental and with your routine......don't underestimate the words of wisdom inthe DJB......get a new job, go out with friends and have fun....then when you ready, give 'em hell.
This is the sh*t that seperates the men from the boys. One year is indeed an investment, but nothing to freak out over. I'm sure things were at one time very well.
The first thing you should do is start looking for another job. Take care of yourself, get up every day, take a shower...get cleaned up...fresh clothes, shaved, get out of the house.
Spend time with friends.
Re-read the DJB. Don't contact her.
If this is a factor, you weren't 'about to become a DJ'. Get yourself straight. Don't feed into the bullsh*t with this girl. It's over. Recognize it and don't f*ck yourself by trying to analyze it to death. It's okay to learn from your mistakes (if any) you made with this foray, but not right now.
After a year, you should be able to count on her when you need her. You couldn't, so this is really a blessing in disguise.
-Truly- better yourself......this means making changes in your life, both mental and with your routine......don't underestimate the words of wisdom inthe DJB......get a new job, go out with friends and have fun....then when you ready, give 'em hell.
gongxia649
Don Juan
thanks for the advice. i already deleted her phone number. im not going to callher.
so what about if she calls me?
so what about if she calls me?
Monkey
Master Don Juan
She won't
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
resilient
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2005
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- 1,636
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Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.
The first day of the rest of your life starts today
...if you decide to step forward and take action. Don't try to turn her into a FB either. That just creates more drama and it ain't worth it when your #2, and she's got another guy as #1. Get better and become the prize. One phrase for me never gets old: Living well is the best revenge.
Some material from the master don juan himself; Pook, to get you reinspired:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541 (Broken up? No... you dodged the bullet!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=22213 (Endure!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=77691 (A Second Life)
The first day of the rest of your life starts today
...if you decide to step forward and take action. Don't try to turn her into a FB either. That just creates more drama and it ain't worth it when your #2, and she's got another guy as #1. Get better and become the prize. One phrase for me never gets old: Living well is the best revenge.
Some material from the master don juan himself; Pook, to get you reinspired:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541 (Broken up? No... you dodged the bullet!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=22213 (Endure!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=77691 (A Second Life)
gongxia649
Don Juan
what am i gonna say if she calls.p
gongxia649
Don Juan
by the way i was the one who said break up.. she agreed.
gongxia649
Don Juan
bump
gongxia649 said:
If you are asking that question that is the first sign.
Just go with your instincts.
Remember she is the one that you are interviewing. She either is your woman or she isn't. What do you care if she breaks up with you. That just answers the question for you.
What you need to do is qualify her. When you start to fear that a girl is going to break up with you it is because you haven't qualified her for a while.
Do you know what I mean by qualifiing her?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
KarmaSutra
Banned
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2005
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I could write it a bit better than this brother but what the hell. He's right.cactus3178 said:
hey... next time your seeking som answers try your best to read the others treads ...this one will surely be helpfull to your prob http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=100939(what to do if she breaks up with you)...
T Square
Don Juan
This is all good advice here. A similar thing happened to me a few months back.
Just focus on all the bad things about her. It will help keep you from missing her. Plus, if she was a real b****, it will make you mad. You can use your anger to push you to better yourself (get a new job).
I agree that the best revenge is living a good life. The better you make yourself, the more she'll regret leaving you (I know you actually broke it off with her, but she started by being distant).
Don't contact her. Leave her wondering about how you're doing. If she calls, don't answer the phone. Don't give her the pleasure of getting closure.
Just focus on all the bad things about her. It will help keep you from missing her. Plus, if she was a real b****, it will make you mad. You can use your anger to push you to better yourself (get a new job).
I agree that the best revenge is living a good life. The better you make yourself, the more she'll regret leaving you (I know you actually broke it off with her, but she started by being distant).
Don't contact her. Leave her wondering about how you're doing. If she calls, don't answer the phone. Don't give her the pleasure of getting closure.
MightyMate
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2005
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If You feel she wants to break up. It will prolly happen. No need for reading sings like natives. It will happen because of two reasons.
1. You think it will happen so Your mind gonna make it
2. You fill its gonna happen coz its just really happening.
1. You think it will happen so Your mind gonna make it
2. You fill its gonna happen coz its just really happening.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
gongxia649
Don Juan
great post. this helsp me alot. i couldnt find this thread cause i was using 'breakup' to search.donpepot said:
thanks again.
Dude, she wasn't the right person for you. Don't worry about it, be glad you're not wasting time with someone that's incompatible with you. I wouldn't worry too much about any signs of breakup, if your gut feeling says this person ain't right for me, you'll get that feeling much sooner before you even think about breaking up.
There are so many ways to get over a breakup, I'll give you a couple:
1. Join a volunteer group, volunteer for once in your life or at least join a social activity group.
2. Go back to school and look at what associates degree/certificate you can get.
3. Lose X amount of pounds, get that six pack you've always wanted in 3 months.
4. Now that you're single, you got more money to spend.. ON YOURSELF, buy some new clothes, fix up your apartment/car.
5. Go to the library, get some books on how to improve yourself or even go for those fictional books to play with your brain.
Whatever you do, don't be like weak minded women who are in a rush to date someone new. You should be completely alone at least one month, and perhaps start looking again on the 2nd or 3rd month. Cause during this time you will reassess your life, YOU have to do this, don't you want to be a better person. Trust me, within 2-3 months you'll be 50% better than you were before the breakup.
resilient's post is pretty much spot on, but I just wanted to add some of my own comments.
There are so many ways to get over a breakup, I'll give you a couple:
1. Join a volunteer group, volunteer for once in your life or at least join a social activity group.
2. Go back to school and look at what associates degree/certificate you can get.
3. Lose X amount of pounds, get that six pack you've always wanted in 3 months.
4. Now that you're single, you got more money to spend.. ON YOURSELF, buy some new clothes, fix up your apartment/car.
5. Go to the library, get some books on how to improve yourself or even go for those fictional books to play with your brain.
Whatever you do, don't be like weak minded women who are in a rush to date someone new. You should be completely alone at least one month, and perhaps start looking again on the 2nd or 3rd month. Cause during this time you will reassess your life, YOU have to do this, don't you want to be a better person. Trust me, within 2-3 months you'll be 50% better than you were before the breakup.
resilient's post is pretty much spot on, but I just wanted to add some of my own comments.
LOL, that's what my last ex did. She sent me a cold email saying she wants a "break" I never responded to her email. Exactly a month later, BEFORE my birthday.. (can you believe it) she emails me asking for specific items to be returned to her. I did not respond to her. I didn't learn this breakup rule from anyone but from my own last experience before this ex. I learned from my last last ex that just completely cutting off all contact is the best decision.resilient said:
gongxia649
Don Juan
thanks
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.