gongxia649
Don Juan
what are the signs when she wants to break up with you? I don't know if shes acting different or my mind is playing me.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
gongxia649 said:what are the signs when she wants to break up with you? I don't know if shes acting different or my mind is playing me.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
resilient said:Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.
The first day of the rest of your life starts today
...if you decide to step forward and take action. Don't try to turn her into a FB either. That just creates more drama and it ain't worth it when your #2, and she's got another guy as #1. Get better and become the prize. One phrase for me never gets old: Living well is the best revenge.
Some material from the master don juan himself; Pook, to get you reinspired:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60541 (Broken up? No... you dodged the bullet!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=22213 (Endure!)
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=77691 (A Second Life)
I could write it a bit better than this brother but what the hell. He's right.cactus3178 said:Okay, your company let you go and your girl dumped you.
This is the sh*t that seperates the men from the boys. One year is indeed an investment, but nothing to freak out over. I'm sure things were at one time very well.
The first thing you should do is start looking for another job. Take care of yourself, get up every day, take a shower...get cleaned up...fresh clothes, shaved, get out of the house.
Spend time with friends.
Re-read the DJB. Don't contact her.
If this is a factor, you weren't 'about to become a DJ'. Get yourself straight. Don't feed into the bullsh*t with this girl. It's over. Recognize it and don't f*ck yourself by trying to analyze it to death. It's okay to learn from your mistakes (if any) you made with this foray, but not right now.
After a year, you should be able to count on her when you need her. You couldn't, so this is really a blessing in disguise.
-Truly- better yourself......this means making changes in your life, both mental and with your routine......don't underestimate the words of wisdom inthe DJB......get a new job, go out with friends and have fun....then when you ready, give 'em hell.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
great post. this helsp me alot. i couldnt find this thread cause i was using 'breakup' to search.donpepot said:hey... next time your seeking som answers try your best to read the others treads ...this one will surely be helpfull to your prob http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=100939(what to do if she breaks up with you)...
Monkey said:She won't
LOL, that's what my last ex did. She sent me a cold email saying she wants a "break" I never responded to her email. Exactly a month later, BEFORE my birthday.. (can you believe it) she emails me asking for specific items to be returned to her. I did not respond to her. I didn't learn this breakup rule from anyone but from my own last experience before this ex. I learned from my last last ex that just completely cutting off all contact is the best decision.resilient said:Women need time to get over relationships. They'll usually sleep with someone new right after and then the old feelings of you begin to drop off the map. Like most girls, you'll probably get an email/call after a month or so to play "check up" or try to remain "friends", just to see what became of you after her.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.