"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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bpd vs bipolar

tesla8520

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This is simply a curiosity. I don't expect many people to be interested.

That said, there's been a lot of discussion about borderline disorder, but very little about bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder, which involves what are called mood "episodes." An episode is a period of time, at least several days but usually 1-2 weeks or more, in which there are significant and persistent changes in overall mood compared to a normal, well-functioning baseline. A depressive episode is the one most familiar to most people, because it essentially has all the characteristics of major depressive disorder (in fact, MDD is also known as "unipolar depression," as opposed to bipolar). The other pole is what's called a manic episode, during which the person with the disorder experiences at least several days of very elevated or expansive mood, though often very unstable; They also typically have increased general activity, initiate unrealistic plans, and act very impulsively. They may also be paranoid and develop severe delusions, and typically feel as if their need for sleep has decreased. Sometimes, mania feels GREAT for sufferers while they're in a manic state, and they can put themselves in real danger due to the resulting delusions and impulsivity.

Borderline personality disorder is somewhat less understood, and while the DSM has a fairly stable description, there's a bit more criticism and some alternative ideas. But, as we currently understand it, BPD is a personality disorder: while we believe bipolar disorder is caused by problems with brain function that lead to the emergence of mood episodes, BPD is more related to habits, relationships, and cognition. To simplify, we think of bipolar disorder as more related to the "brain" and borderline is more related to the "mind." Characteristics of BPD include a lack of a strong sense of self, extreme fear of abandonment (and concomitant extreme reactions to real or perceived abandonment), unstable emotional reactions, and impulsivity. People with BPD tend to rapidly alternate between emotional extremes, lacking a stable middle ground between despair and euphoria, and often seem to change personality on a whim. Unlike the mood episodes of bipolar disorder, which typically last at least several days, mood swings in BPD can be extremely rapid, with sufferers going from euphoria to despair and back again, sometimes in the space of a single conversation.

If you've read the difference, now you have a general understanding of what we're talking about.

So, how do we distinguish between a woman and the other?
Have you ever had relationships with women who have had bipolar disorder and women who have had BPD, and how did they differ?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BaronOfHair

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@tesla8520 "So, how do we distinguish between a woman and the other?"

Unless we're shrinks working a client, we DON'T!!! Instead, we inquire as to whether or not a gal brings more discord than peace into our lives, then act accordingly
 

Prepostereax

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What if she has both, lol

"Oh, a snake!

I wonder if it's an adder or a viper?
Maybe it's a rattler or a cobra?
Shall we fk around and find out?
"
 

BackInTheGame78

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No need to over analyze this stuff, just listen to Ava Max's advice on the subject matter, with the key overall point in bold:

"'Grab a cop gun' kinda crazy,
she's poison but tasty
Yeah, people say,
'Run, don't walk away'

'Cause she's sweet but a psycho,
a little bit psycho
At night, she's screamin',
"I'm-ma-ma-ma out my mind"

See, someone said, 'Don't drink her potions
She'll kiss your neck with no emotion
When she's mean, you know you love it
'Cause she tastes so sweet, don't sugarcoat it'

No, no, you'll play along
Let her lead you on
You'll be saying, 'No (no, no, no), no (no)'
Then saying, "Yes, yes, yes"
'Cause she messin' with your head (hey!)"
 

sevbucmash

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When you meet women, and not just theorize about them on forums. When your dating is not just online swipes and daily masturbation. When you go out, meet women, have sex. When you interact with many women, your brain naturally recognizes what is normal. You inadvertently become a psychologist, and anything out of ordinary stands out and scream at you. So you don't need to worry about this subject, instead focus on acquiring that experience with women.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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tesla8520

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Female bipolars can usually function in society. BPDs are usually hot, tattooed, unemployed, chain smoking, drug addict...and I need to stop talking about my ex.
Do female bipolar have abandonment issues too?
 

Bible_Belt

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Do female bipolar have abandonment issues too?
That's a good question. A traumatic abandoned in the past is a hallmark of bpd, but I don't think they have a monopoly on it.

A friend of mine has a wife that I think is bipolar. She's like two different people. He's in love with one of them. The other is a nasty b!tch.
 

Sega Genesis

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A friend of mine has a wife that I think is bipolar. She's like two different people. He's in love with one of them. The other is a nasty b!tch.
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder exhibited by extreme highs (mania) and extreme lows (depression).

Bipolar I (verses Bipolar 2 which is less severe) can sometimes involve some psychosis and delusional thinking but not always

Re the nastiness and 'like two different people," that speaks more to Borderline Personality Disorder which can often times co-exist with Bipolar.

Cleveland Clinic

You can have both bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder (BPD) at the same time. This co-occurrence is sometimes referred to in clinical settings as "borderpolar".

Research shows that roughly 20% of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder also have BPD, and about 20% of people with BPD also meet the criteria for bipolar disorder.

Key Differences Between the Two Conditions
While both involve strong mood shifts and impulsivity, they are distinct psychiatric diagnoses:
  • Bipolar Disorder: A mood disorder characterized by distinct, episodic shifts in energy and mood (mania, hypomania, or clinical depression) that typically last for days, weeks, or months. These shifts are largely driven by internal biology rather than immediate external triggers.
  • Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): A personality disorder marked by chronic instability in relationships, self-image, and emotions. Mood and anger shifts are usually rapid—lasting from minutes to hours—and are frequently triggered by interpersonal stress or a fear of abandonment. BPD also involves symptoms not core to bipolar disorder, such as a chronic sense of inner emptiness, severe identity disturbance, and frantic efforts to avoid abandonment.
 
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The Duke

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Borderline is more common than bipolar. Years ago we talked a lot about these types of girls on this forum.

I dated a few borderlines, one narcissist, and one bipolar. I studied a lot of psychology to recognize the patterns and traits because I enjoy understanding people and learning. It was fun but these girls caused me too much hell. I don't have the patience for it anymore. But the crazier the girl, the better she fuhks.

No point in distinguing between one brand of crazy and another. They will all make your life hell at some point. Relationships are hard enough with healthy minded folks.
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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plumber

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really difficult to distinguish between these for man that does not study it. simple low interest can feel like she is crazy... especially if you don't really know what is going on.

the solution is the same regardless of the cause so it does not matter.
 

tesla8520

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In both situations, I simply thought there were signs, or gut feelings, that something was wrong with the girl.

The problem is, once you fall in love with the "beautiful version," it's hard to let go when she becomes "the monster."
 
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