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BPD ex, had rebound, how to proceed

billtx49

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Would love to debate with you but ima leave it alone because your a moderator and I'm sure if I say anything wrong I will be banned lol ;)
Mental illness isn’t a debate topic and men aren’t banned for being dense or arrogant.
 

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Epic Days

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Let them that’s going to make It, make it.
Let them that aren’t, fade away.

Until a man has the epiphany that every thing he does or thinks is his own cause, without any shift of responsibility to another in any way, he is a victim of his own reality.

If it happens to you...you did it.
 

MountainSlide

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You don't date bpd. Take a throater and next her.
This statement doesn’t take into consideration the possibility you don’t know she’s bpd.

a bpd girl can seem normal, have the appearance of high IL, and entering your frame. It appears she enters your frame but is actually just mirroring you (she has no personality of her own). Then when she splits black, she suddenly isn’t in your frame anymore and the crazy psycho comes out. This would be the correct moment to walk away (If you hadn’t previously known that she’s batshyt). If you don’t walk away at this time, you will eventually be drawn into her frame at which point in time, you will have or at least feel like you’re having a mental breakdown. And when you enter her frame, that’s the point in time she’ll discard you (as most woman would)
 

billtx49

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You don't date bpd. Take a throater and next her.
Ok, I’ll try to explain this for the non experienced. Everything is in reverse with BPD. In the beginning stages you may notice some minor irregularities, but brush them off as her ‘quirks’ or her having a unique personality. Plus shes bombing you with love, praise, and porn star quality sex.
It’s not until the relationship progresses to the being personally closer or the moving in together stage that she gets to the stage of finally pushing herself away from it by pushing you away. With many of these women it involves violence and/or complete rage for her to get the man to turn away. Of course by that point he’s fairly if not completely emotionally invested and she’s turned into a raging lunatic …
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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This statement doesn’t take into consideration the possibility you don’t know she’s bpd.

a bpd girl can seem normal, have the appearance of high IL, and entering your frame. It appears she enters your frame but is actually just mirroring you (she has no personality of her own). Then when she splits black, she suddenly isn’t in your frame anymore and the crazy psycho comes out. This would be the correct moment to walk away (If you hadn’t previously known that she’s batshyt). If you don’t walk away at this time, you will eventually be drawn into her frame at which point in time, you will have or at least feel like you’re having a mental breakdown. And when you enter her frame, that’s the point in time she’ll discard you (as most woman would)
Op says she's bpd. You next.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Ok, I’ll try to explain this for the non experienced. Everything is in reverse with BPD. In the beginning stages you may notice some minor irregularities, but brush them off as her ‘quirks’ or her having a unique personality. Plus shes bombing you with love and sex.
It’s not until the relationship progresses to the being personally closer or moving in together stage that she gets to the stage of finally pulling herself away from it. With many of these women it involves violence for her to get the man to turn away. Of course by that point he’s fairly if not completely emotionally invested and she’s turned into a raging lunatic …
A wall of text doesn't change the facts.

You don't date singlemoms,bpd or crazy.
 

billtx49

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You don't date singlemoms,bpd or crazy.
Yes sir, I’ll start looking for the bpd on their forehead signs…
Why do you think they snag so many men?
It’s mostly unrecognizable in her until he’s in too far…
Reread my prior post.
 

Epic Days

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Ok, I’ll try to explain this for the non experienced. Everything is in reverse with BPD. In the beginning stages you may notice some minor irregularities, but brush them off as her ‘quirks’ or her having a unique personality. Plus shes bombing you with love.
It’s not until the relationship progresses to the being personally closer or moving in together stage that she gets to the stage of finally pulling herself away from it. With many of these women it involves violence for her to get the man to turn away. Of course by that point he’s fairly if not completely emotionally invested and she’s turned into a raging lunatic …
Experienced this a time or two. Observed it plenty of times. Nothing special.

So I want to solve this little riddle. Beings it’s quite common, it’s the least I can do. Have observed much, much worse. A woman knows exactly what to say to a man to blast him to hell and back. Men kill themselves over this. Public ridicule from the woman he thought loved him especially. Maybe what she’s been saying to others about him, driving him deeper into the mud.
Crushing.

The entire cause is the man’s reality. The truths he holds dear. He went against his birthright firstly. This causes a cascade and a loop. It’s really simple.
Think back to when you did something you knew was wrong but did it anyway. Ever notice how after that first time it gets easier and easier to do it? That’s the cascade.

Your frames were created in a feminized world. Even if you were born In The 40’s

Everything about you has been programmed to support women. Even your honor and dignity and it’s very definitions were re-written by the feminine imperative. How you think to your very core is feminized. You have, in effect, had your true identity stripped from you. Your mothers approval was everything. All she had to do was withhold her praise and approval and you would learn to change or do anything to get it back. All along she was standing over the sink with a half Mona Lisa smile. Mona Lisa smiles.

You are spiritually and mentally conditioned to pursuit the ultimate family or togetherness dream. A guy on here can say “I don’t need a woman. I don’t need a family. I don’t need a woman’s approval, etc. etc.”
But your subconscious, already programmed by the age of six has learned to survive in THAT environment where you grew up and actually operates against your best interests.

The gender roles are reversed and it’s amazing the little things a man does to get a woman’s approval that he doesn’t even know he’s doing.

It is your unknowing pursuit of that utopia that causes you to submit and give all to a woman. You have purposely given yourself up to a form of emotional and even physical enslavement. Esther Vilar talks quite a bit about this sad phenomenon. She weeps for those men. How the simplest manipulations work so well against him.

Withdrawing from you is a tool to suck you in once you have given yourself up for enslavement. It’s to test how submerged you are into this approval phenomenon.

A woman is suppose to enter your frame and mold to you. You molded to those supposed BPD’s of your own initiative. It’s all you. They weren’t BOD’s until after you were snagged. I will say it again...it shows up AFTER you have trapped yourself. Then what she is feeling is true unexpressed resentment. You are totally pathetic in her eyes. Lower than a murderer. Lower than her dog or a squirrel. Lower than any other form of life.

You gave up your birthright. And oh my my, so quickly and easily. Tsk tsk.

Anything that can be controlled so easily, is in fact, something to spit on and despise. You failed!!!
You failed so soundly that she truly doesn’t really care what happens to you. Go kill yourself if you want. She doesn’t feel remorse like that. She will be over it fairly quickly and riding a new dik. No worries. Life is good.
 

Spaz

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Even though we may not agree on everything in this thread. I think it’s safe to say that we agree being sucked in by a bpd chick, or if you get to the point where you think you have, is a result of having a weak frame and not upholding boundaries. If you have good frame you’ll dump a girl that shows signs of being a potential bpd candidate.

That being said. Once a guy has lost his frame and has been dragged through the thistles, saying “suck it up pu$$y” doesn’t help either. He needs to go permanent no contact with the girl. The relationship can not be fixed. He needs to go to the gym, engage in other hobbies, meet other women, and get her off his mind so that he can restore his frame and not make the same mistake again.
The question of priorities is not up for argument; if our newbies can't achieve acceptable standards of being a man to compete in the modern world, what use is it being skilled at other things mentioned here?

Fix the basics 1st, then indulge in elective subjects.
 

MountainSlide

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The question of priorities is not up for argument; if our newbies can't achieve acceptable standards of being a man to compete in the modern world, what use is it being skilled at other things mentioned here?

Fix the basics 1st, then indulge in elective subjects.
I agree. Basics are key. I think the first step is to do things that build confidence.
Experienced this a time or two. Observed it plenty of times. Nothing special.

So I want to solve this little riddle. Beings it’s quite common, it’s the least I can do. Have observed much, much worse. A woman knows exactly what to say to a man to blast him to hell and back. Men kill themselves over this. Public ridicule from the woman he thought loved him especially. Maybe what she’s been saying to others about him, driving him deeper into the mud.
Crushing.

The entire cause is the man’s reality. The truths he holds dear. He went against his birthright firstly. This causes a cascade and a loop. It’s really simple.
Think back to when you did something you knew was wrong but did it anyway. Ever notice how after that first time it gets easier and easier to do it? That’s the cascade.

Your frames were created in a feminized world. Even if you were born In The 40’s

Everything about you has been programmed to support women. Even your honor and dignity and it’s very definitions were re-written by the feminine imperative. How you think to your very core is feminized. You have, in effect, had your true identity stripped from you. Your mothers approval was everything. All she had to do was withhold her praise and approval and you would learn to change or do anything to get it back. All along she was standing over the sink with a half Mona Lisa smile. Mona Lisa smiles.

You are spiritually and mentally conditioned to pursuit the ultimate family or togetherness dream. A guy on here can say “I don’t need a woman. I don’t need a family. I don’t need a woman’s approval, etc. etc.”
But your subconscious, already programmed by the age of six has learned to survive in THAT environment where you grew up and actually operates against your best interests.

The gender roles are reversed and it’s amazing the little things a man does to get a woman’s approval that he doesn’t even know he’s doing.

It is your unknowing pursuit of that utopia that causes you to submit and give all to a woman. You have purposely given yourself up to a form of emotional and even physical enslavement. Esther Vilar talks quite a bit about this sad phenomenon. She weeps for those men. How the simplest manipulations work so well against him.

Withdrawing from you is a tool to suck you in once you have given yourself up for enslavement. It’s to test how submerged you are into this approval phenomenon.

A woman is suppose to enter your frame and mold to you. You molded to those supposed BPD’s of your own initiative. It’s all you. They weren’t BOD’s until after you were snagged. I will say it again...it shows up AFTER you have trapped yourself. Then what she is feeling is true unexpressed resentment. You are totally pathetic in her eyes. Lower than a murderer. Lower than her dog or a squirrel. Lower than any other form of life.

You gave up your birthright. And oh my my, so quickly and easily. Tsk tsk.

Anything that can be controlled so easily, is in fact, something to spit on and despise. You failed!!!
You failed so soundly that she truly doesn’t really care what happens to you. Go kill yourself if you want. She doesn’t feel remorse like that. She will be over it fairly quickly and riding a new dik. No worries. Life is good.
Yes. The media is indoctrinating us to become feminine. Which women hate and resent, Viewing men who adopt these mindsets as disgusting, but yet propagating it. The powers at be want men to become a subservient class in society. Social media and smart technology are expediting the process.

There will no longer be generations of men in the future. Just “gender neutral” people. At this time, even people who grew up to be men change their frame and adopt the feminism.
 

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Vantagepoint34

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Speaking of the overall population both Male and female. Less of "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"(understanding of/application) and more of "Yolo"...
 

MountainSlide

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Good.

Don't focus on the woman, focus internally 1st, see what went wrong and then improve or expand other areas of his frame.

That is the only true path of cultivating into a better man.
That’s the thing to do for sure. As long as you learn from your mistakes then it is just a stepping stone to something better.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Yes sir, I’ll start looking for the bpd on their forehead signs…
Why do you think they snag so many men?
It’s mostly unrecognizable in her until he’s in too far…
Reread my prior post.
No I'm good. Drop her. Move on
 

Carson02

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Problem is for many, myself included, was not knowing or ignoring what to look for in their toxic behavior before being sucked in.

The eject handle should have been immediate when she warned me about herself and I frequently googled her erratic behavior.

The takeaway: toxic behavior will never be corrected as long as they continue to receive attention and validation.
 
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