"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Boundaries - The final word :crackup:

sylvester the cat

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Today i learnt a lesson in boundaries.

i am seeing this 'BPD'. I fell in love with her pretty quick. but thanks to this site i am able to keep from gushing forth my pathetic but overwhelming feelings.

anyhow, i wanted us to be more than sex. i want us to be exclusive, marry, have kids, the full works - but i knew i couldnt say this. to do this would be tantatmount to being a pvssy. and knowing how 'well' doing this has turned out in the past i knew to keep my big trap shut.

so whaddayanknow. following my manipulative games, she is asking 'the question'. 'what are we?'

so i didnt have to set boundaries verbally as she came setting them herself. what boundaries i set i set previously through actions - not rewarding flakey behaviour, not chasing etc. we are in tune so i didnt feel the need to set them. she knows the score. and when comes the time she doesn't - then i know we aren't in tune no more so what needs of boundaries then? it's over.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TheMonkeyKing

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You gonna get in a serious thing with a genuine BPD....?

Good luck sons. Just don't get yaself arrested and/or killed.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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I look forward to counselling you in 6-12months time.

You're welcome in advance, Sylvester.
 

sylvester the cat

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TheMonkeyKing said:
I look forward to counselling you in 6-12months time.

You're welcome in advance, Sylvester.
already been there, done that. learnt i was a bpd myself hence why i attracted them.

thanks to this site i am better equipped to deal with them.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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TheMonkeyKing

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Fair enough. They are easy pickings for the astute practitioner, granted.

I repeat, don't get yaself arrested/killed.
 

scsniper

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You can give me a borderline over a histrionic any day of the week.
at least they actually have some grasp of reality.
even if it is limited.

once you get a handle of the duel weapons of N/C and ABANDONMENT,applied in the right doses.
You can relieve the glory days over and over.
Their object constancy is right up their with the goldfish.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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sylvester the cat said:
she is asking 'the question'. 'what are we?'

so i didnt have to set boundaries verbally as she came setting them herself. what boundaries i set i set previously through actions - not rewarding flakey behaviour, not chasing etc. we are in tune so i didnt feel the need to set them. she knows the score. and when comes the time she doesn't - then i know we aren't in tune no more so what needs of boundaries then? it's over.
I think this is what we call an epiphany. :up:
 
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