"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

bite me

TinyFzzyKiwi

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was joking with a girl at school today, she'd get "fake mad" alot, and would say something in response to me, such as bite me. I wanted to say something funny when she said this, because she said it a good 3-4 times, but couldnt think of anything good. Any suggestions?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Vincent

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Originally posted by TinyFzzyKiwi
was joking with a girl at school today, she'd get "fake mad" alot, and would say something in response to me, such as bite me. I wanted to say something funny when she said this, because she said it a good 3-4 times, but couldnt think of anything good. Any suggestions?
With pleasure.
 

bangoker

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¿ "sorry,im on a low fat diet"?

(asuming she is thin, i guess she may get be upset if she isnt)

.....


actually i think thats kind of crappy, but a little c+f is cool isnt it?
 

Bussey

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Hmm... I'm not much into the whole S&M thing. Sorry


We gotta leave something to do later on...


Your a clever one, arent you?


I'll assume your hitting on me, so thank you, but your just not my type.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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idiot_boyfriend

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Originally posted by TinyFzzyKiwi
I wanted to say something funny when she said this, because she said it a good 3-4 times, but couldnt think of anything good. Any suggestions?
Don't even respond....

Just nibble on her ear. :D

Oh, but make sure she likes you!!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Originally posted by AFK Protector
I'd just grab her and bite her neck and slowly start kissing her lower and sh1t. i'm so hot.
..... thats rapist style dawg, u dont know how its done.

her: bite me
you: GRR (then bite her neck, so it hurts.)
 

Mr. Debonaire

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Originally posted by bangoker
¿ "sorry,im on a low fat diet"?
this is GOLD! :D

Originally posted by huge_guy_pimpin
..... thats rapist style dawg, u dont know how its done.

her: bite me
you: GRR (then bite her neck, so it hurts.)
and that is rabid style ;) :p
 
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