"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Beware the Springtime BPD re-emergence

Atom Smasher

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Just got my "Happy Springtime" e-mail from my last BPD of 2 years ago, complete with about 12 pictures attached.

I deleted those, and last night I got the expected accompanying text message with another pic attached.

"I understand if you don't get back to me..." LOL, I'm glad she understands.

Be wary. They can pop up like tulips in Springtime when a young' man's fancy is vulnerable after a long Winter. Delete and move on.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Neon Owl

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Happy springtime? lol
How often does she contact you since the breakup? And how long have you been NC?
 

ArcBound

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Threads like these about old exes always remind me why a lot of men seek virgins. If a woman gets a taste of that alpha guy, some part of it is forever on her mind. Of course maybe some women do legitimately get over their exe's but the more guys she dates and sleeps with the more chances she will be pyscho when she reaches you. akin to roissy's chart about number of partners vs divorce rate. In the sexual marketplace we are not only competing for her in the present but also with her exes.
 

j0504s

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Springtime is here bpds have abandonment fears. Ty for this smasher this is a good reminder for everyone b.c the main reason a lot of us came to ss was to heal and move on. Don't regress!!! +1
 

Atom Smasher

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Neon Owl said:
Happy springtime? lol
How often does she contact you since the breakup? And how long have you been NC?
After the breakup she blew up my phone for a good six months, then dwindled off very slowly over the next 6. So I've been NC for those two years with her being NC for a little less than a year.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Who Dares Win

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ArcBound said:
Threads like these about old exes always remind me why a lot of men seek virgins. If a woman gets a taste of that alpha guy, some part of it is forever on her mind. Of course maybe some women do legitimately get over their exe's but the more guys she dates and sleeps with the more chances she will be pyscho when she reaches you. akin to roissy's chart about number of partners vs divorce rate. In the sexual marketplace we are not only competing for her in the present but also with her exes.
Agree with that, if a woman gets enough attention from a real alpha and then he drops her, she is emotionally fvcked forever, she experienced the thrill of having an alpha so can tell the difference, plus he fvcked up her ego which is like glue for women when it comes of relationships.

The result for the poor guy who get such girls is what we see in any shopping mall, a pissed off middle aged woman walking frustrated by her husband walking 10 feet beyond her with her shopping bags.

And even more sad is that nobody told to that poor man that the more he tries to win her over, the more she will resent him.

@Atom, tell us the truth old man, aint you satisfied and flattered by being chased even if she is not a girl you want now?
 

Atom Smasher

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No, because I view it as mental illness, and it's a bit scary in a way because you never know what they're going to do.
 

Atom Smasher

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Most definitely. Once I was driving with my BPD and I VERY mildly spoke to her about some inappropriate behavior (any other girl would have readily accepted it and agreed with my reasonable comment), and I saw her turn into a raging 13 year old right before my eyes. I could tell that she was considering hitting me, and was right on the verge. She stepped out of the moving car LOL and walked down the street to her house.

You never know what's brewing in that mind, what demons she's attempting to rein in. A hallmark of BPD is lack of self-control, always manifesting in frequent slightly-disturbing behaviors until the massive disturbing behaviors show up.

They are truly sick, severely damaged people, and in fact almost universally unrepairable, and that's why guys like 5string and myself sound the warning occasionally.

The power they conjure up over men is astounding. On the day I got my "Happy Springtime" message, I felt internally disturbed for the rest of the day. I wasn't thinking about it all day, mind you... The contact simply stirred up the mud and it had to settle, which it did by the next day.

Anyway, Happy Springtime everybody!! :flowers:
 

5string

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Atom Smasher said:
Most definitely. Once I was driving with my BPD and I VERY mildly spoke to her about some inappropriate behavior (any other girl would have readily accepted it and agreed with my reasonable comment), and I saw her turn into a raging 13 year old right before my eyes. I could tell that she was considering hitting me, and was right on the verge. She stepped out of the moving car LOL and walked down the street to her house.

You never know what's brewing in that mind, what demons she's attempting to rein in. A hallmark of BPD is lack of self-control, always manifesting in frequent slightly-disturbing behaviors until the massive disturbing behaviors show up.

They are truly sick, severely damaged people, and in fact almost universally unrepairable, and that's why guys like 5string and myself sound the warning occasionally.

The power they conjure up over men is astounding. On the day I got my "Happy Springtime" message, I felt internally disturbed for the rest of the day. I wasn't thinking about it all day, mind you... The contact simply stirred up the mud and it had to settle, which it did by the next day.

Anyway, Happy Springtime everybody!! :flowers:
You watch your six Atom.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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