"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Beware the Springtime BPD re-emergence

Atom Smasher

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Just got my "Happy Springtime" e-mail from my last BPD of 2 years ago, complete with about 12 pictures attached.

I deleted those, and last night I got the expected accompanying text message with another pic attached.

"I understand if you don't get back to me..." LOL, I'm glad she understands.

Be wary. They can pop up like tulips in Springtime when a young' man's fancy is vulnerable after a long Winter. Delete and move on.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Neon Owl

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Happy springtime? lol
How often does she contact you since the breakup? And how long have you been NC?
 

ArcBound

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Threads like these about old exes always remind me why a lot of men seek virgins. If a woman gets a taste of that alpha guy, some part of it is forever on her mind. Of course maybe some women do legitimately get over their exe's but the more guys she dates and sleeps with the more chances she will be pyscho when she reaches you. akin to roissy's chart about number of partners vs divorce rate. In the sexual marketplace we are not only competing for her in the present but also with her exes.
 

j0504s

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Springtime is here bpds have abandonment fears. Ty for this smasher this is a good reminder for everyone b.c the main reason a lot of us came to ss was to heal and move on. Don't regress!!! +1
 

Atom Smasher

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Neon Owl said:
Happy springtime? lol
How often does she contact you since the breakup? And how long have you been NC?
After the breakup she blew up my phone for a good six months, then dwindled off very slowly over the next 6. So I've been NC for those two years with her being NC for a little less than a year.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Who Dares Win

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ArcBound said:
Threads like these about old exes always remind me why a lot of men seek virgins. If a woman gets a taste of that alpha guy, some part of it is forever on her mind. Of course maybe some women do legitimately get over their exe's but the more guys she dates and sleeps with the more chances she will be pyscho when she reaches you. akin to roissy's chart about number of partners vs divorce rate. In the sexual marketplace we are not only competing for her in the present but also with her exes.
Agree with that, if a woman gets enough attention from a real alpha and then he drops her, she is emotionally fvcked forever, she experienced the thrill of having an alpha so can tell the difference, plus he fvcked up her ego which is like glue for women when it comes of relationships.

The result for the poor guy who get such girls is what we see in any shopping mall, a pissed off middle aged woman walking frustrated by her husband walking 10 feet beyond her with her shopping bags.

And even more sad is that nobody told to that poor man that the more he tries to win her over, the more she will resent him.

@Atom, tell us the truth old man, aint you satisfied and flattered by being chased even if she is not a girl you want now?
 

Atom Smasher

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No, because I view it as mental illness, and it's a bit scary in a way because you never know what they're going to do.
 

Atom Smasher

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Most definitely. Once I was driving with my BPD and I VERY mildly spoke to her about some inappropriate behavior (any other girl would have readily accepted it and agreed with my reasonable comment), and I saw her turn into a raging 13 year old right before my eyes. I could tell that she was considering hitting me, and was right on the verge. She stepped out of the moving car LOL and walked down the street to her house.

You never know what's brewing in that mind, what demons she's attempting to rein in. A hallmark of BPD is lack of self-control, always manifesting in frequent slightly-disturbing behaviors until the massive disturbing behaviors show up.

They are truly sick, severely damaged people, and in fact almost universally unrepairable, and that's why guys like 5string and myself sound the warning occasionally.

The power they conjure up over men is astounding. On the day I got my "Happy Springtime" message, I felt internally disturbed for the rest of the day. I wasn't thinking about it all day, mind you... The contact simply stirred up the mud and it had to settle, which it did by the next day.

Anyway, Happy Springtime everybody!! :flowers:
 

5string

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Atom Smasher said:
Most definitely. Once I was driving with my BPD and I VERY mildly spoke to her about some inappropriate behavior (any other girl would have readily accepted it and agreed with my reasonable comment), and I saw her turn into a raging 13 year old right before my eyes. I could tell that she was considering hitting me, and was right on the verge. She stepped out of the moving car LOL and walked down the street to her house.

You never know what's brewing in that mind, what demons she's attempting to rein in. A hallmark of BPD is lack of self-control, always manifesting in frequent slightly-disturbing behaviors until the massive disturbing behaviors show up.

They are truly sick, severely damaged people, and in fact almost universally unrepairable, and that's why guys like 5string and myself sound the warning occasionally.

The power they conjure up over men is astounding. On the day I got my "Happy Springtime" message, I felt internally disturbed for the rest of the day. I wasn't thinking about it all day, mind you... The contact simply stirred up the mud and it had to settle, which it did by the next day.

Anyway, Happy Springtime everybody!! :flowers:
You watch your six Atom.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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