Best way to ask this girl out

[Clockwerk50]

I’m not sure how you worked in the same group but she doesn’t even know your name. Nonetheless, you’re fantasizing and idealizing something that hasn’t happened yet, projecting her attraction level, and the potential for something more without it actually occurring. That’s a bit of oneitis. The real issue is that you’re outcome-dependent, and you want this to go a certain way, so the fear is coming from the possibility that reality won’t match what you’ve imagined.

If I were you, I’d keep it simple and do it in person. Catch her when class ends, open with “Hey, I haven’t talked to you since the group project, what’s up?” and walk with her, even if her friend is there. You can say you’re heading the same way or ask her if you can walk her to where she is going. Tell her you will be there for a short time, like five minutes, so you don’t overstay, and just have a normal conversation. This will give you enough information to decide your next move.

If the vibe is good, ask her out for coffee and exchange numbers. If she’s lukewarm, just grab the number casually and keep it low investment (you can frame it around class/homework). If she’s not engaging, eject.

Either way, the one who cares the most loses, and right now you’re already too invested.

 

[Prepostereax]

You worked together and she doesn't even know your name?
That sounds implausible, let alone having any sort of interest.

I'm just gonna post this (again)

In the immortal words of Roosh

The 9 Immutable Laws of Pick-Up

"If you find yourself having to ask for advice on how to get a particular girl, you won’t get her."

This oughta be stickied somewhere, whenever a thread like this crops up

"I’m sorry but you’ve already lost her. Take a big step back and go meet another girl instead."

We could post-mortem this ad infinitum.
Basically you have Oneitis.
You have Oneitis, because somewhere in your subconscious, you know that she's only just out of reach.
We want most what we can't have, even moreso when it's barely beyond our fingertips..

Go and bang her bestie.
No, she probably won't want to share.

 

[Plinco]

@OngBak
I understand where these viewpoints are coming from, however you need to learn how to take action. Rejection is better than regret.

Just go up to her, be simple and direct. You'll feel better afterwards. I'm speaking from experience.

 

[sevbucmash]

Hi. I'm Jeff. You know saw me before, we worked together on a project. Though I'll tell you m

She doesn’t even know my name ........ We worked together in a group and I actually really enjoyed it.

I’m not used to asking girls out, usually it’s the other way around

Let me get this part straight. You are not used to asking girls out. Usually it's girls who ask you out? Because that means you are hot. 7 minimum, perhaps an 8. Rich, famous kids, who gets laid all the time by the hottest chicks in school.

Now, explain to me how you could have worked together in a group, I'm assuming like a college work group with about 4 people. Yet, she does not know your name? How is that possible?

 

[RangerMIke]

(1) Plan something you like to do. (2) Invite her along. (3) just do it in person or on the phone. (4) If she says no, or says yes then cancels, go do it anyway.

This isn't rocket science.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

There was a young guy a few years ago who was so good with girls, he was a mod at age 18 or so. He got accepted to a great school and then got expelled because some girl soured on him in their relationship and made up some bs to the campus authorities.

You´ve picked my interest. Any chance you remember his username?

 

[BaronOfHair]

This isn't rocket science.

OP can be forgiven, for the simple fact that we've spent the past decade ensnared in theorizing about all of this sh-t yet rarely turning our attention towards "addressing te issues" out in the wild, where it really counts

Same way Feminism has, from The 2nd Wave-today, encouraged women to expend 98% of their energies on babbling about "The Patriarchy", and less than 2% on identifying specific goals then putting together a viable strategy to achieve them

 

[Dash Riprock]

She doesn’t even know my name

 

[Bible_Belt]

You´ve picked my interest. Any chance you remember his username?

No. He was from Texas, though. And it wasn't Bill. He posted about it all on here, but idk if it was deleted.

 

[Lauel]

It isn't as personal as it once was, IF it ever really was.

It was sexy at that time. Obsessive, and creative some call it.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

There’s this one girl in one of my courses that I find very beautiful. The problem is, I’m not used to asking girls out, usually it’s the other way around. And that part hits way harder for me than the whole getting-to-know phase. After the initial stage I do very well, but it’s almost always the start where I struggle.

She doesn’t even know my name yet, but there’s just something about her that pulls me in. We worked together in a group and I actually really enjoyed it. I could tell there are things she can genuinely relate to in the way I think, which for me is a huge huge plus. She’s already kind of operating on my frame and probably curious to learn more about me, also figured this one out since she was basically referencing few things from me on Social-Media, which one of my friends told me. I also know her friend is very attracted to me, which kinda boosted her attraction too, even though she was already interested before, but that’s not really the point here.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even be writing this, but she’s probably the first woman in a long time that actually makes me genuinely nervous. That’s not something I usually deal with when it comes to women. I do think there’s chemistry and potential for something deeper, something meaningful. But to actually find that out and validate it, I’d have to ask her out and I’m really nervous about it. I have class with her tomorrow.

I don’t know if I should just stay in my usual masculine frame like before, or actually show more passion because I genuinely want this to happen. I’m kinda confused.

I could ask her out over MS Teams, basically first asking for her number there or I could do that in Person. Either way, Im too nervous to clearly think. Please help me out guys, a Date with her would mean a lot to me.

Usually, I don't have any issues asking a woman for her #, or giving her mine.

However, workplace environments and school settings can be a tad bit tricky.

But, to the question..one thing to remember is; there is ALWAYS an opening for you.

That is what I've learned.

What does this mean?

This means that, no matter what she says to you, you can always steer what she said to you in the direction you want it to go....and you can do it in humorous, clever ways.

This is what I'd call the Redirect & Indirect method. (basically, a Mode 2 variant)

Example..

Her: Have you been studying for the test?

You: Yes, but I've also been studying for ways to ask for your number. Perhaps you can assist me?

Or something like..

Her: I plan on going hiking later.

Me: Straight up? So am I. There is a new "You-Give-Me-Your-Number" hiking trail at Desert Sky Park. You should join me.

Or whatever.

There is almost nothing she can say to you, that you can't redirect and indirectly ask for her number...or give her yours.

Try it.

 

[OngBak]

I wasn't able to ask her out, she didn't come to class today. Will Update you guys the next Wednesday.

 

[OngBak]

Guys, I honestly can’t wait I’d rather just message her on MS Teams than wait another week. Should I go for it, or wait and do it in person? I could say I wanted to ask her in person but couldn’t since she didn't come to class.

 

[inquisitor]

There’s this one girl in one of my courses that I find very beautiful. The problem is, I’m not used to asking girls out, usually it’s the other way around. And that part hits way harder for me than the whole getting-to-know phase. After the initial stage I do very well, but it’s almost always the start where I struggle.

She doesn’t even know my name yet, but there’s just something about her that pulls me in. We worked together in a group and I actually really enjoyed it. I could tell there are things she can genuinely relate to in the way I think, which for me is a huge huge plus. She’s already kind of operating on my frame and probably curious to learn more about me, also figured this one out since she was basically referencing few things from me on Social-Media, which one of my friends told me. I also know her friend is very attracted to me, which kinda boosted her attraction too, even though she was already interested before, but that’s not really the point here.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even be writing this, but she’s probably the first woman in a long time that actually makes me genuinely nervous. That’s not something I usually deal with when it comes to women. I do think there’s chemistry and potential for something deeper, something meaningful. But to actually find that out and validate it, I’d have to ask her out and I’m really nervous about it. I have class with her tomorrow.

I don’t know if I should just stay in my usual masculine frame like before, or actually show more passion because I genuinely want this to happen. I’m kinda confused.

I could ask her out over MS Teams, basically first asking for her number there or I could do that in Person. Either way, Im too nervous to clearly think. Please help me out guys, a Date with her would mean a lot to me.

Start your mindset with, "it doesn't matter if she agrees to the date or not", so you can shift to asking her out first, or at least being friends with her first.

Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Become someone you want yourself to be, that she deserves to be with.

 

[inquisitor]

I’m kinda mentally cloudy right now because I’ve had a lot going on lately, which explains my absence

There's always an explanation. Who gives a sh!t? Mentally cloudy or not, you'll have to act anyway.

 

[inquisitor]

a Date with her would mean a lot to me.

Honestly? Right now, it wouldn't mean a lot, to you or to her. You'll be in a much worse spot if you're idealizing her, by the way.

A date is just two people talking. What's with the fuss?

 

[inquisitor]

Guys, I honestly can’t wait I’d rather just message her on MS Teams than wait another week. Should I go for it, or wait and do it in person? I could say I wanted to ask her in person but couldn’t since she didn't come to class.

Do you even know anything about her?

 

[BPH]

Guys, I honestly can’t wait I’d rather just message her on MS Teams than wait another week. Should I go for it, or wait and do it in person? I could say I wanted to ask her in person but couldn’t since she didn't come to class.

Plenty of members will ask for advice, but only really want the answer that they're looking for.

 

[OngBak]

I just did the first step over MS Teams, didnt ask her out, but a light conversation starter - keeping things natural. I will update you guys

 

[inquisitor]

I just did the first step over MS Teams, didnt ask her out, but a light conversation starter - keeping things natural. I will update you guys

Dating is not a cookbook with recipes and steps, but good for you nonetheless.