Pierce Manhammer
Moderator
Let it go, James Bay
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
"The Hunter" is an awesome song.Easily the most underrated rock/metal band of the 80s.
You can add:
Kiss of Death--about getting AIDS
Tooth and Nail--"Crushed all the hopes and the dreams we once had just to watch them fall"
The Hunter--"Searching for the things that I might never find....again"
Prisoner-- "chained by love!"
Heaven Sent--"but baby you're not the one!"
So Many Tears--"like so many things, we were lost forever"
Their entire catalog is almost exclusively FU b*itch songs.
Back for the Attack was an awesome album too.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I walk the same discipline. lick my wounds real quick and keep moving. like pac said "MOB" money over b!tchesWhen I experience a loss, I don't like to listen to sad sh!t. Instead I listen to hustle music and motivational stuff. Songs that remind me that b!tches ain't **** and I need to focus on building my empire. Big Sean, Drake.. etc. If I actually am genuinely depressed, I try to focus the sadness into anger, and put on some brutal death metal or something.. and then I go work out. Sitting around sulking accomplishes nothing.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I don't know where the members of Dokken met women. That band had a lot of songs about getting wronged by women on their two biggest albums "Tooth and Nail" and "Under Lock and Key"
Dokken's 2 biggest albums were "Tooth and Nail" (1984) and "Under Lock and Key" (1985).Easily the most underrated rock/metal band of the 80s.
Their entire catalog is almost exclusively FU b*itch songs.
Pink Floyd has some great break-up classics. "Mother" is a classic post-breakup feel good song. "Brain Damage" is also great:I don't really know about breakups, but at the moment I feel terrible, horrible and have a broken heart. At the same time I discovered Pink Floyd and the more I listen to it the better I feel.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.