"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Best breakup song ever?

Pierce Manhammer

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Let it go, James Bay
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SW15

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Easily the most underrated rock/metal band of the 80s.

You can add:
Kiss of Death--about getting AIDS
Tooth and Nail--"Crushed all the hopes and the dreams we once had just to watch them fall"
The Hunter--"Searching for the things that I might never find....again"
Prisoner-- "chained by love!"
Heaven Sent--"but baby you're not the one!"
So Many Tears--"like so many things, we were lost forever"

Their entire catalog is almost exclusively FU b*itch songs.

Back for the Attack was an awesome album too.
"The Hunter" is an awesome song.

I saw Dokken live once in 2010. Good show.
 

IKO69

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Pantera usually does it for me
 

King Lion

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'Give Me The Reason' by Luther Vandross

Honorable Mentions: 'Fvck You' by CeeLo Green & 'Roses' by OutKast
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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IKO69

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Type o Negative - Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity

Not the best but gives me the most chuckles
 

BillyPilgrim

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A couple of classics


 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Scars

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When I experience a loss, I don't like to listen to sad sh!t. Instead I listen to hustle music and motivational stuff. Songs that remind me that b!tches ain't **** and I need to focus on building my empire. Big Sean, Drake.. etc. If I actually am genuinely depressed, I try to focus the sadness into anger, and put on some brutal death metal or something.. and then I go work out. Sitting around sulking accomplishes nothing.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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When I experience a loss, I don't like to listen to sad sh!t. Instead I listen to hustle music and motivational stuff. Songs that remind me that b!tches ain't **** and I need to focus on building my empire. Big Sean, Drake.. etc. If I actually am genuinely depressed, I try to focus the sadness into anger, and put on some brutal death metal or something.. and then I go work out. Sitting around sulking accomplishes nothing.
I walk the same discipline. lick my wounds real quick and keep moving. like pac said "MOB" money over b!tches
 

kakkerlak1985

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I don't really know about breakups, but at the moment I feel terrible, horrible and have a broken heart. At the same time I discovered Pink Floyd and the more I listen to it the better I feel.

 

Pierce Manhammer

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English lyrics on screen worth a listen/read.
Salte del medio, que están pasando los Kings…
 

King Lion

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HEY JOE...


Lee Moses 1971
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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FlexpertHamilton

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I know I could always turn to you
Treat me so fine like you always do


^ Especially love these lines. He's talking about having a side/backup chick who will always be around for you after a breakup....
 

SW15

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I don't know where the members of Dokken met women. That band had a lot of songs about getting wronged by women on their two biggest albums "Tooth and Nail" and "Under Lock and Key"
Easily the most underrated rock/metal band of the 80s.

Their entire catalog is almost exclusively FU b*itch songs.
Dokken's 2 biggest albums were "Tooth and Nail" (1984) and "Under Lock and Key" (1985).

The women described in Dokken songs were terrible women. These 1980s women that members of Dokken were meeting were almost ahead of their time. Most 2000s-present era women a lot like the women Dokken songs described.

I remember I first discovered Dokken in what was my junior year of high school in 1999-2000. Even then, I found a song like "Into the Fire" relatable based on some early experiences with women.

 

SW15

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I wouldn't call what I'm linking below as the best breakup song ever. It is an intense breakup song written from a female perspective. It is Christina Aguilera's "Fighter".


In 2018, Aguilera mentioned that she wrote the song about some ex-boyfriend who turned out to be gay. I would not have suspected that from reading and listening to the lyrics.

 

IKO69

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Pretty much the entire slow deep and hard cd by Type O Negative. Except for the song where he kills the cheating hussy and guy with the pick axe. Lolol
 

BillyPilgrim

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I don't really know about breakups, but at the moment I feel terrible, horrible and have a broken heart. At the same time I discovered Pink Floyd and the more I listen to it the better I feel.

Pink Floyd has some great break-up classics. "Mother" is a classic post-breakup feel good song. "Brain Damage" is also great:

"The lunatic is in the hall
The lunatics are in my hall
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more"

Every time a plate drops off or ghosts me, these words always bring me comfort.

Have you checked out any of their Syd Barrett-era stuff?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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