Being called a "Gentleman" - offensive or not?

[Jariel]

Do any of you guys here find the term "gentleman" offensive. i.e. do you feel that it undermines you or your masculinity?

If you care to elaborate, please do. This relates to a discussion I had in one of my classes recently and thought I'd put it to the vote here.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

I don't see how that could be taken offensively. I take pride in being a gentleman.

 

[Raikojo17]

no, i dont see it as offensive. it shows that you are a man of respect and not some immature obnoxious disrespectful prick.
women actually like gentlemen, but not wimps. the 2 terms should never be confused.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Do any of you guys here find the term "gentleman" offensive. i.e. do you feel that it undermines you or your masculinity?

If you care to elaborate, please do. This relates to a discussion I had in one of my classes recently and thought I'd put it to the vote here.

How was it presented as to undermine a man's masculinity?

 

[Oxide]

Nope. For me, gentleman = good guy = me. So I could give a sh1t what it means to someone else who is stupid enough to present an obscure connotation to the already established term. But then again, this is my reality.

 

[Oxide]

Just to add, I don't see "gentleman" as a complete package. As in, I don't think you can describe the person by this term alone. It is like calling a person an a$$hole, or a nice guy - it is too one dimentional. For example, I might be a gentleman when I am playing pool with a girl, but when we get in bed I am agressive and dominant, now how does that fit with the definition?

What exactly was the discussion in your class about?

 

[Jariel]

Basically the discussion was about sexist language. Various women were saying that they found the term "lady" offensive because it's patronising. They were arguing that the male equivalent of "gentleman" holds more positive connotations.

Personally I don't mind being called a gentleman, but playing devils advocate I could see how it might hold connotations of being a sensitive and a weaker man so was just interested to see if anyone had that point of view.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

"Lady" is patronizing? What would they want to be called?

 

[BluEyes]

wh0re, B-girl, harlot, hooker, hustler, lady of the evening, prostitute, scarlet woman, streetwalker, working girl, call girl, alley cat, pink pants, hostess, tart, white slave, slut.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

wh0re, B-girl, harlot, hooker, hustler, lady of the evening, prostitute, scarlet woman, streetwalker, working girl, call girl, alley cat, pink pants, hostess, tart, white slave, slut.

These women, er ladies, er chicks, ummm.... NON-MEN (more than likely ANTI-Men) would probably still feel that they were being patronized being called by one of those names...

 

[DJDamage]

I am troubled by that term sometimes. I noticed if a woman ever calls me a gentleman its because I did something really nice to her like open the door, or pull a chair for her. Which is a fine compliment.

However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.

I notice that if she calls me an a$$hole because I used C&F and poked fun at her, the chances are really good something is going to happen.

In essence its the context in which she calls you a gentleman as opposed to the word itself that matters.

 

[Jariel]

"Lady" is patronizing? What would they want to be called?

Stupid eh? These extreme feminists can put a negative slant on anything we men say or do though.

However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.

I see your point and this was my middle of the road argument, that we could find "gentleman" insulting too if used in a certain context or interpreted a certain way.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stupid eh? These extreme feminists can put a negative slant on anything we men say or do though.....

Yet they still expect men to pay for dinner... Pffffftttttttt......

Well, I guess I ain't no gentleman!

 

[ryannath]

I wouldn't say being called a gentleman is always good or always bad. Sometimes it can mean you are a really good guy that's not a prick and sometimes it can mean that you are the typical "nice guy AFC." Also, being called an a$$hole is not always good, and also, not always bad. Most of the time when I get called a$$hole, I think it's very funny I know the woman is attracted to me. But, sometimes they really mean it. You can tell when which is which.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I think it's one of those 'nice guy', 'let's just be friends', 'I think our interactions have been fraternial' BS and would construe it to be normally an offensive term that reflects the fact you dont appear masculine enough to the woman to take a sexual interest.

 

[Deep Dish]

Ahh, linguistic semantics. "Lady" is patronizing if used to directly refer to someone rather than being descriptive. For example: "Well, lady, what did you expect?" is patronizing and is starkly contrasted by "You're quite a lady."

I for one strive to be a gentleman and a scholar.

 

[Shiftkey]

If you take offense to being called a gentleman, get a tissue and grow up (likewise for "ladies"). I'd never imagine this being a question.

 

[MuayThai]

Real men are gentlemen. lol It almost goes without saying.

Most people don't have courtesy and kindness because they're lacking something inside.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

I am troubled by that term sometimes. I noticed if a woman ever calls me a gentleman its because I did something really nice to her like open the door, or pull a chair for her. Which is a fine compliment.

However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.

I notice that if she calls me an a$$hole because I used C&F and poked fun at her, the chances are really good something is going to happen.

In essence its the context in which she calls you a gentleman as opposed to the word itself that matters.

The chicks who like the c&F guys better will give lots of lip service to the gentlemen, even though they're fvking the c&F guy. This will all change when they turn 35 or so and are still single, especially if they are single mothers.