"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Being called a "Gentleman" - offensive or not?

Do you find "Gentleman" an offensive term?

  • Yes

    Votes: 4 25.0%
  • No

    Votes: 12 75.0%

  • Total voters
    16

Jariel

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Do any of you guys here find the term "gentleman" offensive. i.e. do you feel that it undermines you or your masculinity?

If you care to elaborate, please do. This relates to a discussion I had in one of my classes recently and thought I'd put it to the vote here.
 

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TyTe`EyEs

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I don't see how that could be taken offensively. I take pride in being a gentleman.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Jariel said:
Do any of you guys here find the term "gentleman" offensive. i.e. do you feel that it undermines you or your masculinity?

If you care to elaborate, please do. This relates to a discussion I had in one of my classes recently and thought I'd put it to the vote here.
How was it presented as to undermine a man's masculinity?
 

Oxide

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Nope. For me, gentleman = good guy = me. So I could give a sh1t what it means to someone else who is stupid enough to present an obscure connotation to the already established term. But then again, this is my reality.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Oxide

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Just to add, I don't see "gentleman" as a complete package. As in, I don't think you can describe the person by this term alone. It is like calling a person an a$$hole, or a nice guy - it is too one dimentional. For example, I might be a gentleman when I am playing pool with a girl, but when we get in bed I am agressive and dominant, now how does that fit with the definition?

What exactly was the discussion in your class about?
 

Jariel

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Basically the discussion was about sexist language. Various women were saying that they found the term "lady" offensive because it's patronising. They were arguing that the male equivalent of "gentleman" holds more positive connotations.

Personally I don't mind being called a gentleman, but playing devils advocate I could see how it might hold connotations of being a sensitive and a weaker man so was just interested to see if anyone had that point of view.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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"Lady" is patronizing? :confused: What would they want to be called?
 

BluEyes

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wh0re, B-girl, harlot, hooker, hustler, lady of the evening, prostitute, scarlet woman, streetwalker, working girl, call girl, alley cat, pink pants, hostess, tart, white slave, slut.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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BluEyes said:
wh0re, B-girl, harlot, hooker, hustler, lady of the evening, prostitute, scarlet woman, streetwalker, working girl, call girl, alley cat, pink pants, hostess, tart, white slave, slut.
These women, er ladies, er chicks, ummm.... NON-MEN (more than likely ANTI-Men) would probably still feel that they were being patronized being called by one of those names... :rolleyes:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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DJDamage

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I am troubled by that term sometimes. I noticed if a woman ever calls me a gentleman its because I did something really nice to her like open the door, or pull a chair for her. Which is a fine compliment.

However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.

I notice that if she calls me an a$$hole because I used C&F and poked fun at her, the chances are really good something is going to happen.

In essence its the context in which she calls you a gentleman as opposed to the word itself that matters.
 

Jariel

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
"Lady" is patronizing? :confused: What would they want to be called?
Stupid eh? These extreme feminists can put a negative slant on anything we men say or do though.

DJDamage said:
However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.
I see your point and this was my middle of the road argument, that we could find "gentleman" insulting too if used in a certain context or interpreted a certain way.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Jariel said:
Stupid eh? These extreme feminists can put a negative slant on anything we men say or do though.....
Yet they still expect men to pay for dinner... Pffffftttttttt...... :rolleyes:

Well, I guess I ain't no gentleman! :p
 

ryannath

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I wouldn't say being called a gentleman is always good or always bad. Sometimes it can mean you are a really good guy that's not a prick and sometimes it can mean that you are the typical "nice guy AFC." Also, being called an a$$hole is not always good, and also, not always bad. Most of the time when I get called a$$hole, I think it's very funny I know the woman is attracted to me. But, sometimes they really mean it. You can tell when which is which.
 
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I think it's one of those 'nice guy', 'let's just be friends', 'I think our interactions have been fraternial' BS and would construe it to be normally an offensive term that reflects the fact you dont appear masculine enough to the woman to take a sexual interest.
 

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Deep Dish

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Ahh, linguistic semantics. "Lady" is patronizing if used to directly refer to someone rather than being descriptive. For example: "Well, lady, what did you expect?" is patronizing and is starkly contrasted by "You're quite a lady."

I for one strive to be a gentleman and a scholar.
 

Shiftkey

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If you take offense to being called a gentleman, get a tissue and grow up (likewise for "ladies"). I'd never imagine this being a question.
 

MuayThai

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Real men are gentlemen. lol It almost goes without saying.

Most people don't have courtesy and kindness because they're lacking something inside.
 

Yotsuya-san

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DJDamage said:
I am troubled by that term sometimes. I noticed if a woman ever calls me a gentleman its because I did something really nice to her like open the door, or pull a chair for her. Which is a fine compliment.

However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.

I notice that if she calls me an a$$hole because I used C&F and poked fun at her, the chances are really good something is going to happen.

In essence its the context in which she calls you a gentleman as opposed to the word itself that matters.
The chicks who like the c&F guys better will give lots of lip service to the gentlemen, even though they're fvking the c&F guy. This will all change when they turn 35 or so and are still single, especially if they are single mothers.
 
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