"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Being called a "Gentleman" - offensive or not?

Do you find "Gentleman" an offensive term?

  • Yes

    Votes: 4 25.0%
  • No

    Votes: 12 75.0%

  • Total voters
    16

Jariel

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Do any of you guys here find the term "gentleman" offensive. i.e. do you feel that it undermines you or your masculinity?

If you care to elaborate, please do. This relates to a discussion I had in one of my classes recently and thought I'd put it to the vote here.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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TyTe`EyEs

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I don't see how that could be taken offensively. I take pride in being a gentleman.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Jariel said:
Do any of you guys here find the term "gentleman" offensive. i.e. do you feel that it undermines you or your masculinity?

If you care to elaborate, please do. This relates to a discussion I had in one of my classes recently and thought I'd put it to the vote here.
How was it presented as to undermine a man's masculinity?
 

Oxide

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Nope. For me, gentleman = good guy = me. So I could give a sh1t what it means to someone else who is stupid enough to present an obscure connotation to the already established term. But then again, this is my reality.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Oxide

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Just to add, I don't see "gentleman" as a complete package. As in, I don't think you can describe the person by this term alone. It is like calling a person an a$$hole, or a nice guy - it is too one dimentional. For example, I might be a gentleman when I am playing pool with a girl, but when we get in bed I am agressive and dominant, now how does that fit with the definition?

What exactly was the discussion in your class about?
 

Jariel

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Basically the discussion was about sexist language. Various women were saying that they found the term "lady" offensive because it's patronising. They were arguing that the male equivalent of "gentleman" holds more positive connotations.

Personally I don't mind being called a gentleman, but playing devils advocate I could see how it might hold connotations of being a sensitive and a weaker man so was just interested to see if anyone had that point of view.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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"Lady" is patronizing? :confused: What would they want to be called?
 

BluEyes

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wh0re, B-girl, harlot, hooker, hustler, lady of the evening, prostitute, scarlet woman, streetwalker, working girl, call girl, alley cat, pink pants, hostess, tart, white slave, slut.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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BluEyes said:
wh0re, B-girl, harlot, hooker, hustler, lady of the evening, prostitute, scarlet woman, streetwalker, working girl, call girl, alley cat, pink pants, hostess, tart, white slave, slut.
These women, er ladies, er chicks, ummm.... NON-MEN (more than likely ANTI-Men) would probably still feel that they were being patronized being called by one of those names... :rolleyes:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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DJDamage

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I am troubled by that term sometimes. I noticed if a woman ever calls me a gentleman its because I did something really nice to her like open the door, or pull a chair for her. Which is a fine compliment.

However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.

I notice that if she calls me an a$$hole because I used C&F and poked fun at her, the chances are really good something is going to happen.

In essence its the context in which she calls you a gentleman as opposed to the word itself that matters.
 

Jariel

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
"Lady" is patronizing? :confused: What would they want to be called?
Stupid eh? These extreme feminists can put a negative slant on anything we men say or do though.

DJDamage said:
However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.
I see your point and this was my middle of the road argument, that we could find "gentleman" insulting too if used in a certain context or interpreted a certain way.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Jariel said:
Stupid eh? These extreme feminists can put a negative slant on anything we men say or do though.....
Yet they still expect men to pay for dinner... Pffffftttttttt...... :rolleyes:

Well, I guess I ain't no gentleman! :p
 

ryannath

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I wouldn't say being called a gentleman is always good or always bad. Sometimes it can mean you are a really good guy that's not a prick and sometimes it can mean that you are the typical "nice guy AFC." Also, being called an a$$hole is not always good, and also, not always bad. Most of the time when I get called a$$hole, I think it's very funny I know the woman is attracted to me. But, sometimes they really mean it. You can tell when which is which.
 
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I think it's one of those 'nice guy', 'let's just be friends', 'I think our interactions have been fraternial' BS and would construe it to be normally an offensive term that reflects the fact you dont appear masculine enough to the woman to take a sexual interest.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Deep Dish

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Ahh, linguistic semantics. "Lady" is patronizing if used to directly refer to someone rather than being descriptive. For example: "Well, lady, what did you expect?" is patronizing and is starkly contrasted by "You're quite a lady."

I for one strive to be a gentleman and a scholar.
 

Shiftkey

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If you take offense to being called a gentleman, get a tissue and grow up (likewise for "ladies"). I'd never imagine this being a question.
 

MuayThai

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Real men are gentlemen. lol It almost goes without saying.

Most people don't have courtesy and kindness because they're lacking something inside.
 

Yotsuya-san

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DJDamage said:
I am troubled by that term sometimes. I noticed if a woman ever calls me a gentleman its because I did something really nice to her like open the door, or pull a chair for her. Which is a fine compliment.

However I also noticed that if a girl does not have a high interest in me to begin with, the term gentleman is equivelent to being called a 'nice guy' which means she literarly castrated your balls by calling you one and you won't end up fvcking her.

I notice that if she calls me an a$$hole because I used C&F and poked fun at her, the chances are really good something is going to happen.

In essence its the context in which she calls you a gentleman as opposed to the word itself that matters.
The chicks who like the c&F guys better will give lots of lip service to the gentlemen, even though they're fvking the c&F guy. This will all change when they turn 35 or so and are still single, especially if they are single mothers.
 
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